Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Greensboro, North Carolina
So I'm still alive,and I'm actually still writing! Fancy that... Anyway here we have the last segment of chapter three. Sticking with my plan this one was kept shorter totaling a hair over 5,000 words.
Snafu Part 4
Miller led things off as he hurled a smoke bomb into the middle of the room which detonated a moment later cloaking the entire area in a thick white haze. Unfortunately he hadn’t mentioned his intention to do this and so it fucked up his teammates as much as the enemy.
“What the?! How am I supposed to shot them now?!” Kou cursed glaring over at the other man who shrugged sheepishly in reply.
Makoto got it even worse. She’d charged forward to close with the enemy only to have the smoke go off almost directly in her face, and now unable to see a thing in the thick haze she plowed headlong into a stack of crates with a surprised yelp. Then to add further insult to these injuries the team was inundated by a deluge of water cascading down from the ceiling. So apparently even though the lights barely worked the sprinklers in this century old warehouse were functional: typical.
Shin alone among the team was largely unaffected by the smoke as he merely flipped his goggles to infrared and plowed right through it toward the nearest heat source. Bursting from the veil of smoke at a full sprint toward his intended target he was met with stream of energy bolts. Slightly surprised, but reacting quickly he pushed off and vaulted into the air leaping toward the shooter. The enemies attempt to track him through the jump failed as the shots lagged behind him.
Seeing that an impact was inevitable she, he was close enough to discern her sex now, spun her weapon round and braced to block his downward strike. He pushed off breaking the clash of weapons and flipping away to land a few meters back.
He paused for just a moment after landing to survey his target. She was about five six perhaps and clearly female going by her pretty face and the flowing red mane falling nearly too her waist, but her build was effectively obscured by matte black body armor, a pity that. Putting such idle thoughts aside though he charged once more having already allowed her more time to recover then was really prudent.
Makoto meanwhile had freed herself from the fallen boxes and was now thoroughly pissed, and looking for someone to take it out on. Luckily she didn’t need to look far as she swiftly spotted another one of the enemy standing nearby with an energy blade already in her hand and a scowl on her face. Like her the girl was rather tall and likewise shared her jet black hair; although he’s was cropped short barely falling to the back of her neck. They briefly made eye contact and with a curt nod of acknowledgement toward the other charged in unison.
“This is fucking stupid, I’m not getting paid nearly enough for this crap.” Kou grumbled irritably as he stalked about on top of the shelves having taken to them in search of a good firing position to try and support the rest of these idiots. The cluttered environment was making finding clear lines of fire hard, but he got a lucky break when he got a good view of Makoto trading blows with one of the enemy nearby, and the targets back was too him: even better.
He reared up from his cover and drew back on his bow taking aim between her shoulder blades… “Hey you!” When a shout from down below ruined his focus drew and angry glare down at the source. It was the idiot he’d shot earlier; unfortunately still alive and apparently also just as stupid. He got a better look at him now and could tell that he was short little runt with a messy mop of blond hair sitting on top of his head. Overall his visage did little to change his perception of the guy as an air headed twit.
“Where’s your honor just shooting at a guy while he’s talking to you!” He angrily demanded shaking the short spear in one of his hands at Kou for emphasis.
Kou’s response was to roll his eyes and lift his foot to shove a stack crates down on him. The falling debris just barely missed its intended mark as it smashed to the ground scattering what appeared to be circuit boards all over the floor. “That’s it you’re going down now!” He shouted indignantly.
“Will you shut up and DIE!” Kou shot back along with a pair of arrows aimed at his face. He rolled away from the attack and popped up into a run as Kou began raining a storm of arrows down on him. Irritatingly though his evasive movements looked clumsily and poorly coordinated, and he seemed in danger of tripping and falling at any moment, he was still dodging the fusillade.
Why can’t I fucking hit him!
? Kou cursed mentally as he boggled at how this
was evading his earnest effort to turn him into a human pin cushion. As he was pondering this though he was suddenly thrown off balance and nearly off his perch as the entire room shook as deafening boom echoed through it. By the time he recovered his target was gone, “Son of a…” He muttered irritably.
Nearby Miller casually as he surveyed the effects of his shot as he reloaded his grenade launcher like device and snapped the weapon back closed with a flick of his wrist.
“Are you trying to kill us all?!” That panicked shout came from out in front of him and was not one of his teammates which made him mildly curious.
“Ah that one wasn’t even that big.” He laughed back dismissively shouldering his weapon once more.
“You’re crazy!” That exclamation was even more frantic as the speaker was apparently able to see what he was doing.
“So some have said.” He laughed again. He couldn’t see the speaker, but he could vaguely gauge her location from her voice: good enough with a grenade launcher. He fired at the general area obliterating another section of the warehouse in a colossal boom that shook the room and added even more smoke and debris to the increasingly cluttered air. He wore an increasingly crazed grin as this went on and seemed to morphing from a clown into a crazy man in the presence of an excuse to indiscriminately employ explosives.
Ellen scrambled away from the ensuing explosion barely keeping hold of her weapon as she did and nearly panicking as she fled. He was crazy! He was going to kill them all and
, most importantly her! She was just supposed to infiltrate places! And there wasn’t supposed to be anyone here anyway! This was--- Another explosion just behind her tossed her from her feet and slammed her painfully to the ground. As she staggered back to her feet and continued to flee she could faintly hear the increasingly deranged laugh of her pursuer.
Mercifully though it was about them that the small radio in her ear crackled to life with Helen‘s voice. “We’re done guys, hurry up and fall back.” She needed no further encouragement and began running like the dickens from the scene of the battle dropping all pretenses of luring or holding off the manic stalking her.
Jason who was positioned nearby greeted the call with considerably less enthusiasm he wasn’t currently in contact with his opponents, but he hardly wanted to be seen running from that cowardly archer. Still given the disposition of their commander he dared not disobey and so was grudgingly forced to break off his combat.
The other two would have been fairly happy to obey, but found it rather difficult. Joan in particular was having some issues as she continued barely warding off the assault of her Kama wielding assailant.
He was giving her almost no chance to open the range and close combat was not her specialty. She ducked another swing at her head and lashed out with a poorly aimed kick which her enemy nimbly dodged with a backward hop. Exploiting the brief opening she snapped her weapon up to her waist and fired, but as he had through out the fight he leapt away taking cover behind a nearby shelf and dropping out of sight. She knew he’d be back on her from some other angle any second, but in those few seconds she quickly produced a grenade from her the belt on her waist and primed it.
Sure enough a moment later he came bounding over a stack of boxes, bounced of the edge of the last one and leapt toward her once more. In response she crimped her eyes shut and tossed the grenade at her feet even if he saw it he couldn’t do anything about it in mid leap. The flashbang exploded a second later with ear splitting force and blinding light. Closing her eyes had only mildly alleviated the effects on her, but she’d seen that he’d been using night vision gear and if he’d had it on when the grenade went off the effects would be far worse on him.
She staggered off half blind, but as he vision cleared and she saw no indication of pursuit it seemed to the gamble had paid off. Now she just had to help Mira break off her fight and they could get out of here…
Sparks flew as magically imbued steel met magically contained plasma in another series of rapid fire blows. The two swordswomen were proving verily closely matched in speed, power, and technique, and despite several minutes of frantic slashing and stabbing neither had managed to gain an advantage or inflict any injury more serious then a slight nick on their opponent. It was starting to become a contest of endurance, the first of them to slow even slightly would likely lose the contest.
Time was not on Mira’s side though she needed to get out of here or risk being left behind, but despite that fact a small part of her didn’t really want to go. Leaving this fight without a clear winner just irked her pride a bit. The main thing tempering this though was a feeling that she’d meet this foe again, she couldn’t be sure why she felt that, but she did, and so she could view this more as a temporary break in the contest rather then the end of it…
They separated again both of them bouncing back several meters and pausing to reassess the situation and consider their next moves. At least that was the plan until several shots whizzed out of the darkness toward the long haired girl forcing her to turn and deftly smack the projectiles aside with her blade. That momentary distraction was all that was required though and by the time she whirled back toward her original opponent Mira was gone.
Makoto grimaced as her opponent vanished from the field during the short opening the sneak attack provided. She remained on guard for another such attack, but none came and she quickly felt they’d likely used to the chance to flee.
“They seem to be pulling back regroup ASAP we’re following.”
Kou broadcast mentally a moment later confirming her suspicions and she quickly made her way back to the group.
She found them quickly enough nearby and quickly looked them over Shin had his goggles pushed up over his head and was still blinking furiously, Miller wore a large and mildly disturbing smile, and Kou… well Kou just looked about like she increasingly felt he probably always did; annoyed. Still somewhat all of the idiots looked unharmed. Once they’d gathered their wits again, and Shin stopped seeing double, the group quickly moved on in the direction the enemy seemed to have come from and fled too.
They had to move much more slowly then their quarry as they had no idea what might lay ahead. Soon though they caught sight of a shaft of light up ahead and as they moved in they saw it as another blasted door. Harsh white light flood in from the far side obscuring what was beyond, but undaunted they team formed up and moved inside.
The area beyond was considerably different then what had come before it was completely lit inside and looked basically undamaged. Only a thick layer of dust hinted that it hadn’t been in use for sometime. The hall they found themselves in was metal lined from floor to ceiling and straight with no forks, and though doors lined both sides all were closed, but one large blast door at the far end was wide open… Glancing at each other and nodding the team pushed forward with weapons at the ready.
As they approached the door they paused and stacked up on either side of it, and then after another moment to prepare they stormed the room, but it was empty. The room was a rather large, though not the same size as the warehouse, but it was mostly open aside from banks of equipment along it walls and a large number of desk in the center which made it feel larger. Unlike the other rooms this one showed signs of habitation papers were strewn about it, open and empty cans of what had likely been food littered the area, and what looked like improvised cots and beds where laid out over most of the open floor space.
Judging by the equipment around them though it looked like this places original purpose had been a lab of some kind. This put the team on even higher alert ancient but intact and abandoned labs buried deep underground rarely held anything good. Though they were also starting to wonder how these criminals and even known it was here.
This entire thing was starting to stink like week old fish…
Suddenly the door they’d entered and the only exit to the room slammed shut behind them. A moment later every one of them suddenly felt a familiar sensation, but far more intense then they’d ever experienced. An AMF had just engaged, and an extremely powerful one at that.
“Um guys I think we might have a problem.” Miller suddenly piped up hesitantly.
“Yeah no crap.” Kou responded condescending as he checked the door, but could find no controls for it and given the density of the AMF blasting through something this thick would be nearly impossible.
“I’m not talking about the AMF.”
“Is that?” Shin asked hesitantly as he walked up besides the kneeling Miller.
“A bomb? Yeah sure looks like it.” He affirmed his comrades suspicions.
“You know this is rather desperately cliché.” Shin remarked more bemused that terrified.
“You have to admit it would be pretty effective though hard to cover your tracks better then dropping a million tons of rock on the scene of the crime.” Miller countered shrugging.
“Point.” Shin conceded.
“I can’t help, but think you all might be missing the key fact we’re all about to fucking
.” Kou chimed in bitterly.
“Don’t give up just yet boys lest you forget you’ve got the best bomb tech this side of Mid right here!” Miller added in as upbeat as usual as he proceeded with his examination of the rather large explosive device situated in the middle of the chamber that continued beeping rather ominously.
boned.” Kou reiterated
Miller scowled at him but now
wasn’t the time to get a pissing match. More so since having gotten a fair overview of the bomb he was now ready to open it and actually try and defuse it, but he needed one thing first. ”Yo Shin toss me one of those knives of yours and chicken little toss me one of your pig stickers too.”
, and we’ve been over that nickname shit!” Kou growled back.
“Do you want to
blow up or argue about definitions?” Miller’s comeback was pretty much a slam dunk though and Kou quickly tossed him one of his arrows which he snatched out of the air along with a knife Shin tossed a moment later. He quickly jammed the knife into panel on the device to open it and got to work. Kou wandered over to watch him work out of some combination of morbid curiosity and the fact that the closer he was to the bomb when it went off the less painful his death was likely to be…
“Can you defuse it?” Makoto asked nervously as she watched Miller prod and move about a number of wires with the shaft of the arrow apparently trying to get a better view of some part of the bomb’s inner workings.
“Can I defuse it?!” Miller chuckled as if the answer to the question ought to be patently. “Maybe.” He added tersely.
“Maybe, I was kind of looking for more then a maybe!” She shot back angrily.
“Then ask again in five minutes, I’ll know one way or another by then. In the meantime though pipe down as this kind of thing is best done without unwanted distractions.” Miller’s comeback was, once again, pretty good and rather quickly and effectively shut up his compatriot while he continued his probing of the bombs inner workings.
This process continued for several more agonizing minutes as all present did what they could to take their minds off their impedingly explosion induced deaths. Miller’s blasé approach to the entire thing and whistling of some catchy pop tune to himself as he probed the lethal device did little to sooths anyone’s nerves during this process.
“Oi, Shin.” Kou gestured for his partner to join him off to the side of the room away from the other two.
”Yo, what’s up?” Shin asked gamely as he approached him genuinely curious as to what his partner that normally took all pains to avoid interacting with him might want.
“Seeing as we’re probably all going to die violently in a few minutes at most I just wanted to tell you that—“ He began uncomfortably clearly no quite sure of his words.
“Hold up your not coming out are you?” Shin asked suddenly eyeing him suspiciously and taking a step back.
“What?! No! You think I’m gay?!” Kou shouted back angrily popping a vein on his head in the process.
“Well I mean I’ve never seen you with a girl so I just sort of assumed…” Shin responded a tad embarrassed as he absently scratched the back of his head.
“I… No screw it you ruined it!” Kou seemed about to try and continue whatever he wanted to say, but after a moment of consideration just gave up on it and went with impotent rage instead.
“Ruined what?” Shin questioned a tad confused.
“No, forget it I thought we could have at least a tiny moment before we died horribly, but screw it.” Kou declared turning his back to him and crossing his arms.
“Ah come on man don’t be like that!” Shin implored him trying not to laugh and only partially succeeding.
“No, screw it, you ruined it! I’ll see you in hell asshole.” Kou huffed angrily ignoring him.
“Oh shit!” Miller’s sudden panicked exclamation was swiftly followed by everyone else panicking in turn in preparation for imminent explodey death. All expect Miller that is who was merely pointing at them while cackling like a Hyena. It took only a moment for those present to realize they’d been the victims of a rather twisted joke.
.” Shin gave a rare scowl.
“Are you kidding it was priceless oh man the looks on your faces!” Miller responded snickering a bit as he simmered down and controlled his laughter; Makoto helped him out in this by smashing him over the head with the flat of her sword. He swiftly went down in a heap semi-conscious and sporting a lovely new bruise on the back of his skull.
“Thanks for saving me the trouble of smacking him myself.” And Kou’s thanks were indeed sincere and heartfelt in this case.
“My pleasure.” She responded glaring at the battered heap flopping around at her feet.
“Well we might not all be about to die anymore, but the door is still locked so I think we might be stuck in here awhile.” Shin remarked rapping on the still sealed exit with his knuckle for emphasis.
“I wonder why the enemy would go to such lengths to find and then destroy this place their must be something of value in here.” Makoto was a bit contemplative as she surveyed the room the team occupied.
“Odds are whatever it was if it was still here when the arrived they probably took it with them when they left.” Shin frowned.
“Probably, but we should look around anyway. It’s not like we don’t have time.” Kou shrugged.
So saying the team spread out and began more carefully examining the room for anything unusual. Miller joined in as well a few minutes later as he regained his senses and was the first to find something somewhat interesting. “Hey this thing is still on.” He remarked idly as he heard a slight hum from one of the pieces of equipment as she walked past it.
“Don’t touch i—“ Kou began put Miller had already jammed a half dozen of the buttons on it. A cylinder began to emerge from the top of the machine, but then ground to a halt amidst the sound of scrapping metal apparently stuck. Everyone glared at Miller for randomly punching buttons on an unknown machine, but let it go as they moved in to see what exactly had happened.
“Looks like it’s stuck.” Shin observed after several moments of intense scrutiny.
“Amazing deduction Holmes how do you
it?” Kou was less then impressed by that pronouncement.
Several more seconds of silence followed as the foursome continued to stare at the device like idiots. “So… should be pull it out?” once again it was Shin that broke the silence everyone exchanged glances, looked back at the stuck cylinder, then glanced at each other again.
Basically none of them were sure about the answer to that and more silence followed it though it wasn’t quite as long this time. “So we gonna yank it or what?” Miller asked flippantly.
“That’s what we where trying to decide idiot.” Kou informed him grumpily.
“I think we should yank it.” Miller announced sagely.
“Really now, and why is that?” Kou inquired though he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.
“Well this thing’s gotta still be working for a reason whatever it is it must be important.” He replied with a shrug.
“Or it could release some kind of deadly virus.” Kou countered sharply.
“So they’d store a deadly plague in something you can open by mashing random buttons?” Shin wasn’t really convinced it was likely to be that dangerous.
“That dose seem rather unlikely.” Makoto agreed.
“God it was just an example! Look all I’m saying is that opening random containers in some kind of ancient lab isn’t a good idea if you have no idea what’s in it!” Kou responded extirpated.
“Well I suppose
true.” Shin agreed after a moment of consideration.
“Caution would be best given our circumstances.” Makoto also assented.
“So we’re not gonna yank it?” Miller sounded a little down about this.
“No it’s decided we’re not gonna yank it.” Kou announced with an air of finality and silenced settled over the room again as all present just kind of stood around bored. It wasn’t like there was much to do in here and it was basically like a minute at most before most of them started throwing sideway glances at the cylinder, and by about three minutes no one was even trying to hide the fact they were basically all staring at it.
Looking away from the button for a moment to find everyone else also staring at it Kou just gave up. “Alright screw it, but if we all die I reserve the right to say I told you so when we get to hell.”
“So I can pull it then?” Miller asked eagerly.
“Yes you can pull it, after I go to the other end of the room.” Kou responded already heading out that way with Shin and Makoto not far behind, better safe then sorry really.
“Alright then!” Miller announced grinning and rubbed his hands together loosening up.
“Just do it!” Kou sighed wearily poking his head up over the console he’d taken cover behind just enough to peer at the proceedings.
With that order Miller grabbed hold of the top of the container and heaved. As he did everyone watching ducked back down, but then nothing happened. No scream of terror, no gasp of awe, just nothing. Peaking back over their cover they found Miller looking down at the cylinder and scratching the back of his head. “That thing’s really stuck in there.” He commented idly eliciting disgusted sighs from the onlookers.
“Well that was a let down.” Shin announced exiting their cover and heading back over to Miller’s position.
Miller appeared just as let down by the outcome as he examined the stuck container more carefully. “Aurally it looks like it’s just slightly off center if we had some kind of pry bar or something to stick in here and work it loose we might be able to get it out.”
“Yes well we’re unfortunately fresh out of pry bars if you hadn’t noticed.” Kou sniped bitingly from just behind him.
have something thin, strong, and long enough to give us some leverage.” Shin remarked ideally and suddenly all eyes fell to Makoto.
going to let you use my sword as a glorified crowbar!” She hissed indignantly gripping the weapon tightly too her.
“Ah well I guess we can just wait for hours for the others to get in here so we can find out what’s inside then.” Kou drawled casually.
“Guess so, it’s not like there could be anything particularly exciting in there right?” Shin added off hand turning away from the slab and wandering off with his hands clasped behind his head.
“Ah but I really wanted to find out what was back there!” Miller whined slightly and both of the other males glared at him. “What?!” He huffed defensively unsure why he’d been fixed with said looks.
Luckily despite Miller’s efforts the plan succeeded anyway. “Well I suppose it couldn’t do much harm, but if you damage it so hel---“ Makoto began sternly.
“Yes, yes you’re wrath will be terrible indeed we get it, now let’s just jam that thing in there already.” Kou really wasn’t in the mood for threats at the moment.
Soon enough they crammed the tip of the sword into the small gap around the cylinder and began working it back and forth trying to pry it loose. Makoto was yelling at them to be more careful the entire time, but despite her worries the sword proved up to the task and after a minute or so of working it the cylinder suddenly popped free. All present watched in eager anticipation as it rose up to its full height and stopped.
It was about a foot high total and perhaps a third that length across and made of solid polished metal, but a seam at the front for what looked to be a door was faintly visible. With no idea how to open that though the sword was brought out once again this time to force the door. This proved considerably easier to do and it was swiftly popped from its hinges allowing fog poured from inside obscuring the contents for a few seconds until it cleared.
“It’s a doll?!” Miller blurted out confused as he finally got a good look at the contents.
“Must have been one serious collector to set up a lab just to store his favorite doll.” Shin added although his remark was laced with sarcasm.
“It’s not a doll you idiots!” Kou chastised them. “It’s a god damn unison device!”
“I thought those things were you know… alive.” Shin questioned leaning in to get a closer look at the foot tall boy.
“It must be inactive for some reason.” Kou more or less pulled a guess out of his ass.
“Or it’s just a doll.” Miller put in from off to the side glancing away quickly when Kou glared at him.
“Even if its offline such a device would be worth… well
of money. Why would they leave it here?” Makoto posed the obvious question.
“I have no idea.” Kou admitted.
“Maybe they just didn’t know it was here?” Miller purposed seriously.
“Tch what else could have been down here worth more then
?” Kou questioned condescendingly glancing over at the device.
“I’m not sure I’d like the answer to that question if I knew it.” Shin remarked warily and all where silent again as they pondered that.
Not long after the group searched the rest of the lab, but found nothing else of interest. They then tried to mess with the door some more, but that proved a bust too and so in the end they more or less just settled in and twiddled their thumbs waiting for rescue. It was nearly an hour before noise outside finally alerted them that someone was attempting to gain entry and several more after that before the door finally opened.
“Took you long enough.” Kou’s first remark to the rest of team as they were reunited was less then grateful.
“Well I just wanted you leave you guys in their, but then everyone got all pissy about it.” Felix matched his lack of manners easily. “Anyway I assume you managed to let the bad guys escape.” He added noting with satisfaction the grimace the remark elicited in Kou.
“We found something you should see.” Kou countered moving past the insult, mostly for lack of a decent comeback.
That slightly piqued Felix’s curiosity and he followed the younger man inside.
I don't feel the first part of this chapter is very strong I'll admit that writing the fight was a chore and I don't feel it came out as all that interesting. It was sort of a "gotta do this to move on with the plot" really. I originally planned it to be bigger, but in the end decided to cut it down to just a little skirmish that introduced, but didn't reveal much about some of the antagonists. That was on purpose they'll be fleshed out more in the near future.
Anyway the last bit is where we start to get some actual plot again including the first vaugely unexpected bit and something I've hinted at long ago to some people. Namely the discovery of a Unison Device, said device will be heavily involved in what happens later, but that's for well... later.
Also this was not beta read and was written more or less in a stretch over the last six hours while I had time, so it probably has errors in it.
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