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On August 31st, I enrolled in the army, as everyone in my country is obliged to do at some point in their lives. First week in, the boots had started hurting my feet, so I went to the doctor and he said, "as long as you don't have external injuries, you're fine, you'll get used to it".
Second week was marching week, so my heel was slightly torn open; dropped by the doctor again to get a bandage on it, he insisted that I'd have gotten used to it by the time the wound closed up. After taking the oath, I was given 4 days off, out of which I spent two in bed, recovering.
Last week, the armed services opened up: standing guard, patrolling, etc. became all we would do, from dawn to dawn. Naturally, I collapsed after serving 6 numbers in 5 days (each number being 6 hours plus the time it takes for the next shift to change you, in my case being an extra 3 hours per day). Back to the doctor I went, and instead of giving me a day or two free of service, or at least sending me to the hospital to an orthopedic, he prompted me to the camp's psychologist, who suggested giving me a suspense of service (that is, my 9 months of service), which I told him I'd accept only as a last resort.
So, he gave me till afternoon to decide, and I told him I didn't want to leave and come back in 6 months, because that would mean 3 extra months of service, provided the new bills apply from Jan 1st 2012. Despite my decision, I was handed not one but two referrals to a psychiatrist...who decided I cannot serve any longer and gave me a year away, despite my will.
Now, I won't lie, I cried in the army, and I felt alone, I was told (and at one point believed) that soldiers stop being humans the second they set foot in camp, and my morale had shattered by last Sunday. Still, I don't believe this means I suffer from some kind of serious form of depression, or that my pain is a psychosomatic reaction to the concept of the army...more like, I was dead tired after getting a proper meal once every two and a half days, and spending three days with five hours of sleep. Even though I mentioned all of the above, I was still sent home. Am I right to question their decisions, am I really just being pushed back at their whim, or was the psychiatrist right to send me home and ask me to see an expert outside of camp?
One thing I know is, I won't be talking to a psychologist ever again :S
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