Thread: Dating
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Old 2009-10-18, 21:54   Link #1961
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 33
Originally Posted by Shinoto View Post
Honestly, If you think it is all looks. You are doing something way ****ing wrong. Normally the guys with good looks also develop something on the side called confidence...which leads to charm, good sense of humor, fun to be around, and all that jazz. The type of guy who can actually carry on a conversation with a lady without it being awkwardly painful.
I've found a fair bit to disagree with Shinoto's other posts, but he wrote my thoughts out here. How you carry yourself has a great impact on how others perceive you. You can be the hottest guy or girl on the planet, but if you aren't covering the basics - combing your hair, shaving (or at least keeping after hair that others might shave), wearing clothes that are clean and suit you - nobody will be able to see it. Even if you're covering those, the confidence factor still comes into play. Are you slouching? Is your behavior eccentric and confusing to others (in a manner that makes you unapproachable)? Even if you're initially attractive, unattractive behavior or personality will quickly cause people to take a negative opinion of you - and that will in turn influence how they view you physically.

Of course, how a person looks does have something to do with it. Some people are just naturally more attractive than others, and no amount of confidence, makeup, clothes, working out, or wonderful personality will change that. I do not believe that it represents the most important element, though. How you project yourself has much more to do with it.

And lastly, the grounder - you have to recognize that even if you perfect the art of being confident and projecting yourself well to others, not everyone will be attracted to you. It doesn't mean that you're ugly or a terrible person, it just means that one person did not find you attractive. Everyone has a different opinion... don't take it to mean more than it does.
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