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Old 2008-10-21, 12:46   Link #17563
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: フェイトの中

Oh, dokupan, did you want more PLUM doujins? I think the only ones I didn't send you are Magical SEED No.Due, Magical SEED Galaxy, Magical SEED BIND, Magical SEED, and Magical SEED A2, so I'm not sure which ones you don't have.... Is it safe for me to assume you have Magical SEED OTHER as well?

And we kind of sort of did three doujins - Lyrical Waha, Master, and I'm totally counting all those eggs as an entire entity.

So, I'm a paranoid procrastinating perfectionist, eh?

Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Pervy Nanoha perving Teana in a lovely display of Nanoha/Teana?

Translation and source please!
Magical SEED FREEDOM by PLUM. Non-h, don't worry, don't worry...

Originally Posted by Ararara-ra View Post
Please let me know where the mistakes are so I make improvements for the HQ release
I'm not sure about other people, but I'm quite used to having sentences ending with a period, if not some other form of punctuation. >_>;

Being consistent is key. Another thing I just realized as I'm reading through, there are.... little to no contractions. I know when you're formally writing, you don't use contractions, but when we're talking about people speaking....

For example, on page eleven, someone is saying "IT... IT IS... !!!" It would flow a lot better if it was "IT'S... !!!" Besides, who'd say an extra word or syllable or something when you're seeing the White Devil who looks like she'll Starlight Breaker your rump?

Spoiler for Possible mistakes:

Someone should proofread my own "proofreading". I'm kind of a comma-holic. That, and I've only completed grade ten English, lol....

dlbdsfgadfsga;f I don't know why I'm bothering. A lot of the sentences just sound weird and I don't know enough Japanese to try and help re-phrase anything. Pretty much everything else just seems to be you missing a comma somewhere, with the odd spelling mistake and subject verb disagreeing. And stuff. Bleh.


Last edited by Bananoha; 2008-10-21 at 13:49.
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