Quote:
Originally Posted by justinstrife
I'd have to say you're wrong. When I didn't fight back, the bully just grew more confident in his actions and things would only get worse. When I finally did fight back, and kicked the crap out of him, he'd go away.
Case in point. 1994-1995 my Freshman year of High School. Robert Nintemen and his band of merry men use to harass me every day in P.E.(Physical Education). EVERY DAY. I was a massive 5'0" and 85-90 lbs(third smallest guy in a school of 2200 students), to his 5'7" 145 lbs. Finally after several months of abuse, I stood my ground and hit him until he cried. His 4 friends were all set to jump me 4vs1, when the Seniors showed up and told them anything more than 1v1 would get them involved to even the odds. Robert never even looked at me again over the next 3 1/2 years....
Sophmore year, P.E. class. A student I wasn't really familiar with, started the same crap at every opportunity. Pushing me into the bleachers when playing basketball. Knocking me into a fence during football. Again I decided to stand up to him. His friends were there to back him up. The Seniors came along and backed me up. A fight didn't break out, but they backed down, and never bothered me again.
Everytime I tried to avoid them, ran away, went to teachers and staff, nothing happened. Everytime I stood up for myself and faced the bullies head on, I ended up finding peace. The only thing Bulliest respect is strength. If you don't show them strength, they will not even so much as pity you while they kick you down. Stand up to them and give them a taste of their own pain, and 99.999% of the time they will go away, or end up being your best friend years later. 100% of the time you try and avoid bullies or run away, they will only get worse.
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Defending yourself if it's absolutely necessary is one thing. But the key term here is necessary. You should never be the one to initiate a fight, and if someone challenges you to a fight, don't accept. Necessary self-defense is if the guy is coming at you right then and then there looking to do violence unto you. Anything else is just you countering bullying with bullying.
If you pursue things through the proper channels with enough conviction then you can get the far more effective message through of "your behavior will not fly in society" rather "if you screw with me personally I will beat you up", which only bolsters your own ego and doesn't actually correct the problem except in Shounen manga.
And once again, you only even have the luxury of fighting someone and expecting it to work even the rarest of times if you're in a very insular, safe environment where you socking the kid one day doesn't get you killed walking home the next week. It's just a poor policy all around.