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[Passing by Translator Checker appears on the scene.]
Same format like last time.
闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたね。
シグナム達を落としたのは。
Dark Piece Shamal:
It's you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.
It must be you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.
闇の欠片シャマル：
闇の書の部品に過ぎない私たちでも、
仲間って想いはあるの。
Dark Piece Shamal:
We are just parts of the Book of Darkness, but
we consider ourselves comrades.
We may have been just parts of the Book of Darkness, but all of us felt that we were comrades.
闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたはきっと強いんだろうけど、
騎士には退けない戦いもある！
Dark Piece Shamal:
Although you might certainly be strong,
a knight also does not refuse a fight!
Although I'm sure you are certainly very strong,
A knight will not back down from a fight!
闇の欠片シャマル：
仇、取らせてもらいますっ！
Dark Piece Shamal:
Allow me to take revenge!
Let me take vengance on you!
<Version A>
闇の欠片シャマル：
まさか・・・・・・
触れる事も・・・できないなんて・・・・・・。
Dark Piece Shamal:
It can't be......
I wasn't even able... to touch her.......
It can't be....
I wasn't even able...to do anything....
なのは：
平気だよ、
レイジングハート・・・・・・
大丈夫。
Nanoha:
I'm fine,
Raising Heart......
It's okay.
It's alright,
Raising Heart....
I'll be okay.
ユーノ：
今、なのはのすぐ近くに、
巨大な魔力反応を発見した！
Yuuno:
A huge magical reaction was discovered
in the immediate vicinity of Nanoha just now!
Just now, a huge magical reaction was dectected
in the immediate vicinity of where you are!
(Note: From Japanese to English, sometimes when a name is used in conjunction with a 'place' and the person's name is the same as the one that was used. Usually it's better to use just 'you' for that person.)
ユーノ：
闇の書の残滓が
凝縮されたような存在がいるんだ。
Yuuno:
There's a being made up of a
concentration of the Book of Darkness' remains.
A being there made up of a concentration of the Book of Darkness's remenants seems to be there.
Alternative: A presence made up of a concentration of the Book of Darkness's remanent seems to be there.
(Not as suggested as the others, these are just possible other version of the same line.)
なのは：
じゃあ、その子を探して、
眠らせてあげれば・・・事件は解決？
Nanoha:
Then I'll look for that child, and
if I put them to sleep... will this incident be over?
Then if I look for that child and put them to sleep...will this incident be solved?
なのは：
ユーノくんの話、
いつもわかりやすいし、
元気になれるから・・・・・・嬉しい！
Nanoha:
Yuuno-kun's words
are always easy to understand,
and gives me energy...... so I'm glad!
Yuuno-kun's words
are always easy to understand,
and makes me feel better.......so I'm glad!
Hmmm...well I'm not heavily suggesting anything this time. These are just correction/suggestions.
To Password-san: You and me both hate those kind of idiomatic expressions. Though I seem to catch on quickly which one is which. Anyway, there's one further thing I have to warn you about. I believe that Signum, and Zafira, Signum especially are using slightly more archaec Japanese closer to the ones used by samurai. That and I kind figured after listening to Signum's attacks that it has to be.
Signum's attacks like Shiden Issen, Hiryu Issen, Garyu Issen, etc. Her speech pattern all follow this archaec like Japanese. That might also affect how you are trying to translate since most recent translation helpers only do modern Japanese in general. So any further Signum quotes you are going to do might continue to give you problems.
Just a tip from your friendly Passing-by-Translator-Checker. Oh...and a second tip. Japanese is a language where translation will always have a problem because there are phrases or things said that can be taken in the literal sense or an implied sense. The latter I seem to notice recently that some have had trouble getting.
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