Before-Class Ritual
[IF TotallyIgnored=True THEN]
"I expected to hear a “You’re late” from Haruhi, as per our usual greeting, but when I sat down, she simply looked out the window with a ‘hmmph’."
"…Why is she upset again? I feel a strong sense of déjà vu…"
"...Oh right, this happens every day."
"…I suppose I should make some effort to cheer her up. I can’t just leave her like this, or Koizumi will start nagging me about confusing things."
"That’s my only reason why I dare talk to Suzumiya Haruhi.. Understandable, right?"
Kyon: "Hey, I found a real mystery this morning!"
Haruhi: "...Hmmph."
"That didn’t work. Let’s try another approach."
Kyon: "...Have you ever heard of anything or anyone that would drop off food in a fridge instead of stealing it?
Haruhi: "…Hmmph."
"Even describing something that weird and mysterious didn’t work! She must be really, really upset."
Kyon: "...Your hair looks nice today?"
"Of course, I didn’t actually say that. I’m scared of the consequences."
"Whatever. If she’s going to ignore me I’ll just do the same to her."
"And, so, until around lunchtime, the day proceeded in such a fashion..."
*KSSSSSSH*
[IF TotallyIgnored=False THEN]
Haruhi: "You’re la—"
Kyon: "I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me."
"Sorry to interrupt our usual ritual, but I’m sick of hearing that right now."
"It didn't work. As though I hadn't interrupted, Haruhi began finding faults with my behavior."
"Is all you do complain!? Seriously. Besides, I’m not late; we still have eight minutes until class starts."
Haruhi: "Kyon! Are you listening?"
"Oh, here we go."
Haruhi: "It’s very important for all brigade members to try hard and become model students! Being on time for class is part - of - that!"
"Model student…? Have you looked at your own behavior recently?"
Haruhi: "If one brigade member is a failure, it reflects badly on the brigade as a whole, which in turn reflects badly on the brigade chief. Right?"
"And of course you don’t want to look bad."
Haruhi: "And you know I don’t like to look bad!"
"...She admitted it!"
Haruhi: "So, from now on, I’m going to impose a strict training regimen that will-"
"I don’t have to listen to her try to butt into my personal life. Still, I should stop this before she spends every chance she gets all day going on about it."
"...Hmm..."
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Change the subject.
2) Ignore her and get ready for class.
Do Not Feed After Midnight
Kyon: "...Haruhi."
Haruhi: "What? I’m still in the middle of lecturing you."
Kyon: "…Have you ever heard of anyone that would come into a house, leave a whole bunch of food in a fridge, and take nothing in return?"
Haruhi: "…?" "…Hmm." "...Sounds like fridge gremlins."
"...Fridge..."
"...Gremlins?"
Haruhi: "Their entire purpose in life is to raid the fridges of the rich and give the food they find to the poor. Wait, don’t tell me you have an infestation of fridge gremlins!?"
"I’ve never heard anything like this before. I’m positive she made it up, but I’ll play along for now."
Kyon: "…How exactly do I tell if I have an infestation?"
Haruhi: "Well, for starters, how much do your parents make?"
"Like I’d tell you!"
Haruhi: "I guess the simplest way to go about it would be to go to your house to check… ah, that’s right! That can be our next brigade activity!"
"Oh no, not my house again. Think fast!"
Kyon: "Uh, this week isn’t really good for me… I have, uh, relatives over."
Haruhi: "We can go this weekend then!"
Kyon: "…Isn’t everyone busy this weekend?"
"Haruhi slumps onto her desk. Looks like she forgot already."
Haruhi: "Ah, that’s right... Well, we can do it next weekend... Unless you have more relatives over?"
"She gives me what might be described as 'a look'. Might as well just give in."
Kyon: "…Sure, I’m fine with it."
Haruhi: "Alright! I’ll get those fridge gremlins for sure! Just leave it to me!"
"I don’t look forward to it. …Hey, wait."
"These things are beneficial! Why would you want to get rid of them!?"
"Well, at least she seems more cheerful now. Hooray, I've probably saved the world again."
"At about this time, Okabe, our homeroom teacher, came into the classroom."
"And so, the world continued to spin safely in the correct direction, up until lunchtime..."
*KSSSSSSH*
Barrage of Disparage
"I turn away and start unpacking my bag."
"First period after homeroom is English, English…"
Haruhi: "Hey! Kyon! Are you even listening!?"
Kyon: "Nope."
Haruhi: "Wha- ?! Y-y-you’re a hundred years too early to be talking to the SOS Brigade Chief like that! W-Why, someone of common birth like you has no right to even speak to me without my permission! Hear that? All you deserve to do is listen!"
"…and so on, and so forth, until Okabe, our homeroom teacher, entered the room and class began, at which point Haruhi was made to shut up."
Of course, from every break then on until lunchtime, Haruhi made sure to continue disparaging me. I'm pretty sure I could hear her constant muttering during class, too."
"I guess I did the wrong thing…? Too late now..."
*KSSSSSSH*