Thread: Dating
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Old 2012-01-31, 16:51   Link #10029
monsta666
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: London, England
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hera View Post
Thanks. The #2 guy seems more problematic and harder to fix .-. How to get him to open up and talk about it?
Your second friend is older and the older you get the harder it is to change, generally speaking that is. Plus one thing to bear in mind before you try to change your friend's behaviour is the fact you must accept the basic concept that people will not change unless they want to. If what you do does not work even after a bit of repetition/encouragement then it is unlikely to ever work as he has no will to change.

Now, to me it would seem your friend seems to scared of the risk and what meeting that person would do to their life and how his life might be impacted should he fall in love. So it would seem he panicked and basically reacted like a deer in headlights and did nothing. This was an unfortunate reaction and he felt guilty and then shameful for it. I think that's the reason he blocked her from Facebook as he didn't have it in him to maintain contact with her after what he done. Then after the shame he had to justify his behaviour to others.

I am sorry if my post sounds harsh towards your friend. I do not mean to say negative things, I just feel on the big day he got stage fright and didn't show up. The rest was just reactions to that day. I guess what you could ask is why he didn't show up and was it a case of nerves or what? Ask why he got nervous and encourage him to be a little more brave in the future. As they say: fortune favours the bold(s)! If things don't work out after trying then we can live with that. But what is harder to live with is the regret of not taking action when we know that could have lead to something good. I think you need to stress those kind of points to your friend.
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