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Originally Posted by Envy II
However, it ended, completely unexpected to me with "It's not you, it's me." Sounds like I should have got over it by now, right?
Well I haven't. Mostly because they also strongly hinted towards the possibility of wanting to get back together with me one day.
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What were those hints?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Envy II
The combination of all of this has made it hard for me to get over them. I'm convinced that I fell in love, and due to the fact that they gave me hope for the future I just can't let go. They're an amazing person, and I can't see myself finding another one like them. D: (And I do mean that. I can't see there being another person like them. Ever.)
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A family member of mine was caught up in a similar situation. She was in a totally trashy situation that I'm ashamed for her sake over, but it was what it was. Regardless, she was finally dumped, but the trashbag guy who dumped her apparently said that he'd wanted her, and said he'd contact her in the future.
On the whole, women are quite devoted, it seems. For about two years my family member shrugged off interests from other guys - better guys, in my opinion... guys who seemingly knew how to treat a woman, at the very least. Finally, the trashbag called, out of the blue, and it was as if nothing had happened. Ultimately, he ended up dumping her again, but still gave her that rubbish about contacting her in the future. You have no idea how terribly pissed off guys like that make me, to play with a woman's feelings like that.
I don't know your gender, and I'm not even going to guess at it - men can be just as devoted as the most devoted of women (and some women can be just as fickle as the most good-for-nothing man). Either way, protect yourself from the situation that I just described above. I'm not going to tell you that a perfectly good relationship can't come out of the situation you described (although if it were me, my trust in the other person might be somewhat shaken unless we had a good, long discussion about it).
However, don't tell yourself that you can't picture yourself in a relationship that was just as good if not better than the relationship with that other person. You probably can't find an exact copy of them, it's true, but why would you? There are a lot of people in the world, and you're going to change (even slightly) with time, too. Your compatibilities will shift. There could be much better out there for you, but you won't know it. (You're probably telling yourself that I'm wrong, that I don't know you or this other person, so I can't see how perfect it was... if so, you're still fooling yourself.)
Either way, put yourself first in this situation. In any relationship you need to sacrifice at least a bit of yourself for the other person, but it has to work both ways. The other person has withdrawn, so as of now, protect your own interests first.