Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleofive
Thank you very much for your concrit, but I'm not quite sure what you meant about the sentences - that they're too long, or wordy? I'm not the best at dialogue, so any advice there is very welcomed!
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I think the dialogue is fine the way it is.
What I meant is dialogue is best left as it is, or to stand alone with a speech tag (e.g "Let's go," she said.) In your case you describe dialogue & action together, which I felt clutters the flow of your story.