[serenade_beta]

Hmm? Maybe that Megane (Ishihara?) should be the protagonist. Far more aggressive then I expected her to be, and at least she wouldn't just waste time doing "protagonist" actions like Kou-chan and Ohana do.

Anyways, it didn't really feel like the story moved much. Ohana and Kou-chan don't really settle anything and Tooru overreacts towards females as always.

I guess the last part tried to prove Ohana's mom isn't a terrible person or something, but her past actions are just too astounding to be covered up by a few "motherly" actions.
Samething with Deadman, but whimsical/random characters really are easy to use. If they suddenly go crazy or do something random, you can just say "That's their character" and settle things.