View Single Post
Old 2008-07-18, 17:53   Link #54
Nervous Venus
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.
Age: 33
the only qualms I have about your story is the way it starts. I'm not looking for a hook/line/and sinker type of line or anything, but " I ran" just doesn't cut it for me. Good thing I kept reading though because the rest of it is pretty good. I do wish you could flesh out the chapter more, but that's just me being greedy.

Post some more whenever you've updated. I'm interested in reading
Nervous Venus is offline   Reply With Quote