It was raining.
Vivio stood outside in it, staring up at the rain. She couldn't...
feel it, no matter how hard she was trying. Feeling the rain was... impossible. Feeling anything was impossible, right now. Her lower lip quivered as she looked up into the rain, her eyes were wet with her tears, and she felt about ready to break down and cry. Nothing was the same, she thought.
Nothing.
Nanoha was... gone. She wasn't dead, but she was gone. They had duped her, deceived her, into making Vivio think she was still around, but that was just a decoy, an illusion, a perfect dream in an imperfect world. And for the briefest of moments, Vivio had allowed herself to feel happy, to feel complete in her home. It was the biggest mistake she ever made, she decided, and now...
Vivio sat down hard on the sidewalk, bowing her head. Long blonde hair cascaded down around her head as she forced her eyes to shut and covered her ears with her hands. Shivering, the girl tightened up into a ball, rocking back and forth slowly. All she could think, could feel, the emotional, mental, physical scars. Her heart hurt so much, she felt like it was going to rip apart at any moment, ending its own suffering and her own. She wanted to find a small place, far away from everything and anyone, trying to forget, forget everything. Forget life. She wanted to die. Nothing could hurt more yet give her such sweet release and that right now.
The rain mimicked her feelings. As if it wanted to just end it now, it started to rain harder, as if to get it all out. The pressure from the rain pushed on her it seemed, causing her to curl up more and more, hiding the sound of her sobs as she finally let the dam break, her own rain joining that of the sky above.
Behind her, a second person walked out of the open door, her arms in her pockets as she walked up to the girl in front of her. She stopped beside Vivio, looking down at the blonde with a disheartened look on her face. She reached down slowly, as if to touch her, but felt that she couldn't do just that. Taking off her jacket, she draped it around Vivio's shivering, crying shoulders before she herself sat down. Two sad eyes looked at the blonde, as if unsure what to say. But what
could she say? Perhaps, really, it was better to say nothing at all.
Syn looked away briefly, staring up at the downpour as it threatened to drown the two girls. Vivio wasn't going to move, and her slowly increasing sobs of tormented pain did little to drown out the cacophony of glistening raindrops as they hit whatever was below them, ending their brief lives in a splash of water. Syn put an arm around the girl slowly, around the shoulders, and said nothing. Her heart hurt as well, hurting for Vivio as she let out her own emotional discord, as tears freely flowed down her face.
"Vivio..." Syn whispered softly. She opened her mouth to speak again, but found no words of comfort there. There was nothing that she could say now, not after this grandiose spectacle of disaster that the gods had thrust down upon the young girl, as if Heaven itself was mocking her existence. As if everything just wanted her to die... or maybe wanted her to live, just so she could suffer more. Maybe that was it; a twist of fate. A twist of cruel, malicious fate.
Silence as Vivio continued to cry, unable to do anything else. Syn pulled Vivio closer, letting the girl lean on her as she continued to suffer.
No one should suffer this much. Syn thought as she felt her own tears start.
No one. Why does this happen to her? Only her? Isn't there someone else they can put this on?! I don't understand! Why her?! Why does it have to always be her?! Why can't she have a life of her own?!
Syn blinked away tears as she placed a hand on Vivio's shoulder, pulling her closer in an awkward embrace as Vivio's tears began to subside and, slowly, as Vivio spoke.
"I... I..." Vivio sobbed. "I just wanted... happiness. I thought, thought I had it here. I can't even get that, Syn... why does this always happen to me? All I've had in my life is you, and I'm so afraid of what will happen next that... that I feel like I'm going to lose you too!" Vivio let out another sob.
"For so long, I just tried to be someone... someone normal. I just wanted someone to recognize me for who I was! I wanted... I wanted an ordinary life, not this screwed up thing I have! I want to hate it all, hate everything," another sob. "I want to hate you so much it hurts, but I can't because at the same time I don't want to lose you... I..."
Syn closed her eyes as Vivio cried harder suddenly. "I want my mama... I want her back... I want to see her again! Syn, why can't I?! Why can't I see her anymore?! I don't understand! I want mama back..."
Syn couldn't speak as Vivio's sobs enveloped the two. Syn held the broken girl, held her the best she could, wishing that, somehow, she could be Vivio's heaven, take her somewhere far from here, far from all this misery. She wanted to help Vivio so much, but she couldn't. She was trapped in here with Vivio. Trapped in this downward spiral. Trapped because she refused to leave Vivio's side.
"Syn..." Vivio whispered through tears. "I... don't leave me, okay? Don't leave me, please don't leave me, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be scared anymore. I can't hate you, can't do it because if I'm alone, I'll die! Even though I want to end this so much, but I can't! Syn, please, help me make it go away!"
"I will," Syn promised hoarsely. "I swear... I will. I'll never leave you. I'll be here for you, Vivio. Always."
The words cut deep into Vivio's heart, hurting her at the same time they comforted her. Vivio relented into Syn's grip, letting go of her ears and throwing her arms around Syn, crying uncontrollably, saying to her over and over again, "Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me."
"I'll never leave you," Syn repeated to her, stroking Vivio's hair slowly. "I love you too much for that."
More tears came. More tears to mix with the rain.
The unrelenting rain.
...and I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand,
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am...