Somewhere, in the middle of a planet called Outer Cadia, two bases rest. On one base, written in perfect Cadian, are the words "Kerokanon", written in blue. Across the canyon, is another base, with the word Khrack written on it messily in red.
Standing atop this base are two men; one wearing orange Knight Armor, and one wearing maroon Knight Armor. These two men are Lowegear and Aaron, respectively, two loyal, hardworking soldiers of Khrack.
...yeah, right.
"Hey," Aaron says to Lowegear.
"Yeah?" Lowe replies, his thoughts of cream-filled donuts ejected by the other Knight's interruption.
"Do you ever wonder why we're here?" Aaron asks, letting his spear touch the floor of the base's upper level.
"Well that's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" Lowegear answers, doing the same with his sword. "I mean, why are we here? I mean, are we a product of cosmic coincidence, or is there really a Goddess, watching everything? You know, with like a plan for us and stuff... that shit keeps me awake at night."
Aaron raises a confused eyebrow as Lowe turns back and stares at the enemy base across the canyon, his eyes thoughtful. The maroon knight just stares at his companion for a few seconds, trying to come up with a coherent answer to what he had just heard.
"...what?" is the best he can come up with. "I mean why are we here, in this canyon?" he asks, waving his arm with emphasis.
"Oh!" Lowe says, looking around. "Uh... yeah."
"...so what was all that stuff about Goddesses?" Aaron asks, still confused.
"Uh... hm? Nothing."
"...you wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Aaron sighs. "Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of Cadia, with no way in or out. And the only reason our base is here is because their base is over there!" He points to the base in the distance as it mocks them."
"Well no shit," Lowe says. "That's because we're, you know, at war."
"I know that," Aaron answers. "I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they took our base, they would have two bases in the middle of this canyon! Whoopdefuckindo!"
"I know what you mean, but come on," Lowegear says. "When I signed up for this, all there was to do was write Khrack. And now that those Kerokanon fags have come in and ruined our fun, I haven't been able to write a thing since."
Meanwhile, on a cliff overlooking the Khrack base, two men stare down, watching them... well, one and a half men.
One of the mages is prone, looking down on the enemy by using a spell that enhances his vision. His effiminate features and girly cobalt Barrier Jacket cause some to look twice.
"What are they doing?" A voice next to him asks. Turning with an annoying look to stare at the guy in a teal Barrier Jacket behind him, who stares back expectantly.
"What?" The cobalt one says.
"I said, 'what-are-they-doing'?" The teal one, known as Nighty, repeats, putting force behind every word.
"God damnit!" the cobalt one, Keroko, growls. "I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"
"Hey, you have the fucking zoom spell, I can't see shit!" Nighty shouts. "Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to sit up here and play with my dick all day!"
"Okay, okay look." Keroko sighs. "They're just standing there, and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask me "What're they doing?" my answer's gonna be "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!"
Keroko narrows his(?) eyes at Nighty, waiting for a response.
"...so..." Nighty pauses. "What're they talking about?"
"You know what?" Keroko says. "I fucking hate you."
"Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch, Keroko." Nighty fires back.
"Damnit, I don't wear panties!"
"Haha, sure, okay."
Back on the ground, a man in red armor looks up at Lowe and Aaron, cradling his weapon gently on his right shoulder. "Ladies!" he hollers. "Front and center, on the double!"
"Fuck me," Lowegear rolls his eyes.
"Yes, sir!" Aaron calls out as he leads Lowe down.