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I think you're disregarding a couple of very important points of characterization that have been well established, Klashikari. First of all, simply because someone doesn't act on a suspicion or knowledge doesn't mean they aren't subconsciously aware of it. I think as regards Menma's wish fulfillment meaning her final departure, I personally believe both Jintan and Menma were aware of it - it was influencing Jintan's behavior especially - but more on a subconscious level.
Which leads into the second point, avoidance. Avoidance is a major component of the disorder pretty much everyone in the series is dealing with. Jintan practices it expertly, for what is being a hikikomori if not avoidance perfected to an art? His father practices it too, by allowing his son to be a dysfunctional member of society in the name of kindness. Anaru has carried a torch for Jintan since she was a child and never told him. Yukiatsu and Tsuruko have danced around their mutual feelings since they were Busters. And Poppo chose to deal with Menma's death and the breakdown of his social circle by leaving Japan altogether (or at the very least, dropping out of sight and creating an elaborate fantasy) and then returning to play forts in his childhood hideout.
Given all that, is it so hard to believe that Jintan and Menma would prefer to let the fantasy that they could be together play out by not confronting the reasons behind in - even if they both knew, intellectually, that it didn't make sense and couldn't last? Not to me.
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