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♨（ゝω・）v
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: フェイトの中
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayate22
"The four knight's wish to protect their bond, with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse."
In any case besides that one minor issue, the general tweaking is good. Mind, I rushed when I did this in general.
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My head isn't entirely here, but ahhh, I think I get it now. Sankyuu.
"The four knight's wish to protect their bond, with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse."
↓
"The four knights' wish to protect their bond, together with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, broke the Book of Darkness's curse."
Damn commas. So now....
A long, long time ago, there was once a book whose curse would later kill whoever's hands laid upon it the cursed Book of Darkness. The book, whose real name has been lost, and the book's protective spirit were always sad because of that reason. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even royalty those who were involved with the book would die. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness' curse.
To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic, eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness' last master, a lone little girl.
The young girl treated the Book of Darkness' knights like her own family. Because of that, all of their hearts became filled with warmth and kindness.
Surely that's why....
The Book of Darkness' curse was harming the young girl. The four knights' wish to protect their bond, together with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, broke the Book of Darkness's curse. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then... The young girl presented a name upon the book's spirit once known as the Book of Darkness the Blessed Wind, Reinforce.
It is now December. The young girl, the mages and knights... Everyone is content. However...
Takamachi Nanoha ver.
Yagami Hayate ver.
Fate Testarossa ver.
Quote:
Just go at it at your own pace with the trasnlations, mind you I'm only doing this since I feel like it might be good to help with something like this and getting everyone to understand the storylines of all the characters. So they know what is going on. I have mostly a general idea with some specifics due to my odd affinity with understanding vocal Japanese.
On another note...
-hands LVD a bulk load's worth of tissues for the future Signum DLC-
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I'm doing this for the LOVE OF YAGAMI-KE. If I go at my own pace, I'll never get it done. Slack, slack, slack. 8D
Uwah, no need for the tissues~ I'll be dead by then~
Edit: FOR THE GLORY OF YAGAMI-KE.
Spoiler for All text up to end of Stage 4, so somewhat text heavy~:
Phase of
Takamachi Nanoha
"Wings to Tomorrow"
----
[image]
Nanoha:
It's been almost one week since
the "Book of Darkness Incident" has ended.
[image]
Nanoha:
Hayate-chan,
the Guardian Knights,
Nanoha:
and even Reinforce-san
are all living in good spirits at the Yagami household.
[image]
Nanoha:
Sigh...
The year has already ended, hasn't it?
Fate:
Yeah...
It's good to spend the new year peacefully,
isn't it?
Nanoha:
Everyone's looking forward to the trip too!
Fate:
That's great,
a trip with three families.
Nanoha:
The Takamachi family, Lindy-san's group,
Suzuka-chan and Shinobu-san and everyone there and...
Fate:
Me and Alisa!
Nanoha:
It'll be a huge trip with 15 people total!
......Although I wish Hayate-chan and
the others could also go with us.
Fate:
Yeah...
The thing with the incident......
Reinforce is also still recuperating.
Nanoha:
I hope they'll go with
us during spring break.
[image]
Fate:
Yeah...... Definitely.
Fate:
Ah, well, Nanoha,
thanks for bringing me home.
Nanoha:
No problem, Fate-chan.
See you again tomorrow.
Fate:
Yeah.♪
[image]
Nanoha:
The Book of Darkness Incident ended safely......
It's something like a fading dream of mine.
Nanoha:
I feel like
I want to face my own magic more properly.
Nanoha:
These hands of mine,
my magic, what can I do with them......
I want to know.
Nanoha:
Raising Heart......
How far......
How long can I fly?
Raising Heart:
Together we can go anywhere.
Nanoha:
......Yeah...
Thank you.
[image]
Nanoha:
... Huh... ?
Chrono:
Nanoha...
This is Chrono!
Amy:
Nanoha-chan,
can you read me!?
Nanoha:
Ah... Yes,
Chrono-kun, Amy-san!
Chrono:
A barrier
has been raised in the city.
Amy:
The Arthra staff have
been deployed to investigate, but......
Nanoha-chan, be careful.
Nanoha:
Okay!
But since I'm nearby,
I'll go over to check it out, too!
Chrono:
Sorry about this, please do.
Nanoha:
Roger!
Nanoha:
Raising Heart,
SEEET UUUP!
Raising Heart:
Standby ready.
[image]
Nanoha:
Let's go, Raising Heart!
Raising Heart.
All right, my Master.
ＳＴＡＧＥ 1
Nanoha:
Ah, Vita-chan!
Vita (?):
............
Nanoha:
Just who I was looking for!
What in the world is going on?
Nanoha:
This barrier, just who is......
Vita (?):
Who the hell are you?
Nanoha:
Who am I!?
I'm Nanoha... Takamachi Nanoha!!
Vita (?):
Did we meet somewhere?
Sorry, I can't remember everything.
Nanoha:
Vita-chan...... ?
Vita (?):
Shut up......
I have
something I need to do.
Nanoha:
Wai... Wait a minute,
what do you mean!?
Vita (?):
I said shut up!
I'll smash whoever stands in my way!!
----
<Landslide Victory>
Raising Heart:
Suppression is completed.
Nanoha:
Yeah...
But... !
<Victory>
Nanoha:
Sorry, Vita-chan.
Are you okay?
<Narrow Victory>
Nanoha:
Ow, ow......
That was mean, Vita-chan...
----
Vita (?):
Uu......
AHHH... !
Nanoha:
Ah......
Vita-chan!?
[ Vita (?) fades]
Nanoha:
...... She...
She disappeared... ?
Yuuno:
Nanoha!?
This is Yuuno!
Nanoha:
Yuuno-kun!?
Yuuno:
I was able to confirm what happened just now.
The barrier that was raised in the city is a
remnant of the darkness of the Book of Darkness.
Yuuno:
The small, lingering fragment
gathered memories and magic then began to regenerate.
Nanoha:
S... So,
the Vita-chan that I just fought......
Yuuno:
That's right.
She was a fragment born from the darkness of the Book of Darkness...... a Dark Piece, so to speak.
She's not the real one; she's an impostor.
Lindy:
Nanoha-san?
This is Lindy.
Nanoha:
Yes!
Lindy:
A little while ago, I was able to contact the real Vita...
She got mad when she heard an imposter appeared.
Lindy:
And then asked,
"Is Nanoha okay?"
Nanoha:
Yes...
I'm perfectly fine!
Lindy:
Right now, barriers are being raised in several places.
Amy:
All of the Guardian Knights are
making an emergency dispatch.
Fate-chan too, of course.
Reinforce:
Takamachi Nanoha......
Can you hear? It's me.
Nanoha:
Reinforce-san.
Reinforce:
Regarding the remnants of the
Book of Darkness causing trouble...
I'm really sorry about this.
リインフォース：
・・・・・・形になって現れているのは、
この街で戦った魔導師や騎士達の、
記憶と願いだ。
Reinforce:
...... They use the memories and wishes
of the mages and knights that fought in this city
to take shape.
- Same words, just different order.
リインフォース：
燃え残った願い、
苦しんでいた記憶。
そんな負の感情が形を取っている。
Reinforce:
Wishes that remain unfulfilled
and memories of suffering;
such negative emotions take shape.
- Excuse me, but what are "unburnt wishes"....
Nanoha:
If that's the case......
Then we have to help them, right?
Although I'm in no position to ask......
I'm still asking you.
Reinforce:
The Dark Pieces......
I wish for you to let them sleep.
Nanoha:
It's okay...
Please leave it to me!
ＳＴＡＧＥ 2
Nanoha:
Signum-san......
Dark Piece Signum:
A face I don't recognize.
Are you an Administration Bureau mage?
Nanoha:
Something like that.
Nanoha:
Excuse me...
May I ask
where you are going?
Dark Piece Signum:
Somehow, I can't properly remember
what I was just awoken for.
闇の欠片シグナム：
だが、成すべき事があるのはわかる。
我が友や同朋達も・・・泣いている。
Dark Piece Signum:
However, there is something I need to do.
My friends and companions... are crying.
- I like how cry has multiple meanings in English. :/
Nanoha:
Vita-chan's and Shamal-san's group......
And Reinfor....
Book of Darkness-san, right?
Dark Piece Signum:
You know them?
Nanoha:
We met some days ago.
...... I know a lot.
Nanoha:
You know, Signum-san......
Signum-san doesn't need to fight
for the sake of someone any longer.
Dark Piece Signum:
I am a knight of the Book of Darkness.
I fight for the Book of Darkness
and my Master, whoever he may be.
Dark Piece Signum:
My friends and companions......
I have grieved for them long enough.
Nanoha:
Signum-san only needs to
fight for herself,
her family and Hayate-chan.
なのは：
泣いてた友達だって、
今は
。
Nanoha:
Even your crying friends,
they're currently.........
- Again, crying carrying multiple meanings.
Dark Piece Signum:
I do not have a family
and I don't remember someone named "Hayate" either.
Dark Piece Signum:
Is that all?
I can't afford to stay here.
Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
I won't let you.
Dark Piece Signum:
I refuse.
If anything stands in my way,
I won't hesitate to cut it down.
Nanoha:
!
Dark Piece Signum:
I do not feel
like cutting down a child.
Nanoha:
It's all right......!
You won't be able to do that!
----
<Landslide Victory>
Raising Heart:
Excellent!
Nanoha:
Had that been the real Signum-san,
I wouldn't have been able to win like this.
- Since this a landslide victory, the "easily" is already implied with "like this". Doesn't really matter though, lol.
<Victory>
Signum-san...
I'm sorry......
<Narrow Victory>
Raising Heart:
Do you have an injury?
Nanoha:
I'm okay......
But Signum-san does.
----
Dark Piece Signum:
This is......
My body is disappearing...... ?
Nanoha:
........
DarK Piece Signum:
...... I...... still......
Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
Good night, Signum-san.
ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ!
Unknown approaching at high speed.
Dark Piece Zafira:
You there, mage.
You are the one who defeated Vita and the others.
Nanoha:
Zafira-san......
Dark Piece Zafira:
A Bureau mage, huh.
Are you here to seal the Book of Darkness?
Nanoha:
It's a little different.......
I'm here to seal you guys.
Dark Piece Zafira:
I have no intention of challenging
the results of the previous battles, but
Dark Piece Zafira:
what are you fighting for?
Is it for justice? Is it for a cause? Is it for the law?
- Back to the original "law" translation is what I suggest because it seems that Zafira knows what the TSAB are.
Nanoha:
I......
Dark Piece Zafira:
I will tell you this:
I have no intention of being sealed quietly.
闇の欠片ザフィーラ:
盾の守護獣の役割、
貴様を止めて、果たして見せようッ！
Dark Piece Zafira:
It is my duty as the Shielding Guardian Beast
to stop you right here!
----
<Landslide Victory>
Dark Piece Zafira:
Guuh... !
Why did this... ? Why...
<Victory>
Dark Piece Zafira:
Guaahhh... !
<Narrow Victory>
Dark Piece Zafira:
Just...... a little more... !
----
Dark Piece Zafira:
These claws, these fangs...
Just a little more... If I can reach her... !
[Dark Piece Zafira fades]
Nanoha:
Zafira-san......
I'm sorry......
ＳＴＡＧＥ 3
Dark Piece Shamal:
It must be you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.
Nanoha:
Yeah......
Dark Piece Shamal:
We may have been just parts of the Book of Darkness,
but all of us felt that we were comrades.
Nanoha:
Shamal-san......
Dark Piece Shamal:
Although I'm sure that you're certainly very strong,
a knight will not back down from a fight!
Dark Piece Shamal:
Let me take vengeance on you!
----
<Landslide Victory>
Dark Piece Shamal:
It can't be......
I wasn't even able... to do anything....
Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
Shamal-san.
<Victory>
Dark Piece Shamal:
Ugh...... No way......
Nanoha:
The serious Shamal-san......
was strong.
<Narrow Victory>
Raising Heart:
Is it safe?
Nanoha:
Somehow......
I'm fine.
------
Dark Piece Shamal:
Ahh...... Everyone......
Nanoha:
Shamal-san......
[Dark Piece Shamal fades]
Nanoha:
.........
Raising Heart:
Master.
Nanoha:
It's all right,
Raising Heart....
I'll be okay.
[Incoming transmission]
Yuuno:
Just now, a huge magical reaction was detected
in the immediate vicinity of where you are!
Nanoha:
Really!?
Yuuno:
A presence made up of a
concentration of the Book of Darkness' remnants seems to be there.
Yuuno:
As long as that's there,
the Dark Pieces will keep appearing!
Nanoha:
Then if I look for that child
and put them to sleep... Will this incident be solved?
Yuuno:
Yes, it definitely should be.
Yuuno:
Fate and Arf are also
headed over there right now.
So...... !
Nanoha:
Understood!
Thank you, Yuuno-kun.
Nanoha:
Yuuno-kun's words
are always easy to understand
and make me feel better...... so I'm glad!
Yuuno:
That......
That's not true.
Nanoha:
Yes, it is!
Nanoha:
Well, I'm off.
I have to put them to sleep!
Yuuno:
Okay.
Take care!
----
ＳＴＡＧＥ 4
Nanoha:
(This girl is the concentrated presence?)
なのは：
（フェイトちゃんの姿っていうのは、
なんだか複雑だけど・・・・・・）
Nanoha:
(She has Fate-chan's appearance,
though it looks a bit complex......)
- complicated -> complex sounds a bit better imho.
Raising Heart:
They are a powerful enemy.
Please take care.
Lightning Blade Assailant:
You are......
the white mage who shot down the darkness of the Book of Darkness, right?
Nanoha:
...... Yeah.
Lightning Blade Assailant:
That's probably why.
Your very existence is extremely revolting.
Just looking at you makes my irritation grow.
Nanoha:
...... Is that so?
Lightning Blade Assailant:
I can't explain it, but
my current self doesn't feel like my real self.
雷刃の襲撃者：
君を殺して
我が糧とすれば、
この不快感も消えるはず、と！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
If I were to kill
and feast on you,
then this sickening feeling should disappear!
(Don't see anything that translated into as 'feeding on you' in the line. Though part of the line could be translated as "If I were to win and kill you at the same time," It could be argued on which might be better for direct translation but for smoother one is the one in blue as usual.)
- 「我が糧とすれば」 chowtime for bokukko?
Nanoha:
Sorry.
I can't let you
kill me.
Lightning Blade Assailant:
That will not be so. I will go back.
To that warm darkness...... !
To that eternal night of swirling blood and catastrophe.
Lightning Blade Assailant:
Now! Before my blade......
you will die here!
I will fly forth!
Nanoha:
Ahh...... I'm sort of relieved.
The real Fate-chan
would never say that.
Nanoha:
Calm down....
If I see her as someone else, I can fight!!
Raising Heart:
All right. Standby ready.
----
<Landslide Victory>
Lightning Blade Assailant:
No way......!
My lightning didn't even touch her......!
Nanoha:
You only have her appearance.
Fate-chan is a lot faster than you.
<Victory>
Nanoha:
The more I see you, the less you resemble her.
Fate-chan is
faster and stronger.
<Narrow Victory>
Nanoha:
The real Fate-chan is
a stronger girl.......
in heart and magic.
- strong spirit sounds weird. orz
----
Lightning Blade Assailant:
Uwahhh!
Impossible......
Impossible... !!
Nanoha:
Good night......
[Lightning Blade Assailant fades]
Nanoha:
Sigh.
Fate:
Nanoha!
Arf:
Are you alright!?
Nanoha:
Fate-chan, Arf!
Fate:
Nanoha,
I'm sorry, this is all because of my fake......
なのは：
そんな・・・・・・
あの子がたまたま、
フェイトちゃんの姿で出てきたってだけでしょ？
Nanoha:
Oh no......
It was only a coincidence that
she looked like Fate-chan, right?
Nanoha:
Even my fake
is out there somewhere.
Fate:
Yeah....
I wouldn't want to meet Nanoha's fake.
Nanoha:
Don't worry!
Raising Heart and I
will take her down!
Raising Heart:
Please leave it (to us).
Arf:
You know......
I've been thinking.
Nanoha:
...... ?
アルフ：
さっきのあの子は・・・・・・
もしかして、フェイトに起こりえた
未来の姿かもしれないんだって。
Arf:
That girl earlier......
It's possible that could have
been Fate's future.
- "It's a possibility"? Braindead.
Fate:
Yeah......
Arf:
Despised by Precia,
confronted with a cruel reality......
Arf:
If Fate had never met Nanoha, Chrono and the others,
she could have ended up like that....
フェイト：
そうだね・・・・・・。
あんな風に、なってたかも。
Fate:
You're right.....
I feel that way, too.
Nanoha:
That's not true.
Nanoha:
Fate-chan still has Arf...... !
Most of all, Fate-chan
is a stronger girl than she believes she is.
なのは：
だから、あんな風になんて絶対ならない・・・・・・
過去に遡ったって、
未来に進んだって、絶対に！
Nanoha:
So something like that will definitely never happen......
Even if we go back to the past,
you'll definitely move toward future!
Arf:
Nanoha......
Fate:
Thank you,
Nanoha.
[Incoming transmission]
Amy:
Nanoha-chan,
Fate-chan!?
Sorry, it's an emergency!
Amy:
A large-scale reaction appeared again!
This time, it's much bigger!
Reinforce:
It's the core of the Dark Pieces.
If you take this down,
the generation of Pieces should stop.
Nanoha:
Right!
Reinforce:
The core will probably
take on my own appearance and mind.
Reinforce:
Takamachi Nanoha, I'm sorry......
Please be careful.
Nanoha:
It's all right!
Here I go!
Fate:
Us too!
Arf:
Yeah!
Nanoha:
It's okay, leave it to me.
Fate:
But......
Nanoha:
There's something I need to confirm.
So, could you let me fly on my own?
Bolded parts with runes are things I've changed and just want to make sure the meaning is still there as I tried to smoothen out the English. Sienna are my comments, blue still being Hayate22's.
Everything else is just minor tweaks. As I started to go on, I noticed how some things were phrased to fit in with how they're speaking.... until I realized how this wasn't consistent. Could probably go back and poke those awkward sentences, but eh. Let's leave that for.... future testers! [lol]
__________________
少し
頭冷やそうか
?
Last edited by Bananoha; 2010-04-02 at 02:41.
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