“So, let me get this straight,” Burgundy Broadside guffawed, rattling the grenades dangling from his belt as he did.
Burgundy. Red. Shooter. Gold Cub noted as he continued to overhear the conversation from behind screens of newbie help threads some avatar pages were hosting. He was reading up on colors and their significance on one screen, and user reports about the attributes of the many battle stages. The scenery around them had changed to, to a much more lush rainforest with trees the size of mountains: the Emerald Glade zone. Cub reminded himself that this was a viewing gallery, the instanced part of Accel World shared with other players when lingering within a local area network, then kept on speed reading.
“You, the great Maya Butcher,” the speaker of broad maroon girth continued. “Challenged a random scrub, then died 2s in because he threw a rock at your face?!”
The hulking avatar scoffed at a diminutive blue female sulking on top of a wrecked tree stump.
Maya. Blue. Close-combat. Overconfident.
“He just got lucky!!” Maya raged at him, gunsword raised. “I can’t fly, and he was on a damn roof! I had to jump up there!”
“And then... You fell.”
Burgundy's reply was loaded with as many stings as his cannons were.
“Why don’t you try maneuvering mid-air if I shoved you off a cliff, Burgy!!”
Yes, why didn’t you do something about that? That was a thought that crossed Cub’s mind after he tossed a brick into Maya and knocked her trajectory away from the wall. He had merely wanted to give the destructible interactive environment a try when he did that. In another game, there would’ve been an invisible second jump, teleport, or a misuse of the Charge mechanic common to close-combat characters, that would’ve made his attack moot. Maya did neither except tumble all the way into the ground, and losing a full gauge bar of health that resulted in his first fight being an awkward victory. As it turned out from his reading, the rules in Accel World have leaned towards the <<realistic>>, such as one’s base attributes being modified by the chemical element of birth only, and apart from special gauge moves activated by taking damage and enhanced gear one can create or obtain by other means, everything else follows as closely to the Laws of Physics as possible.
A restraint placed on players, Cub thought grimly. Much like the real world...
“Ara, what have we here?”
Cub felt himself being lifted off the ground and swaddled in warm soft arms. Like a tamed pet, he let himself go limp. It was a learned trick; he used to hate getting picked up and glomped randomly, but that was the price of being a plushie. Might as well lean back and enjoy the ride, so to speak.
“He’s so cute!” cooed the voice gently stroking Cub’s ears. “Who’s this little one?”
“A soft toy Burgy picked off the street,” Maya grumbled.
“That 1HKO’d the Butcher,” Broadside added.
“And you then dueled and one-shotted me,” Cub continued, hoping that it would end the conversation sooner. Loud voices weren’t his thing.
“Yes, THAT!” Maya flailed. “Of all people you have to lose to after defeating me!!”
Broadside laughed some more.
“...and the deal is...?” Cub asked.
“Ah, mou! I’m not talking to you again, ever!”
Maya plonked back down, facing the other direction. The six swords hanging off her waist splayed out like an open flower bud as she did so.
“Maya and Broadside have a little rivalry going,” Cub’s cuddler giggled. “That’s how their friendship works.”
“Who’s friends with that big oaf?!” Maya sulked back.
Gold Cub was tending to agree at this point.
Winter Sky just giggled some more.
“I have to give you some credit, Goldy.” Broadside pipped up. “You run pretty damn well. 30s of evading missile and M61 fire is no mean feat.”
That’s an understatement, Cub mused. The moment he had defeated Maya, another challenger was announced, and the next moment the entire bulk of atmosphere around him had burst into flame! He made a mad dash off the hospital as the entire structure gave way under heavy bombardment. His speed and small size ensured that he cleared the empty street and tumbled lightly through the next windowless perch. But Gold Cub didn’t have a break; his ears sensitized by chronic silence picked up the rush of rockets, and he got up and sprinted again. Warheads slammed into the spots mere footsteps behind, so close he could still feel the heat radiating from each aftershock. The concrete too plinked and cracked from the attacker spraying metal slugs at Gold Cub. From the rate of fire and relentlessness, Cub decided his opponent was using some sort of chaingun. Going back to the rules of Accel World, it meant that Burgundy would be rather weighed down, so as long as he could close the distance, he’d have the advantage in melee. With that in mind, the boy ducked and weaved between power tower and water tower, trying to reduce the massive radius he had been cornered into by the ranged character. He had noticed another city building where LoS to Burgundy was blocked. Gold Cub had turned and leapt across the street, only to see smart missiles cobra upwards from below.
The boy mentally noted that Burgy was someone he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with in the near future.
The massive avatar finished his review with a thumbs up.
“You’re gonna grow up to be one mean killing machine.”
“Ah...” Gold Cub nodded slowly.
“Oh by the way, Winter Sky, have you noticed something about that soft toy?”
Cub could hear Burgundy grinning in his voice, and wondered why. Sky promptly turned Cub around, and puzzledly poured over his features. Meanwhile, Gold got an eye-full of white avatar that was somehow wearing a sundress of some sorts. Was it some kind of enhanced gear?
“He’s a lion cub!”
Yes, and the significance of that is...? Gold wondered.
“Who’s a lion cub?” Said another voice as Cub heard the whoosh of an avatar zoning in behind.
“
My Dearie~” Wintry said as she whirled round and thrust out her prize. “We’re talking about this little one, of course.”
Gold Cub was introduced to another massive hulk, this one more muscular <<if that could be described of a mechanical humanoid>> and goldenish-yellow rather than deep red of Burgy’s. He was also tall and broad-chested like the alpha male stereotype this beefcake was, towering a good head or two over Winter Sky. Beside him, Gold Cub looked more like an infant. The avatar was topped off with a menacing fanged visage ringed by a mane of darker plate masking his small rounded ears -- Golden Cub was a leonine avatar, too.
“Golden Cub...?” Gold read off the newcomer’s nameplate.
“Gold Cub...?” Said Golden simultaneously.
There was an awkward silence, then:
“
EEEH?!”
While it wasn’t uncommon to share names with a complete stranger, it always was a bit unnerving when they are <<almost>> exactly the same. Add to that two people with almost nothing to do with each other turning up with a taste for felinoid body shapes when the game has minimal player involvement in avatar customization? Absolute astonishment.
“
Dearie~” Wintry cooed again. “Don’t you have some explaining to do~~?”
The tone of her speech had Gold feel a chill run up his spine. The arms around him also seem to tighten. And rightly so, for Golden Cub’s color was draining out rapidly. Gold wondered if he really should look at Winter's face right now...
“Er, what is it, Dear?”
“This is not
somebody else’s child, right~~?”
“W-Wait a minute!!” Golden Cub waved frantically as he finally got it. “T-This is not what it looks like!!”
“
Oh-ho~?”
Both Cubs heard Burgundy snicker.
“You bastard!” Golden roared as he caught on to the plot. “What are you up to this time?!”
“Oh yeah, Boss,” Broadside replied between chortles. If Cub were in Burgy’s shoes, he’d be wearing a Trollface emote right now.
“You told me to pick him up as a surprise, right?”
“Uuh...” Golden was confused once more.
“
Right?” Burgundy stressed again.
Golden made another late realization as he fumbled for words and exclaimed, “Uh, yes, right! Ah yes! This was surprise, you know, er, we heard of a tiny lion avatar appearing so we went hunting for it.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be raiding bosses now,
Dearie~?”
Winter pressed on with that icy tone, inching closer to Golden. Suddenly, the bigger lion didn’t seem so ferocious.
Indeed, Golden seemed to be getting more desperate.
“It was a surprise, you know... But hey, even if its ruined, got to do it properly...”
With a flash of insight, Golden took Gold out of Winter’s hands and presented the newbie duelist to Winter.
“Happy birthday, Winter!” Golden chirped, while flashing a really goofy <<oh my god I'm so sorry don't kill me>> grin.
I am not an NPC, Cub thought.
Or some cash shop item.
“Oh you remembered!” Winter said, sounding like her earlier self once again. That doom aura seemed to be fading.
Both Cubs could hear Burgy and even Maya mirthing away in the background.
“Y-Yes, of course! How could I ever forget the birthday of my lovely honey buns, eh?"
You definitely
forgot! Gold mentally commented.
“Aw, you shouldn’t have!” Winter wrenched Gold Cub free and squeezed him hard. “He’s sooo cute!!”
Slow down, woman! HP! I’m losing HP!!
The smaller Cub thought helplessly while being rattled about by a Level 6.
“Yahoo! We’re
baaack!”
There was another cluster of sharper-pitched voices bursting in through the portal. Gold couldn’t see who were they, as Winter had him in a riveting death grasp of misplaced love.
“Winter, back already?”
“And just in time too. Look what Cubby got me!”
“Heeeh?! A gold avatar version! Awesome!”
“He’s pretty cute!”
“Can I hold him? Can I? Can I?”
Held down in arms with too much stats, Gold Cub could only look at the oncoming multi-colored flock of clucky avatars from the corner of his eye and digitally scream,
HELP!
<<POOF>>
Suddenly, there was a spinning icon on the floor, marking Gold Cub’s grave and ticking down from 99 until the Level 2 respawned.
“You broke him,” Gold heard someone say. Maybe he should’ve enable a death cam or something.
“Oh my.”
That was from Winter.
“Gold element have excellent special defense, but zero physical mitigation after all.”
Gold sighed. He had learned many new things today, and one of them was glomps from high level characters can be deadly.