[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Well, currently I have no critique, because from where I'm reading this turned out very nicely. As usual, introducing Miyuki is full of win and awesome.

It seems Nanoha is trying to nudge Vivio along in her own way, but she'll need to be careful with how she goes about it; that kind of thing could really backfire on you if you aren't too careful. And I'm sort of surprised that this is the first time Vivio has met Momoko and Miyuki in person, at least from what you're implying; I always figured Nanoha would at least bring her home a few times to introduce her to the family. That's probably the only odd thing right now that really catches my eye.

Anyway, a repost of mine; it was generally well liked, but Dezo and Spawn gave me some small critiques on it, so here's a slightly altered version of Vivio's interlude! If it flows better than the last one, I'll post it to FF.net today.

Spoiler for LDG Interlude: Vivio (Rewrite):

Interlude: Vivio

If Vivio could use any one word to describe the events of the past few days, she would have used fast.

Or perhaps, more accurately, lightning speed.

Vivio could not clearly remember a moment since Lutecia’s initial breakdown where she’d had a chance to actually get her feet under her and think things through. In the beginning, there had been Lutecia, and Lutecia had needed someone to hold her as she had cried. Then she had gone home, where Nanoha and Fate had been waiting, and there had been their questions which only added to her own confusion. Then back to Lutecia, to settle things once and for all and to figure out where their relationship currently was after this revelation.

Certainly, some days had passed after the revelation and should have given Vivio some time by herself to figure things out, but even then she didn’t know where to start. She had just been trying her best to live as if nothing had happened when Chrono had knocked on the door.

And now, the seventeen-year-old girl stood by the door to the medical area of the building, and as she listened to her girlfriend speak—or, more accurately, break down—she had to resist the urge to burst into the room and pull her into a tight, crushing hug and never let her go.

Since she knew it would solve nothing in the long run, she swallowed the urge and instead crossed her arms tightly over her chest, her fingers digging into the skin of her arms. She saw the flash of gold out of the corner of her eye, and without thinking about it her arm shot out, gently barring Fate from going into the room. She glanced over, saw the confused look in her mother’s eyes, and quietly shook her head.

She understood what her mother was thinking; she had the same thoughts running through her head. But this time, Vivio wanted to fully hear the problem that was buried at the root of Lutecia’s issues, and try to actually think about it instead of reacting.

That part bugged her the most; that she had no logical, reasonable solution to Lutecia’s problem. She wasn’t like Victor Stormhawk. She couldn’t say the words that somehow made everything seem less scary, or break down Lutecia’s arguments with a simple comeback. Vivio’s solution to a problem tended to be something she had inherited from her mother: to dive right into the emotional heart of it.

She was beginning to realize, though, that if she wanted to help her girlfriend fully, she also needed to approach this from a logical standpoint.

Easy in theory, at least.

“Hey, Chief. Is Alphine in trouble again?”

Victor’s cheerful, only slightly strained voice snapped Vivio out of her reverie; Chrono had finally seen fit to enter the room, it seemed, having apparently heard all that he needed to hear. She was impressed, in some corner of her mind, at how composed her uncle seemed to be at this moment.

Chrono gave Lutecia a long, quiet look that had the woman wilting; Vivio could only guess what wordless message had passed between them before he finally spoke. “Actually, I’m not the one in charge of deciding that. It’s been taken out of my hands.”

From where she was standing, the younger girl saw confusion wash over the summoner’s face. “What do you mean—“

She took that as her cue; Vivio stepped out of the hallway, not even glancing back at Nanoha and Fate. The moment Lutecia saw her girlfriend, she went pale.

“Vivio. Did you…. Ah… just now….”

Lutecia was babbling, and judging by the nervous look in her eyes, she knew it; it was one of those old habits she had never managed to break, even with age. It was something Vivio had always found endearing, and even now, with the situation as bad as it was, she had to resist the small, brief urge to smile.

There was another time and place for it, though.

Vivio stepped past Chrono, gently brushing his shoulder with hers as she went by; coming to stand in front of Lutecia, she shrugged off her jacket and draped it over the older woman’s shoulders, immediately silencing her. There were a million things she knew she could say at this moment, anything she could ask; Lutecia was open and hurting, and she was probably closer to speaking honestly than she ever had been, in this moment with her defenses down, her scars open and bleeding.

But now wasn’t the time, and Vivio had never been the kind of person to take advantage of someone’s emotional state, anyway.

She nuzzled into the older woman’s hair, resting her forehead against her girlfriend’s. “Come on, Cia.” Her voice was soft. “Let’s go home.”

There was a brief pause—only a few seconds, really. A quiet sigh shook Lutecia’s body, and for a moment she seemed to lean more into Vivio before she nodded and pulled away, murmuring a quiet “Thanks” to Victor. She staggered a bit when she slid off the table, but Vivio slid an arm tightly, protectively around her waist, and held her steady.

There was some deep, quick satisfaction in now Lutecia leaned on her, in that moment.

If I have any issue with this at all, it would be the last line. I'm not even sure why, but the wording seems... awkward, somehow. I have never heard satisfaction described as 'quick'. 'Sudden' might be better, perhaps?

Other than that, excellent as always.