[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by VK-Pitt

The Top 10 Wierdest Things You Can Buy on Amazon

Spoiler for For those too lazy to follow the link:

10. Ultimate Anal Douche Hygienic System (now with easy to clean rectal syringe!)

9. Anti-Monkey Butt Powder

8. Unisex Gothic Fairy Lingerie

7. Fresh Whole Rabbit

6. The Toilet Monster

5. Relaxman Relaxation Capsule

4. Dagobert Wooden Toilet Throne

3. ISS (It’s So Simple) Mouse Trap

2. Uranium Ore

1. JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

I remember reading about that a while ago ^^

****

I laughed at this one cause it was so silly ^^

More jokes for ya ^_^

Spoiler for The Lucky Frog:

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit.9 Iron"
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog reply, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,"What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit.$3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."

Spoiler for Moron:

One day a college proffessor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand. After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the
kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, 'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'

Spoiler for Dorm Rules:

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

Spoiler for Bill Clinton's Clock:

This man went to heaven and at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter met him to show him around. As they were walking around heaven the man noticed all these clocks sitting around and asked St. Peter what they were for. St. Peter replied, "Every person that is still alive down on earth has a clock that is monitoring that person. And every time a person tells a lie the clock's hand will move one click. For instance, see that clock over there that is moving one click every five minutes?... well that is John Benson a car salesman and every time he tries to close a deal he tells a lie and the clock's hand moves one click. See that clock over there that has cobwebs and rust over it?... well that is for Widow Mary, she NEVER tells a lie and goes to church every Sunday, she is one of the best."
So the man looks around and says, 'Well, where is Bill Clinton's clock???'.
St. Peter just smiled and said, "Hell, we use his clock for a ceiling fan!!!!!!!!

Spoiler for The Best Shot:

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, ''What the heck is taking so long? Hit the ball!''
The guy answers, ''My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.''
''Give me a break! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here.''

Spoiler for The Angry Wife:

An angry wife met her husband at the door.

There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Spoiler for POTENTIALLY and REALISTICALLY:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he`d sleep with Tom
Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in
a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million could buy?"
The boy pondered that for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, sir. Potentially, we`re sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we`re living with two sluts and a queer."