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Rosario+Vampire Manga
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2011-04-19, 02:30
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Magin
#1 Akashiya Moka Fan
Author
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where magic is real
Age: 35
@Tyrannus
Two complaints, though they're just me being nit-picky:
Spoiler
:
One... you seem to put too much detail into Tsukune's trip home. Yes, I know that for him it does seem to be extremely disappointing, but you make it sound like he's almost about to face the end of the world. While I don't have any real suggestions, I think you could make it a bit less dramatic.
My other complaint: when getting accepted into Youkai Academy, so far (until we're told otherwise) it seems like it was by pure coincidence. I think that was part of the appeal to this stroy in the first place... that an average middle-schooler gets into this kind of high school by pure coincidence. By adding in that business deal, you make it seem like him going to Youkai Academy was all pre-arranged... something that takes away the novelty of him going to Youkai Academy
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R+V fanfic- Chapter 4 of
A Water Bride and a Vampire
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, come join her fanclub!
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