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Old 2008-07-16, 10:52   Link #50
Every word must conjure
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: City of No Yesterdays
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@Pop-Punk Sucks:

Personally I think it's very well-written, eloquent & certainly with a tense mood appropriate for the title. But I can't get any concrete meaning on the term "Ictus Cell". As far as I know it's something vaguely scientific. This portion of the title & the other scientific terms make the entire poem too abstract, so it's actually a bit difficult to give comments on where improvements can be made, other than in terms of language & diction.

And, again, in terms of personal preference, I thought this 3rd stanza could've been tweaked ever so slightly, mainly the "reddened night" part. It is easy to visualize & a good image really, but somehow I felt the concept of defining colour doesn't fit into this poem, which descriptive tones are rather neutral.

Still, my favourite stanza:
Spoiler for Best stanza/ diction:

Appreciate the post
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