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Old 2006-05-30, 14:42   Link #46
Gomen asobase desuwa!
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 36
Satoko's Trap Lecture - Novice Level (Ep. 09)

Kei: "I give you my word. Should Satoko ever decide to hide out in these woods, she can take on an entire battalion."
Rena: "I know. [With traps like these, perhaps] Satoko was teaching trap lessons at a foreign country on the behalf of the Soviet Union."
Mion: "Enough with these chatters...someone help us~!!"

...How did we get into a predicament as we are in now? What kind of traps can put us into this situation?

Mion has her head stuck out of the ground as she fell into a very tight traphole. Rena has a tinplate bucket stuck on her head and cannot get it off. They both look pretty stupid, but at least they have their feets on the ground unlike me.

Mion: "How about you Kei-chan? Can you wiggle yourself out? If you can, help pull ojisan outta here."
Kei: "It's you who should wiggle out to help me! How the heck am I supposed to do anything when I'm wrapped up!"

I am in sumaki (wrapped up in a bamboo rug) and pulled up 2 meters into the air by a snare trap. What kind of trap did she setup to put me into this mess? Huh?! Satoko!

It all started when we decided to go into the woods as I've never seen much of the wilderness, coming from the city and all.

Rena: "Umm... but Rena doesn't know the back woods? Rena's gonna get lost. Hau."
Mion: "The back woods, eh? I used to play around there when I was little, but I haven't gone up there in quite a while. It's pretty easy to get lost there if you take the wrong path."
Satoko: "If it's the back woods, I do believe you can rely on us! The whole mountain is our playground. Right Rika?"
Rika: "...Mi-!"
Kei: "Really. Now that's encouraging. So why don't you guide us through a short hiking trip!"
Rena: "But Keiichi-kun... Did you read the notice that was passed around for summer break? It says that we shouldn't go into the woods as it is really easy to get lost."
Rika: "It's not summer break so it's still okay. Besides, we know the path so it's safe."
Satoko: "The woods are our playground! It's like our garden! I do believe we know every hidden paths and shortcuts around there!"

...Yes, Satoko and Rika-chan did know the way. Thanks to them, I was able to see a grand view of nature that I couldn't see in the village and breathe in fresh air of the wilderness. But something went wrong somewhere!!

Satoko: "Oh, yes. By the way everyone, you all should follow my footsteps exactly from here on."
Kei: "Huh...? What the heck are you saying all of a sudden?"
Rika: "...You should do exactly as Satoko tells you to do, for your own safety."
Rena: "Hmmm. Hey Mii-chan, what's this? I wonder. Do I pull on it? Pull on it?"

PING ....biiing ....swish swish ...gwa!!

When Rena pulled on a what seemed to be a kite string, a rain of bamboo spears fell from the trees right next to Rena!!

Mion: "Waaa!!! Waaaa!! What the heck is this?! Ahh?! Wha?! Gyaaaa!!"
Rika: "...Oh the memories. That was a trap that Satoko made in the second semester in the second grade."
Satoko: "I do believe you were lucky there. The tips of those bamboo spears are laced with dog poo so if it scratches you it will start rotting from the infected area."
Kei: "Since when did this place become Vietnam!!"

...According to Satoko and Rika-chan, Satoko seems to have gotten a huge interest in setting up traps in her early years in elementary school. As a result, she started setting up countless traps all around these back woods...

Rena: "...Keiichi-kun. I'm thinking that the real reason they told us not to go into these woods is not because we're gonna get lost, but because it is dangerous..."

I begin to agree with Rena's theory very much so.

Satoko: "So, c'mon. We'd better get hurrying or it's gonna get dark soon. I do believe that if it gets dark, it gets dangerous even for me."

Why the heck did you drag us into such a treacherous mountain!! Why should I, a normal healthy Japanese boy have to worry about his life by a bunch of booby-traps!!

...And just when we lost sight of Satoko and Rika-chan, us three became entangled in our respective traps...

Mion: "...Someone pull me outta here~! I need to go to the restroom~!!"
Rena: "Besides that~! Someone remove this bucket from my head~!! I can't see anything~! Hau~!!"
Kei: "...Hey Rena, stop flopping around too much. S...Someone might see your underwear..."
Rena: "H, Hau----!! Did you see it?! See it?! Keiichi-kun saw it!! Hau~~~!!!"

smack smack smack smaaaaaaack

Kei: "Hey you can see through it right...!! Even with that bucket over your head, you can see ri...ouch gaaa!! oof!!"

Mion starts crying out as I become a sandbag for Bucket Rena's punches.

Rika: "...Can't get out of the trap hole. Pity, pity."
Satoko: "...Sigh. Didn't I warn you guys? That's why I said to get far away from me!"

I realize it now. ...The main reason why Satoko wanted to bring us into the woods was to showoff her booby traps that she set up. I would've preferred it to just see it, NOT EXPERIENCE IT!!

Rika-chan started patting all three of our heads in pity as she smiled with glee...

Last edited by kj1980; 2006-06-01 at 11:39.
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