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Old 2008-09-01, 20:53   Link #22
cho~ kakkoii
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 3rd Planet
Originally Posted by Langus View Post
That is weird...

Speaking of which, I have another I forgot to add. This is my only complete, full length work of Bleach fan fiction. It's a look at Gin and Matsumoto's relationship and my prediction of how things will turn out between them when all is said and done.

I'm rather proud of it so if you've got the time please give it a read and give me some feedback

"Secrets of an Unworthy Heart"

Thanks guys!
You, my good man, have a nag for visualization. I've just finished "A Lost Soul is Found" and I can tell you that I'll finish this story. I've read it twice. First time was just to take it all in and the 2nd time with a bit more critical eye. Add a "d" to have the 2nd sentence read like "in and out" from the fourth paragraph, and you will have me off your back. I also think your story will flow much much better if you don't rely on longer sentences. I'm in the belief system where it emphasizes that a good writer doesn't need to worry about sentence structure such as run-on sentence or sentence fragment and all the other pish-posh. your story, your rule. Proper grammar can take a backseat as long as one has the basic covered. I guess I'm giving myself as a Hemingway fan.

Very good read so far! Matsumoto and Gin are a match made of win.
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