[hell88]

Originally Posted by MisterJB

well, this is probrably the smallest chapter I ever wrote but like I said, i'm trying to put only one plot on one chapter. Well, I hope you enjoy it.

Spoiler for chapter 2:

Chapter 2:

The Shadow of Ultimate Darkness
Darkhenus



Darkness reigned supreme on the damned castle that Darkhenus had erected for himself on the North.

Those cursed walls breathed with the whispers of the human slaves who had died building such a horrific castle. Those human slaves were the pour souls who hadn’t got the chance to escape from the North before Darkhenus had arrived.

And now, in the most tortured chamber of that demonic palace, Darkhenus stared at the flaming dark shadow that had appeared.

“So, what do you think of my palace, father?” Darkhenus asked, waving his hand on the direction of the walls.

The shadow seemed to look around admired, however Darkhenus knew that was no more than a mere act of courtesy.
His father wasn’t the type of man to appreciate architecture.
On the other hand, his father was hardly a man at all.

Seeing that the shadow wasn’t going to answer, Darkhenus spoke again. “It is nothing when compared to the gigantic fortress that you reserve for yourself on the Mainland.”

“It seems you are plotting you schemes again, Darkhenus, my son.” the mouthless shadow said “Despite your condition as the strongest of my sons, you were always the one who liked to conceive the plans for the battles. You brothers enjoyed more the heat of battle and the blood of the enemies.”

Darkhenus laughed, enjoying a private joke “And that’s why they are dead and I’m alive. A strong mind needs to be in an even stronger body, don’t you agree, Father?”

The shadow crossed its immaterial arms; Darkhenus admired how his father was able to maintain a physical presence there by using only the shadows of the castle, while his father’s real body was safe in the Mainland.
Even Darkhenus himself needed to use a dead body to do that.

“Where do you think that this path you walk will take you, Darkhenus?” the shadow questioned.

“Where else, father?” Darkhenus answered, smiling with the smile of a madman. “To the fiery pits of Hell, of course.”

“After all, I am a messenger of the purest Darkness while you my father, you are Darkness itself, are you not?”

“For me and for those who serve me there is only one possible end. Hell itself.”

“But first, I will make this whole Continent burn!”

The shadow’s eyes met his son’s. “What is Thelmus doing?”

“Thelmus is doing what he likes to do the most.”

“Killing people.”

I like this one, the talk between Darkhenus and is father was very dark I should say.

Although I felt this chapter ruined the flow of the story, I think that it should have been the first chapter because of how the story before ended. The last chapter you put up should have been this one instead. I find that you do that a lot with your fic and it makes it difficult to read. Instead of going back and forth with your chapters, like writing about one thing then writing about something else in the next chapter, then going back to writing what you were writing before in the chapter before that makes it hard to fallow and it gets hard to remember whats going on. What I am saying is try to write about one thing at a time in your story to make the flow of the story easier to fallow.