A dazzlingly blue sky stretched before me, with just a hint of white clouds to be seen – light, wispy things that reminded me of fine silk. The day was burning bright, fierce almost, and yet I felt no heat. It wasn’t necessary.
I was standing on the bridge again, with my back against the railing, watching the water roll tirelessly before me. Waves as though filled with gems winked at me as they caught and reflected the mid-noon rays, and it all seemed so pretty. I threw my head back to try and coax the sun into caressing my face, but instead noticed gulls overhead flying soundlessly, circling, diving, spiralling, lost in their enthusiasm for freedom. A hint of a smile touched my face. This could be perfection.
I shifted my gaze back down when I noticed small movements out of the corner of my eye. The sight made my heart leap. Two butterflies were slowly, gracefully trailing across the air before me. One an enchanting royal blue and the other a burning crimson; both were mesmerising as they danced around each other while they flew, drawing intricate patterns in the air with their fragile wings.
I stood there totally entranced as they hovered before me, moving in tune with each other. Never hurried, always fleeting the two weaved in and out of each others paths, revolving as though in waltz. It was an embrace without contact. It was a confession without words. It was a love without qualms. I couldn’t help but revel in the joy that issued forth as my cheeks tightened into a full smile. It was perfection.
“…. -chan!”
My head snapped to the right. I knew that voice, with its rich timbre and clear ring. It was a voice which I could pick out even through a crowd, a voice which has been calling my name for as many years as I could count myself alive. It was a voice I would never forget in my life; for it was yours.
Standing on the bridge a short distance away, your cheeks aglow with a flush, eyes shining with delight and your usual winsome smile, you waved dramatically at me. Nothing was different about you, nothing right down to your lop-sided hair and even the length of your skirt. My heart was hammering.
“Na..noha?”
You ran the short distance between us and hugged me. Even your embrace felt the same. It all felt so nostalgic I couldn’t seem to comprehend anything else. The butterflies which were previously so enchanting had disappeared as soon as I turned away, unnoticed and forgotten. The sight of you stunned me, not because there was anything wrong with the image, but exactly because of the normality with which you appeared. It felt right seeing you there, and yet wrong at the same time. My mind was screaming unintelligible words at me.
“Are you ok? You look like a goldfish”. You had pulled back without me even realising it, and faced me with an impish grin but I noticed the slight concern evident in your eyes.
I shook my head. This was totally bewildering.
“No.. I’m just.. mm.. a bit tired maybe.” A pitiful excuse. I’m sure it wouldn’t normally have worked.
A brief searching look. “Mm.. ok then.”
You turned to view the water like I had previously. A look of contemplation crossed your face, and then you started talking again. Talking animatedly like you always did, with your emotions evident upon your face, telling a story of their own in addition to your words. You were smiling again, that same smile which always seemed to calm me, while your words flew over me.
I was totally absorbed looking at your profile as you spoke, watching you with your smile on your face as rays without heat beat down upon us and suddenly I felt at peace. I felt at peace and yet I felt a deep.. sadness. I suddenly started crying. I brought a hand up to cuff at my cheeks only to feel nothing but a smile of my own spread across my face. Odd. Tears were surely flowing out from my heart and yet my face remained dry.
But at that instant I suddenly realised why.
The image before me which seemed so complete took my breath away. Framed against the sky you loved so dearly, hair billowing out behind from a gentle breeze while earnestly talking with your heart in your eyes, smiling that brilliant smile of yours, it was no less beautiful than watching the sun rise. Stirring and powerful, fleeting and intangible, it was perfection with no equal.
Yet despite perfection I was crying. Crying through a small smile of regret because I knew this wouldn’t last. Knew that perfection would soon be lost; for this was all but a dream, and dreams, against all naive wishes, were doomed to fade. And so it did.