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Old 2013-06-20, 03:21   Link #31
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 60
Quote:
i hope my writing style and this story has been pleasing you, i am still trying to improve on my writing and grammatical mistakes.
i think the length of the chapter has been getting bigger, but the content has been growing as well
Definitely getting better and at this point - even if the grammar is off the storyflow and dialog is very readable. You're consistent in how you apply grammatical construction and that helps tremendously even if it is non-standard.

yeah, chapter length will probably keep increasing just naturally. My first pack of chapter releases, I struggled to create more than 10 or 15 pages. Now it's rare I don't hit 30 even in rough draft.

Most important, I'm enjoying the story. I don't have to guess who's talking. When they talk, they're making sense and referencing things that are made clear by context or earlier description.

There is some minor verbal static easily fixed in second or third draft fixes. One example:
Quote:
Then when half of the city was poisoned by this, and the city turned against me, then i hired a couple of Mages from the Dragon nest
The first comma and the second "then", remove them and the sentence reads more cleanly.

Then when half of the city was poisoned by this and they turned against me, I hired mages from the Dragon Nest to ...

I'll often read my dialog out loud to see if it sounds awkward, missed a word, etc.
OTOH, I most often spot errors the instant after I hit the post button
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