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Member
 Author
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind...
Age: 33
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Nice, although I wonder if Asuna will catch on...or will her famous hot headedness get the better of her? Ahh! Next chapter for me up as well! No, not fifty one, fifty two is up! Yes, I am insane like that! Two chapters, five days! I've been doing things like this for a long while now...you'd think I would get used to it.
Chapter fifty one.
Harsh language apparent!
Chapter Fifty two.
Spoiler:
That which is not real should not be able to feel. It should be a law. A fricken law. Damn. I am nothing but a tool that the world will use, so tell me, why does my heart ache? All emotion comes from the brain, one should right upon their cards that they love one from the bottom of their brain, but the human anatomy clenches muscle in emotional distress, and the most diligent muscle in this area if the heart.
It's just a fricken muscle! Nothing else, but it hurts, aches. Why? Just because of my mother? My idiot father? Is it because of a girl I have come to realize as my aunt so easily losing her innocence and sundering mine, without so much a shred of outward remorse? Or is it the fact that I have come to realize companionship, only to realize I must now give it all away?
Life is...cruel, so many times, it is cruel, to me.
Negi sat, calmly, at the "dining room" table, just hearing himself think. The place was fancy, Rakkan's house... He had never let himself just sit down and see it. The chairs were a fine Mahogany type of wood, solid and strong to fit the table, which was set for about twelve people. The room was well furnished, if a bit spartan. Just right for Rakkan.
In front of him was Chisame's laptop, it was time for him to keep his promise after all and charge it, along with the other electrical devices of hers. It was a nice exercise, doing this; it allowed him to control his magic small scale, for precision more than anything. While he did this however, he took advantage of using the thing. Internet was a disgrace of course, and working through Mahou Net was a pain, but he could manage.
"Negi..."
It was when his mother walked in that "Grand Finale." began playing as loud as possible, and by no coincidence at all. It blared out, starting off violently into its hard guitar, made the woman jump. He didn't want to talk to her, that's basically what he was saying, without any solid words. Calm as you please.
This morning, he had seen Asuna lose to Kago, and Kago promised that tonight, they would begin his training in the code, if by that time he still wanted to learn it...Negi didn't quite understand that comment, but he had a feeling that Asuna had been hiding something from him, something that Kago knew as well, and unlike her, he planned to tell the boy.
"Negi..."
Arika swallowed as the music entered into a false end, a short solo of a piano fading into nothingness. She was about to open her mouth when the music blasted her again, once more making her jump. Loud as hell, and harsh, that's what it sounded like to her, but she recognized the energy behind it.
"Negi..."
She knew, as he was a vampire, that the noise was probably assaulting his ears. Yet she could also see that he was using it as an excuse. He had heard her, but he was ignoring her. Now, after seeing Asuna just...appear...the way she had, and sporting the obvious fact her memories had been shared with Negi...it sparked a fear in her. Many of those memories would be very damaging to her relationship with her son...
"Negi..."
She just needed a confirmation, but as the music entered into a more pronounced Cello (Or violin, she couldn't tell...) theme and less of the hard guitar, her patience with Negi thinned. Her mind was more of a mother than an actually logical person when her mouth opened next, forgetting just how Negi worked.
"Negi Tajaiwar Springfield!"
The boy, needless to say, turned slowly, instantly shifting the volume down a near minimum, but loud enough for both parties to still hear it, while he reset the track. He looked at his mother full on. Tajaiwar hmm?
Tajwar was an Arabic name for crowned king. Yet, Tajai? Closest thing he had heard to that was the Thunder God, meaning, if he was correct, the name meant Crowned Thunder King...some kind of middle name, hmm? So that's what the smudged "T' word on his birth certificate said...his eyes took their time in giving Arika their attention, even if they were trained on her, there was no focus.
"Tajaiwar? Funny how my first elemental affinity was Lightning magic then, hmm? Unless I misinterpret the name...What do you want with my life? Come to drill me on what Asuna told me? Or are you here to "hug" me and tell me it's all a lie? I tell you right now, doing that to a steel rosebush, thorns bared, would be a more comfortable experience at the moment."
He was, as always, too quick for his own good, too smart. Arika paused as once again, the song entered into its false ending phase. She didn't jump when it started again, but she found her heart beat along with the pace of those ever present Cellos. Negi watched her, carefully.
"Listen...I don't know what Asuna showed you, but you have to understand, whatever it was...you know that we love you, right?"
Avoiding the issue, like a true diplomat... and he said so too, plainly, to her face, just as his music reached a new crescendo, a constant thrum of string to back up his words, she was angry, but he let her be. She didn't expect him to see past the stall, or worse, she did, but hoped he would be blind to it, wanting love.
"Negi...please."
"Paused to long there, and you stall. Listen to me; I am no judge of sin. I am not god. I can't know what you have been through; I can only know what I saw. I'm not going to sit here and hate you, or my father, for what you did. You people acted like people always do, for the moment. No one can see the future, not even I can predict it, not for any real purpose, it's a fleeting gift."
It just so happened that Negi had a playlist on that laptop, one that Chisame kept out of plain respect, and the fact his soundtracks weren't all that bad to listen too...as "Grand Finale" faded away, taking with it it's elevated energy, the music brought one down gently, playing another, softer track. Negi stood up slowly, still letting the electricity play from his hands into the machine's ports, slowly, methodically.
"You know, most people now a day, don't listen to the words of a song, Arika. They listen to the beat, the tone. The song can spew blasphemy left and right, but they won't hear it. That is the twenty first century... "
The boy sighed, casting his free hand out to the computer behind him. He shook his head before continuing. He reset and paused the track currently playing.
"That's one of the main reasons I generally stick to soundtracks. I never chose a song without a meaning behind it however. It becomes a game. The last one was called "Grand Finale, or "Postludum"...besides its intense theme, I enjoy it because it does indeed remind me of my grand finale, a grand battle in which I have to lose. A catalyst as I am can only expect that...
Pressing play, he waited a few seconds before the a chorus of strings entered into the play, but he did not waste those few seconds, he spoke, and the music caught up to him.
"This one is called "Finding Beauty" recently brought to life just this year. It is, perhaps, one of my favorites. Do you know why? Listen to it... Hear that? Those instruments sing. They sing, for Christ's sake! F*ck, you have to hear it! The world vibrates goddamnit! The world...!
The impression of waiting, of seeking, of dreaming, is played out in such a clear, powerful way, and right in the middle, when the power comes to bear, do you see...it is only in music can I see. Life is full of so much terror, so much "ugly" that I forget sometimes...its beauty...
I have to find it, chase after it, and yet, every time I come within a hair, it slips away...my dear woman, I have hardened myself. I have become so hard, due to those mistakes you made, due to my own mistakes, that the beauty runs away. It runs from me. You hear me? It runs!"
At this point, Negi swiped at his own face, and Arika was surprised to find they had become teary, actually teary. The boy was actually spilling a piece of his soul, once more, to another, letting the world peek in for a rare sight, the admission that he still was alive, and could still be hurt inside.
"A catalyst, born because his father wanted power, a catalyst, whose own mother, out of sorrow, tried to kill, numerous times! A catalyst who failed to save his own family, regardless of the excuse of being too young to know. One who should not be able to feel, who has killed, stomped and eradicated so much beauty from his own mind, the beauty of innocence!"
She would have interrupted him, but he was pacing now, wildly casting his eyes about looking everywhere, anywhere but at her, all at once and the same time. He was looking for the words to describe what he wanted to say, looking for the means.
"I am that sole figure, that fool! Tell me something, does a screwdriver pine for companionship? Does a saw search for a mate, do pens ache for love? Why does this hurt, why do I even care? I shouldn't, as I am nothing, and nothing can't care if it dies, won't give a damn if something changes…"
He looked at her now, stopping near the table to stand stock still, just staring, unblinking at her. It was creepy. He was switching from one emotion to the next, a tirade of flowing energy, and she couldn't pin him down to anything, not any one mode.
"I am not saying this music exemplifies all of this mind you. I am simply saying what it makes me feel like, and what is on my mind because of it. My life is not mine to control, I am not like you. You may listen to this and think it beautiful, and yes, perhaps it is, but I see deeper into it, and when I apply it to my life, it takes on a whole different level of meanings to me. Not the music's beauty, but the music that life beats out, that is the beauty, and horror, that I am looking at."
She came closer to him, a means of comfort, but Negi backed away, dangerous, unpredictable. His eyes managed to snag the screen of the computer, which confirmed a full battery, and just in time, for he felt that any longer wouldn't allow him to control his flow anymore.
"Don't touch me. I don't need to be told I'm wrong, not again, my life is made up of lies, what's one more, if it even is a lie?"
He swallowed once and his eyes were clear once more. It was as if it had never happened, not as he powered down the computer. His eyes burned as his father chose that time to come in through the same door. He stopped when he felt the sparks fly however. He had been around long enough to know when Negi was dangerous to come in contact with, and this was one of those times.
He stared at Nagi for a few seconds, Negi did, before seeing Rakkan and Eva enter after him. It must be near lunch time, only reason people would be coming in, in such numbers. Was it only time for lunch? Really? He thought it was, hoped it had been, later than that. He sighed as the culprit herself, Asuna, paused behind Eva.
"What's the hold up?"
This had come from Rakkan, and for it, he received a full on blast from Negi's eyes. Not that it had any real effect upon the carefree, "invincible" man. In fact, Rakkan welcomed it. It meant the boy was ready and looking for a fight, and if he wanted one, his elder would only be too happy to oblige. Negi pointed a vicious finger at Arika, although his tone was calm, smooth…dangerously so.
"Oh, there is no hold up at all, just Arika over here trying to interrogate me. Why don't you move out of the way so the people can get through? I'm pretty sure it's time someone went and started to prepare lunch, and I'm certain it isn't my turn."
By now, she was steaming, and she really had no idea why. All she knew is that all of her careful groundwork, the rebuilding of a bridge she had never have let get torn down, had been swept away in one fell swoop by a tsunami named Asuna, putting her at odds once more with her son, and she didn't even know how far the damage went…
"I…I never tried to kill-"
"Of course Arika, of course you never tried to kill me. It was an accident, right? The first time, oh, you were cutting peaches while I was watching and your hand slipped, right? The second time, you were trying to open a package in front of me and, ohhh; you used just a bit too much force, hmm…
Ohh! Let's say the third time you forgot you had me in the bath! The forth, hmm, what should I say? Ahh! You conveniently forgot to lift my head when giving me a second pillow, and it wound up on top of my face instead of under me, oops!
How about the time you almost cut off the arm from my foster mother's body, as she tried to stop you from butchering me, oh sorry, I meant that family turkey. You were using the wrong knife Arika…ohh dear. Ahh, and all those times you screamed at night, at the top of your lungs, to shut me up, or the times you would mar your fridge with words of hate, that wasn't about me…it was a story you where writing, yes? So creative you are!"
She took a step back, accidentally tripping over Nagi's foot and winding up in his arms, pressed against him. That didn't have her attention at all however. No, her ears were the only part of her that was working right now, and they were being shot down. Stunned. How much had she told him about that?
That… that was…all these old demons, dark days, coming back to haunt her, and yet, Negi was never one to leave things half done. Never. Now that he had started, he continued, spilling out all he knew, things hidden in his mind, things Asuna had not even shown him, but hidden there, just for him to see, when he cared to know…
"Ahh, the amount of cursing you pulled off, I see where I got my tongue from! You literally built a plan in your head, no? Since you couldn't kill me, after trying several times, you'd go off and try to find Nagi, leaving me to Nagi's sister, but ahh, that's not the whole story, is it?
Who was it Arika? Who was it that left the note? Who was it that whispered to the darkness that Nagi's son and his wife lived here, hoping, praying that while you lived here, demons, dark foes of Nagi, would rage the village. You figured Nagi would come to save you, no? Ah ha, ah ha! I see your eyes now! You!
While you lived in that village, plagued by rage, you sent those rumors spreading about, hoping that, if attacked, Nagi would come! Yet you grew impatient when nothing happened, and you up and left the village you had doomed! You left me there too, to die with them all! You…you killed them, all of them!"
His voice had finally broken from that whisper into a strangled yell as he blurted out what seemed to be blasphemy. Nagi took a step forward, and so too did Rakkan, but Nagi was quicker, appearing right next to Negi, his knee coming up to hit him in the gut, but Negi was too quick for him. He teleported to his back and grabbed his left foot, literally lifting him off his feet and tossing him to slam against a wall, hard.
"You too, yah sick b*stard! I know who actually f*cked my mother, you piece of…oh don't even let me start! You…I don't even know what to call you, you're just a dude whose DNA is a part of me, but you ain't my father. Shit, I don't even know if I can be qualified to say I have one. I'm made up of human DNA and magic; I'm a fricken test tube monster!
Not only that, but would you love me to tell your friends just how you got all that power of yours? Would you like to see their faces as they discover how weak you are, why my pain spell affected you so much, just how hard they worked compared to you? No? I thought not. You're silent now, aren't you?"
Indeed, Nagi had slipped from the wall unto on knee, and he was gritting his teeth. He didn't say a word, knowing full well what the boy was referring too. He swallowed, painfully. Demons, old demons, brought to bear, just like a criminal who, twenty years after committing a murder, is caught and brought to trial, the evidence final, the judgment passed. It matters not how old the crime, not to the law. You still must pay, and pay in full you will. Still, Negi's voice calmed as he brought back his control. He took a deep breath before, seeing Chisame, shoved her laptop in her arms, perhaps a bit more carefully than he wanted too.
"You...I don't even have a curse word severe enough to describe what I feel right now, the word Negi should become the newest and more offensive swear in the world, for it would describe all the shit and hate in my whole, damn, short, life. Yet, I don't blame you, I've cleansed my soul, in this very room, and I'll leave you all to clean your own. I've said it once; I'll say it again...
No one can ultimately predict the future, and even divination is simply a guide, a warning, of what can and could happen. I blame no one for the result of their actions here, for they could not have known, and I would hope that, when they made the decisions that brought forth the effects I see, they were choosing the best option available to them at the time, and thus the cause matches the effect justly…good day."
Spinning on his heel, Negi left the room, taking with him nothing; leaving behind him in his wake a train wreck of emotion, past demons, shattered faith and, finally, truth. Nagi stood full up, brushing himself off and walking to Arika, who was shaking.
She spun around to find Asuna, whom she knew had come up behind her, but, Alas, her sister had vanished, gone at the same time Negi had spun, hiding a secret, knowing smile. Arika could hear peals of untamed laughter somewhere down the hall, but Nagi held her tight, and she quite suddenly found that her body had been stripped of the energy to give chase. So this was revenge then, hmm? How far will you go...Asuna?
"Uhh…whose turn it is to cook? I'm getting kinda hungry here."
How…the…hell…could Rakkan still be thinking about food? Didn't he see, anything of what just happened?
"Revenge, after all, is a dish best served cold...ice cold, straight from the fridge. When it's ready, you put on your suit, Sunday best, and pop that sucker outta the fridge...enjoy..."
+-1-+
"Alma. Please. I am not your master."
"I am sorry, Master."
"Damnit Alma, I'm not worth being anyone's f*cking master!"
Negi grasped his head, pushing back his hair as Alma, slightly sheepish, simply repeated the line. You would think, that after so long, either Alma would crack or Negi would learn, but neither would happen it seemed. Negi looked up at the late midday sky. Taking a deep breath of the air, he marveled at the fact it was all illusion. Just like him.
Life can be so cruel, and beautiful, all at once, but for one like me, I don't deserve the wonder it grants mine eyes, day by precious day. We see such wonder every which way, but we let it slip by, leaves upon the wind of flowing times... Life's stress robs us blind, drives us mad, takes our love and dashes it like sand...the hell am I doing? Poetry? F*cking insane, that's what I am. Insane. I can't look at a flipping sunset without breaking out the melodrama and singing the sad song.
Oh, it didn't matter what one told him, he was fully well convinced now that he didn't meet the requirements to be called a real boy. He was Pinocchio, minus the happy ending. A puppet to be controlled, used, and then, when finally broken, discarded to the winds, burnt, ashes the only grace that remains. Licking his lips to rid them of that annoying dry feeling, he looked sidelong at Alma. She saw herself as a tool too. Only problem was that she was wrong. She was a human and a real, solid person at that...
"Alma. Do you see yourself as a tool? You do, don't you?"
She said nothing, but her eyes, the same color of his own, were trained on him. She was listening. He indicated the area next to him on the balcony he stood upon, looking over the low railing. She joined him quickly, obediently, but his hand slowed her motion. It wasn't an order, his eyes claimed, it was a request. Everything he told her was a request. He had long laid that rule. She did not have to obey, and he made a point of claiming he would like her to refuse some of his "commands".
She refused to listen to that one, which kind of exasperated him, but at the same time made him smile. You see, she was already disobeying orders, even if the order was for her to behave normally. Each time she called him master, she disobeyed an order too, which confused her, and for about a week, she had not said anything at all, afraid of disobeying orders and conflicting traditional training.
"You should not think of yourself that way... You are a person, with your own ideals, dreams, hopes, life. No matter how long the life, or how much you feel the need to be under another, you are your own individual. I am no one's master Alma. I am a teacher, and a tool. A true tool. You are human but I am...I suppose you could call me a doll. I am just like that wand Anya has. My only purpose is to direct and store magic. I create it too. Just an engine, with a bomb attached. I can only get hot enough to blow up, you know?"
She didn't quite understand his point, so she stayed silent, but she knew, from magical study, what a catalyst was. It was a terrible diagnosis to say the least. Short, painful lives, full of sickness or drama, until they died from disease or killed themselves. In that quite sudden moment, she was afraid. This master...was very different from the others, besides the want for her not to call him master.
"I asked you this once before, but I want you to really think about the answer this time. What do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to be?"
"I…do not know."
"That is the perfect answer."
Confused, she looked at him, to see his bangs fly back in a gust of wind. His face was completely free of guile, and he seemed genuinely happy with her answer, although she had no idea why. He told her though, and she was surprised with his response.
"It means you are thinking, and that you truly know you can't see into the future. You aren't resigned to your "fate" in life, you have no sure destiny. Your path is thus yours to choose. Not knowing where you will end up is the first step to admitting that you know nothing about where you are going after all, and… that you are free to go wherever life might take you."
He had a spark, a personality, a way with his words. He was a powerful mage, a being with a clever wit and an agile mind. Tactician and solider all in one, with the heart to teach and the strength to lead. She had heard a saying, a while ago, that reflected him, that good men always seemed to be the first to die…
"I…"
"You don't need to think. With what you just said, you admitted what you already knew, deep inside, that you are the slave of no one. I was never your master, but you chose to call me that out of your own free will. The very fact you disobeyed the order not to call me it means that."
What? No! Yet it was true. She did disobey many direct commands, but she had considered them conflicting with her training, and had thus ignored him, no she followed all of her proper training, if her master was unconventional, some conflicts would be obvious, but she had to let those go and focus on her code, her job, and that meant disobeying some orders...right?
"W-what..but...wait…master…no…"
"No what? I never said you were part of my employ, so nothing changes. I release you from your services, if that's what you want me to say, but you never were bound to me, not in truth, and you know that. It's your choice to do what you wish now."
"M-master?"
Including calling him master, including following him around all the time, including all of it, she could still do, but it would be her choice. It had always been her choice. Now he showed her, her simple stubbornness to stick to tradition had blinded her to the very fact that she wasn't following orders, wasn't following the tradition.
Slaves don't have to call their master "Master"; it was a preference after all... Slaves did not have to follow their master all over the place either… that too, was a preference. Slaves had to, however, follow every order, every command, not the ones that they thought were appropriate. If she had been in any traditional community, she would have been hanged for her impertinence.
She stuck to him because she found that, after years of having one, and being starved of that security from her ordeal, she needed that security, unconsciously, again. She had needed to have a master to follow around, and who she could follow, so she didn't have to think, about the past, about anything.
Again, he had proved himself above normal, breaking through her and shafting light. For once, perhaps the first time in years, decades maybe, she hesitantly allowed herself to smile, just before it broke into a full one, which probably had never seen the light of day itself, in centuries... Negi nodded his approval.
"There. That is better. Now you look proper, and now, you can do what you wish."
"I still wish to call you master then."
Negi looked at her, and she let loose another full smile. Damn, look how much that face can change with just a smile on it. He shook his head. Looks like he still managed to lose, didn't he? At first, he had been a bit pissed when she said it, but the smile shook his peeved face away. Damn her and her impertinence, he still couldn't get rid of it, could he?
Ahh what the hell, you can't win them all.
"…Damn. Alright, you win, just don't f*cking over do it, will yah?"
Negi turned back around to look at the sunset, while Alma, allowing her smile to fade slowly, took up her place next to him. Just a little behind, slightly off to the side, a bit below his standing. Perfect. The way the sun looked now, fading down to kiss the last of the horizon goodbye, reminded her of a dandelion, and that, in turn, reminded her of how much she used to love flowers, nature...life. A sad little twitch of the lips, but she had fulfilled her smile quota for the century, thank you, she kept firm.
"Master?"
"Yes Alma?"
"Are there people who just take care of nature, animals, trees...are there people like that here? Once, long ago, there was nothing but farmers, but I loved to see the wild things grow...is it all gone now?"
"No Alma. There are plenty of people who look after nature, and those who cherish it, love to let the wild things grow as they please. I should show you one day, if I ever find the time, if I ever survive."
"...Thank you Master."
As the sun finally gave up its grasp upon the final strip of horizon, and Negi heard quiet, calm footsteps approach, brought about by the swish of a robe, Negi turned to look at Alma, full on and nodded his head. He was ready. His mind was set, and his heart was open, at peace if not pure, it could never be pure anymore, after all.
"You are welcome Alma..."
+-2-+
"It is not necessary to be human to learn the code, but to wield the key and control such an ancient spell such as the one that makes this world, in order to wield the code well enough to find the grand master key...one must be a human Negi Springfield. Your aunt tried to steal a cross from your room, I assume she knew about it before, and perhaps wanted to force my hand, have me teach you before you could be offered your choice...but I have spent years reading eyes to see desire and motivation Negi...it's how I know one is genuine in their faith, or trying to play a farce...
They all sat, Eva, Asuna, Arika, Nagi and Rakkan, quietly. It was a sun room, but now, in the night, the sparse light from a fireplace cast an eerie glow all around. Negi stood, facing Kago, who, form his long dark robes, pulled out a cross Negi was familiar with. The Immortal Rosary. So, Asuna had tried to steal it huh? All at once, his mind jumped forward, formulating reasons, ideas, motive, but Kago stopped thought, simply with his voice.
I caught her with this, and now I know why she puts so much urgency upon teaching you the code. You are a vampire, but with this...with this, you could become a human, can't you? Of course, using it in such a way, in inexperienced hands, would cause it to shatter, and by inexperienced, I mean earthly. I might have, perhaps, been able to use it twice before such an effect, but now? I have no purity in my soul, never had and never will, I only believed I did before. So I present you with the choice, Negi...
It was obvious now, what he was going to say. The answer was the hard part though. What was Negi to say? In all ways, however one looked at it, it was a lose-lose situation. Did he want to just let this world collapse, in all of its importance? Regardless of being fake, it would be an incredible blow to the entire society of mages, not to mention those unaware of their predicament, snuffed out like candles in the high wind.
Will you risk all to save this world? Will you chose to be a human, slowing your reflexes and mind, weakening your body...degrading you potential lifespan...so that you can fully control the code? Knowing full well you might die on this quest, knowing full well that your chances of doing so are somewhere in the ninety nine percent range? Or will you choose to live what remaining joy and peace you have in your life, forgetting all about this...?"
He had to give it all up now, didn't he? That is what Kago was telling him now. He held the item high, an item he had ripped from Asuna's hands. Where she had found it, only God knows, but Kago knew it belonged to Negi, and he knew that the boy could not hold it, no longer could he hold something like this, no vampire could, or should, be able to hold it at least. Kago had paused to look at Eva when he claimed "degrading your lifespan."
Negi knew what he had meant with that look...
The priest held it still, by what power, Negi didn't know, for it had glowed brightly upon his touch in that dark cave, that hell hole, he had found it in. Now it was plain, quiet, a shining piece of what seemed to be white silver, adorned with designs and simple, large gems. Asuna was the one who did not look happy now, for the boy had blurted out the secret now, of all times, when he was most uncertain, when the boy was most likely to want peace, solidity.
"My choice huh?"
"Yes. No one else's. yours. No one can blame you either way."
It was a time like this, as Kago well knew, that Negi would want to abort the project the most. A time like this, amongst all the pain, that he would want to just forget it all and run away. Here and now, Kago knew that Negi would not be forced into doing anything. Asuna had planned to train him, to wait while Negi discovered the power the code could give, hiding certain lessons, certain words, until she was sure he wanted more, and then tell him, when he was most likely to want, to say yes...was Kago tactless?
No, not tactless, he was stupidly trying to prove some kind of honor. The world needed a savior, and by god, Negi was the only one truly fit for the job. Kago the immortal fool, stealing Rakkan's title for idiocy in one smooth blow, was giving Negi a choice instead of a commandment. At the time when his answer was seventy five percent of more likely to be the one Asuna did not want to hear.
Negi however, smiled, seeing her face. The boy was sharper than any knife, and he saw through this all. The face she had stolen the rosary, trying to force Kago to go her way, only to get caught by Kago himself, was the best possible scenario or this, he swore. Irony is a b*tch, they do say, or if not, they should. Yet, his smile faded. He was faced with a choice here.
He looked to Eva, seeing her face stock still, stone. She wasn't going to say or do anything to encourage or discourage his decision, yet Negi knew, having become a true meter for her emotions, just how much control that took, and how much turmoil was going through her right now. Just how much restraint. Irony really was a b*tch.
Sending him in there as a human was the only way he could wrestle that Master Key from Fate and destroy him. It was the only way he could use all that magic to find the Grand Master Key and rework the world, completely breaking it apart to rebuild it from scratch, and yet, sending him in there as a human was suicide.
True and utter suicide. Damn. His heart, for whatever it was worth, beat like hell. It wanted out, that was how hard it was beating. It wanted to beat right out of him and go splat on the floor, and for what kind of life it was seeing, who could blame the muscle? Negi took in a breath, painfully, for there was a tension in his chest, not from nerves, he just ached.
This should be easy, just forget about it all, you've been through enough, seen enough, just blow them all off and walk away. It's easy. Why am I making it difficult for myself? There is no way I can win. None. If I give up, I can go back to peace, this world isn't my responsibility, I can just leave it to let it rot, it won't disintegrate for probably decades anyway...and Fate can't do jack without the Grand Master Key...
Yet, even with this assurance of knowledge from what Asuna had gave him, he was hesitant. He had to do it, not because no one else would, not because he knew Fate would destroy this world and the next if he didn't stop him, but because...he had promised. He had promised Eva among all the others, that he would do it. Forget about telling Asuna, he didn't care about that. He kept promises.
To those of whom great power is given...
He wanted to do it. He shot forth, faster than Kago had even seen him do, faster than he could react, and grabbed the cross, screaming unbidden as it touched his skin, burning, blistering, seeming to melt away his hand as he held it high, clasping the other over the searing object, calling forth magic, quickly, eagerly, light consuming him, and all the vision of those present.
...so too, is a great responsibility.
Light. It faded away slowly, alighting upon the smile Asuna had on her face. Maybe the priest wasn't such a dolt after all. Give him a choice and not only does the boy praise you for not forcing him into anything, he still chooses the option you wanted him too anyway. Perhaps he's as sly as she was...maybe more. Who knew? Maybe holy men were slippery b*stards too...
Upon the floor, Negi lay, face down, and Eva knew, even if his look had not changed one bit, that he was no longer one of her own. In his hands, the cross shattered, just as she was certain his own heart had… and perhaps hers too, she hadn't known it was still there. His eyes, still open, said it all. Life well and truly...sucked b*lls. Yet, time robbed him of his mind, as he fell into a dreamless sleep, out like a light.
+-E-+
Gah ha ha...well, I have my work to do, speaking of which I ran into an interesting review, after wistfully wondering where my reviewers had gone, it made me wonder...does anyone else agree with this? This was given on chapter fifty one.
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