Ok, we've got plenty of unconventional, extremely capable Nanoha protagonists by now. What we need, therefore, are some antagonists ala Fate from season 1, for our protagonists to interact with.
So I made one.
And then I read back through what I'd made, looked in the mirror, and told the guy staring at me, "...Man, you are MESSED. UP."
Spoiler for I can't believe this came out of my imagination...:
Name: Shizuko (no family name)
Gender: Female
Current Age: 15
Height: 5'4" (as of age 13)
Weight: 86 lbs (as of age 13)
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Black
Rank (Mage): C (as of age 13)
Magic type: Neo-Velkan
Previous Affiliation: TSAB Armed Forces, 2nd Regiment
Previous Rank (Organizational):: Cadet
Current Location: Unkown
Current Affiliation: Unknown
Current Status: AWOL
Background: Shizuko was born on one of the core worlds. Left at an orphanage shortly after birth, she produced unremarkable grades in school until her possession of a Linker Core was diagnosed at age 10. She enrolled in the Cadet Training program at age 11. She was regarded as an cadet of average potential with no disciplinary problems, though a low level of self-esteem and an unusually high level of performance anxiety was noted by Instructor Takamachi Nanoha early in year 73.
In June of year 73, during a combat training session, Cadet Shizuko suffered self-inflicted injuries due to the use of an unauthorized device. Subsequent evaluation resulted in Shizuko being removed from the Cadet program and being placed into psychiatric care. She escaped confinement three days later and, as of April year 75, remains at large.
Personality: Shizuko was regarded as shy and reticent by the majority of personnel who had significant contact with her, while displaying a tendency to avoid social confrontation, generally by assuming fault in all such situations. A target of more frequent than average hazing by her peers, this may have exacerbated her preconcieved notions regarding her own worth. She was noted for being simultaneously encouraging of others while still being overly preoccupied by any real or perceived shortcomings in herself. It was specifically noted during the interrogation of Shizuko immediately upon her regaining consciousness following the incident, that her attitude at learning about the effects of the device were what Instructor Takamachi described as "joyful" in spite of - or potentially because of - the injuries she sustained.
The psychological evaluations performed during Shizuko's entrance examination failed to reveal the existance or extremety of self-hatred that led to the training incident. The fact that Shizuko chose such a dangerous method of increasing her magical power in spite of having access to safer methods, such as the Velka-style cartridge system, is cited as proof of these conclusions.
Post-incident evaluation of her actions suggest Shizuko possesses a considerable fear of failure, as well as a strong passion to protect others. The psychological pressure of these factors, when combined with her own devalued sense of worth, is believed to be responsible for the mental breakdown that led to the decision to pursue the construction of such a dangerous device.
The probability that Shizuko would intentionally take actions that might result in casualties to innocents is believed to be low. However, the exact nature any further progression of her instability might take cannot be predicted with any degree of confidence.
Armament: Shizuko's primary device at the time of the incident was a standard-issue, Velka-type training spear. This device was critically damaged during the incident, as a result of being force-fed more energy than it was rated for.
Her second device was invented by Shizuko herself and its existance had been successfully concealed from Bureau personnel until its first activation. A non-intelligent, single-function unit, this unnamed apperatus was embedded in a chestpiece slim enough to be concealed under the wielder's clothes.
The unauthorized apperatus was designed to forcibly extract potential sources of non-magical energy - including, but not limited to, electrical energy from the central nervous system, caloric energy from fat cells, and nuclear energy from the molecules making up the body's cellular structure - from the wearer's body and convert it to a form that is compatible with the output of a mage's Linker Core. While the exact efficiency of this conversion process is unknown and depends upon how much energy is initially extracted from the target, the resulting increase in output observed during the training incident was roughly comparable to that produced by two standard Velka-style cartridges. These results were achieved with the apperatus performing at what was later determined to be approximately 30% of its maximum capacity.
The consequences resulting from the operation of this device are extreme. Cadet Shizuko went into cardiac arrest immediately following the dispatching of the third of three combat drones. The cadet's appearance, as described by the first instructor to reach her after her collapse, was "emaciated, with her mouth frozen open in a distended scream of agony", which suggests the extraction process is highly painful. Medical examination revealed high levels of strain to all internal organs, cellular-level damage, internal bleeding, and a severe reduction in the stored fat within Shizuko's body.
Analysis of the confiscated apperatus and its operating principles suggest that the energy requirements of the extraction process increase logrithmically with distance from the intended target. This, and the effectiveness of standard mage barriers against the technique, leads to the conclusion that any attempt to create an effective offensive weapon based on the same principles would be impractical. However, the potential for misuse - specifically, the possibility of using non-mages, willing or otherwise, as expendable sources of mage energy - has led the TSAB to declare this an illegal technology.
The TSAB is currently in possession of both devices. However, Shizuko has demonstrated the ability to construct both standard Velka devices and the confiscated apperatus, given access to the necessary components.
Recommendations: Since the incident, revisions have been made to psychological evaluation practices for both the recruitment process and the ongoing observation process used during cadet training, to better facilitate early detection and treatment of similar problems in current and future personnel. Lines of access to the supplies necessary for a cadet to engage in the construction of any device have been reevaluated and restricted, and the regulations governing the development and use of non-standard devices by personnel in the Cadet program have been updated.
Shizuko is considered to be mentally ill and a danger to herself, as well as to others (albeit indirectly). If encountered by Bureau personnel, she is to be taken into custody immediately.
Consider this character, or any part of her concept, open for use by all.
Now, as far as meeting the forum rules about commenting on other peoples' characters:
Kha, it shows you put a lot of time and thought into those characters. Having said that, with the number and level of abilities you put into der Kleriker, I may have to start referring to you as Gah! instead of Kha. :P Definately an alternate universe character, though, with all the non-canon revisions to Fate's backstory. (Nothing wrong with that!) VERY nice detail in the visual descriptions.
Enigma, love the concept. I've been expecting someone to look at how the Wolkenritter might have to face up to their past sins, and it looks like you're version has a lot of potential.
USB500, just one question: where does Leonidas' stand on the views expressed by this board's 300?