[Tyabann]

I'm going to get carpal tunnel.

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Haruhi: Streets of Nishinomiya- Mysterious Event:

Mysterious Event


Haruhi: Hey, look at that old man over there! Doesn't he look suspicious?


Not really. He just seems like any average old man sitting on a park bench.

It's been about twenty minutes since I met up with Haruhi, and for all twenty of those minutes, she's been pointing out the most random things and declaring them to be 'suspicious' or 'mysterious'. Really, I think she's just reaching out of a sense of desperation, but I'm doing my best to humor her.


Kyon: ...Why is he suspicious?

Haruhi: He's staring at the cherry trees. No one stares at the cherry trees at this time of year! He's probably receiving messages from his superiors.


Why? Why is that the first thing you assume? In all probability, he's just reminiscing about his recently deceased wife, who he walked with under the cherry trees every day for nearly fifty years. I bet they lived all alone in a tiny house, all their children and grandchildren having moved away to the big city many years ago, and unable to support themselves on his measly pension, they were both forced to get part-time jobs even in the years when they should have been enjoying the fruits of a long life. Last week, she had a heart attack due to overwork, and on her deathbed, she made him promise to continue their daily walks, under the shade of the cherry trees, in her memory.


Kyon: I'd like to thank the Academy.

Haruhi: Not now, Kyon! Look, he's getting away! Let's follow him secretly!

Kyon: Look, he's probably not even worth investig-- she's not listening again.

Sigh.


We tailed the old man for about ten minutes, but Haruhi lost interest when it became clear that he was just going to the residential district.


Kyon: What were you expecting? Him to just walk into a phone booth and disappear?

Haruhi: Exactly! You're getting better at this! Hey, what's that over there?


The “that over there” turned out to be a defaced telephone pole... someone had scratched some strange-looking characters into the wood, probably a hoodlum with a pocket knife and nothing better to do.


Haruhi: Pay attention, Kyon. This is clearly a message from higher beings, placed here for us to find. If we can decipher its meaning, we can unlock the secrets of the universe!


I have two questions: How often do you find these around, and did you hit your head this morning?

...And, actually...

I turned my head to the side a little.


Kyon: I think it just reads “question authority”... the person who wrote this must have been terrible with a pocket-knife.


Haruhi was copying the poorly-written characters down in a notebook, clearly intent on deciphering them later.


Kyon: Were you even listening to me?

Haruhi: Come on, help me look! There's bound to be more around here somewhere.


Eh?

To my surprise, there was. We found several more pocket-knife scratchings, reading, in order of discovery: “oh god, they're eating me from the inside”, “everything you've ever known is a lie”, something that looked like French or some other Western language, the only word of which I could read being “bastardes”, and “he was delicious”.

...I stand corrected. This was the work of a lunatic, rather than a hoodlum.

Haruhi had finished copying them down into that little spiral notebook.


Haruhi: There we are! You're helping me decipher these later, understand?

Kyon: I just read them out to you!

Haruhi: Ooooh! Look at that, Kyon!


It's like looking after a child...

A small crowd of people had gathered in front of a nearby house, and as I got closer, dragged by Haruhi, I could also see that police had cordoned it off, drawing attention.

Haruhi, as expected, started demanding information from the nearest onlooker.


Haruhi: Excuse me, but could you please tell us what happened here?


Polite only to adults, as usual. And don't include me in this! For the purposes of your investigations, I don't know you.

The onlooker, a middle-aged housewife of the kind that enjoys gossip perhaps a little too much, described with relish the rumor that the owner of the house had been found dead this morning; apparently, he was murdered.

...A bit unsettling, but I suppose these things happen. Frankly, I'm more worried about--


Haruhi: Thank you very much.


Her reaction to this.

I was immediately dragged by the front of my shirt to the other side of the street. The shine in Haruhi's eyes foretold exactly what she was going to say.


Kyon: No.


Displeasure.


Haruhi: What? What's that supposed to mean? I haven't even said anything yet!

Kyon: We are not breaking through a police line to go search the house for clues! That's both too far and too dangerous.

Haruhi: But it's a real murder! This could be the center of a vast conspiracy!


Please, you just want to play detective again and, not only that, this time the killer actually exists... Do you have any idea what the consequences would be if he was still lurking around? Your investigation might be cut short sooner than you'd like...


Haruhi: Hmph. Whatever. Let's find something else to do.


We were approaching a train crossing, which I recognized as the one at which Haruhi had once confessed her feelings of insignificance to me. Suddenly, Haruhi stopped short, without saying a word.

This is deja vu, but thankfully not in the same way as last month.


Haruhi: You know... you're not being very helpful.

Kyon: I was only trying to stop you from getting either killed or arrested. I'm perfectly willing to help when there isn't a danger of either of those.

Haruhi: You were the one who asked to come along with me! I could have done this on my own!

Kyon: It's a good thing I did, too, since you might have been taken by the police if not for my intervention!

Haruhi: I don't have time for this...

Kyon: Why are you even angry? I haven't done a--


She turned away, presenting me with the back of her head as she stalked across the tracks. The gates closed behind her. A train was coming.

Deja vu, again... but I'm on the other side this time.


Does that mean something?

---
IF Haruhi=19 THEN

...Is it really right, to just let her walk away like that?

Every attempt to cheer her up, or at least defuse her incredible temper, ends up backfiring or escalating into an argument. Trying to keep Haruhi happy is futile.

Yet is it all right to just let her go, and let this train come in between us?

...More importantly, is that something that I want?

I could see the train coming out of the corner of my eye. It would come in only a few seconds, separating us, perhaps only for a minute, perhaps forever.

I don't know.

In those few seconds, time seemed to slow down, like in a bad action film.

During those few seconds, a voice seemed to echo out of the headphones still slung around my neck.

Missed opportunities suck. For what it's worth, whatever you do, always give it your all!

I gave it my all.


Kyon: HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !

Haruhi: ...Hah?


Time slowed down even further.

The train was almost upon us.

I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.

I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.

Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.

I hurdled over the next gate, landing right beside Haruhi, whose face was frozen in shock.

The train sped by. Time returned to normal.


Kyon: Never stop dreaming!


Believe in you who believes in yourself who believes in me who believes in circular statements!


Haruhi: ...


...Wait. What did I just say?

In fact, what did I just do? ...Did I seriously just run across the tracks when a train was coming?

I... I think I did, yes.


Haruhi: Are you an idiot!?

Kyon: Uh.

Haruhi: Weren't you the one just telling me to be careful!?

Kyon: Well, yes...

Haruhi: Honestly...


She sighs. I feel as though our positions have been reversed. It's not a good feeling.


Haruhi: Well, whatever, it can't be helped. I'm getting hungry, let's take the train into town or something.

Kyon: Actually...


I've just remembered.


Kyon: I have sandwiches.

---

ELSE

It doesn't mean anything. A train is a train is a train. What else could it mean?

I lose sight of Haruhi, and the train passes without incident.

Except... when I saw Haruhi again, she had turned around, facing me once more.


Haruhi: Hey.

Kyon: ...Yo.


I was an idiot to worry. After the gates lift, I cross the tracks, tracing her path from earlier.


Haruhi: Thank god, I thought you'd left.

Kyon: Why would I leave? And why do you care.

Haruhi: Hmph.


She shrugged.


Haruhi: I... wanted to thank you. For looking out for me earlier. ...Not that I still don't want to investigate that murder, of course.

Kyon: Of course... It's no trouble, though. You're my Chief, after all. It'd be bad if something happened to you.


Haruhi looked somewhat surprised at my proclamation.


Haruhi: ...

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: A-anyway, I'm hungry, so let's take the train into town or something.

Kyon: Actually...


I've just remembered.


Kyon: I have sandwiches.

---

The following mysterious event occurred while we were sitting on a park bench, eating my mother's delicious sandwiches.


Kyon: ...You know, I'm surprised you still haven't commented on these.


I tap her headphones.


Kyon: If you want a mysterious event, I think they qualify.

Haruhi: Hmm? Why? Do you hear the tortured screams of restless spirits while you wear them or something?

Kyon: ...Something like that... but don't you recognize them?

Haruhi: ...Should I?

Kyon: They're yours.

Haruhi: I've never owned a pair of headphones in my life.

Kyon: ...You sure? They have your name inscribed on the headband... and the music on the xPod that came with them kind of fits you, to be honest...

Haruhi: Well, give them here and I'll see for myself.


That might be dangerous. Be patient and give me a minute.

To take the headphones off without activating them, I guess I'll have to slide them backward, behind my head, and then lift them high up, making sure they don't go anywhere near my ears.

Haruhi is giving me her are-you-stupid look as she watches my minor gymnastics. No matter, I can finally get rid of them now.

I hand her both the headphones and the xPod. Free. I'm finally free.


Haruhi: COOL... SHRINE? ...That's not my name.

Kyon: I know that. ...I think it's the translated kanji reading of “Suzumiya”.

Haruhi: Only if you're an idiot who doesn't pay attention in English class. Admit it, Kyon. You're just trying to pawn stuff you don't want off on me. And this...


She holds up the xPod.


Haruhi: Why did you paint it yellow? Does it even work anymore?

Kyon: Surprisingly, yes... and why are you so sure those are mine!?

Haruhi: Please. They go perfectly with that street punk look you're currently sporting.

Kyon: It doesn't look that bad!

Haruhi: Yes it does. Anyway, you can have these back; I appreciate the gift, but I don't want your old crap, Kyon.


She moves to put the headphones back on my head.


Kyon: Hey, Haruhi, wait! Don't do--


FLASH.

Enjoy. By the way, 19 is the max number of Haruhi points one can get.


As for music...

For Day 0, I can just use the original music from the anime. Nothing new or needed there.

I really want to get my hands on that epic theme from the end of E8, though...