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Old 2013-01-28, 23:42   Link #38
神の金槌 (ユダ=マーテル)
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Cainta, Rizal, Philippines
Okay, so I have written an outline building to the first game of the story, then a full dialogue version of the Training Montage before the game. Everything was fine until the part where the "trainer" teaches the heroes how to do defense (rebounding and shot-blocking). Somehow, the MC was able to learn how to post up her mark rather quickly, with guidance from the "trainer" of course.

I wanted to show the MC to be a natural, gifted with a body perfectly suited for the game and potential to become a great player if she works hard for it (kinda like Dennis Rodman, minus the crazy antics, or Dwight Howard, only with the potential), but is still a beginner in the game so she still needs to be trained in the basics.

But somehow, my last scene before the pick-up game came off as a Deus ex Machina or an Ass Pull.

Any suggestions?
judasmartel is offline   Reply With Quote