[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Triple_R

What I want to focus on here is the realism and believability of homosexual characters (or characters widely thought to be that) in anime. Now, I admit I'm hardly the most well-versed person here, as I live in a very rural area. What I put in spoiler space sums up most of my personal experiences with gay people.

We can probably cut to the chase and ask whether or not dating and sexuality in anime series are true to reality, including heterosexual pairings. I would venture that some real-life relationships follow your classic anime love story, but in most cases it doesn't mimic reality. Working off of that, why should homosexual pairings be any more life-like?

Originally Posted by Triple_R

Spoiler for Triple_R's personal experiences.:

Interestingly, they don't really fit the old stereotype - The older half of the couple is very tomboyish with a boyish look to her, but the younger woman is just as feminine as most young women her age are.

I suppose stereotypes may differ between regions, but the relationship that you described fits the stereotype that I've heard on both coasts of the USA perfectly. You have the "butch" type and the "feminine" type. I've seen one lesbian pairing that didn't follow this, but it's the only one that I can think of. Most have seemingly followed the stereotype (although one could argue that defining someone as "butch" or "feminine" is subjective, and that I am subjectively defining people in order to fit them into the stereotype).

Originally Posted by Triple_R

Would two childhood female friends (both of a lesbian orientation) be the same way, or would the societal challenges faced by gays and lesbians actually make it more likely for such friendship to turn into romance (i.e. a young girl with a crush on another may be more likely to hide it until an older age than a young boy with a crush on a girl due to the young lesbian having greater social concerns and worries over "coming out").

I've read a bit on self-described sexual experiences and fantasies from various women, and the sexual activity behind such relationships seems to occur. It's difficult to gauge how rare it is, though. Since most people would respond to such a scenario with shock (or great interest, if that's your thing), I think it's safe to assume that it's pretty rare.

As to whether or not it would turn into a romance, there's probably less of a chance of that happening as compared with the heterosexual scenario. While it's true that facing great diversity can make people bond more strongly, based on relationship statistics and factors behind why relationships fail I would say that such stresses are more likely to break the relationship. As in the case of a friendship, it's likely that it would keep it from going farther. This also partly gets into your mentioning about "coming out" and the difficulties associated with that.

Originally Posted by Triple_R

So this makes me wonder how gay and lesbian teenagers even go about finding each other, or rather if they simply take the plunge with those they develop a crush on and hope for the best?

I've wondered about this, as well. Having been hit on by a member of the same sex before, I get the impression that maybe it's not so different from how it works for homosexuals. To expand, a guy can see that a girl is a girl, but there's no guarantee that she'll be interested in you just because she's of the opposite sex. You can make outright advances, or you can get closer to them and then confess when you feel it's relatively safe to do so (which is what happened in my case). So a homosexual individual may not know whether someone else is homosexual, although strong suspicions can be raised based on behavioral and appearance stereotypes, association with the LGBT community and matters pertaining to them, and so on... and of course, they don't know whether their person of interest is interested in them, but the process is the same. The difference is that asking someone of the same sex out has the potential for greater blowback, given that homosexuality is still not fully accepted as being "normal" by society.

Originally Posted by Triple_R

Of course, even if a particular pairing is pure fantasy, it can still be enjoyed at exactly that level. Still, I think I would find it particularly rewarding to read/watch yuri pairings that are "true to life", so I'd love to read some opinions on that (i.e. which yuri and/or yaoi pairings in anime strike people as the most believable/realistic).

In my opinion, anime doesn't portray relationships very realistically in general. As far as I've seen, romantic relationships between individuals of the same gender aren't any different in their dynamics. Anime I've seen tends to portray yuri relationships as being ultra-pure and as close to true love as you can get, but lesbian relationships in reality seem to function the same as relationships between a man and a woman. The male-male relationships that I've seen in reality tend to be a bit more peaceful than your average relationship, but I've seen fewer male-male relationships than female-female and can't really make a generalization from that.