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Old 2008-05-18, 13:26   Link #24465
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
Feels good to be home, and feels good to start firing back again.

Sora no Iro, Yamato Railguns, FIRE!

Mizu no Iro, Main Cannon "Hiryu", FIRE!

*watches the immense destruction*

AH...Feels like spring time.

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Most, not all. Then again, if he breaks, I trust you won't make him break ... that badly.
When I spank people, I give them diaper money for remuneration too, you know!



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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
He's stifling because he pays no heed to things that do not concern him. Anything that does, he pays every ounce of attention to it. Other than that, you'll just be talking to the wall until he decides that he's bored and your tummy needs a make-over .
EVISCERA!!!!



*me flees the spoiler monster*

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Now, the histories of these three characters are well-done, I find little to nitpick (even though I feel the "eternal life" part a little unnerving, but I'll just leave it be for the moment). I do have issues with the spells, as I've mentioned to you earlier, so let's see what do we have to talk about.
It's my life, It's now or never...
'Cuz I ain't gonna live forever...
I'm just gonna live while I'm alive...

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
[/B]Ah, wait, before that, we'll tackle this little bit here:

Spoiler for “Duel of the Century”:


If Juste won the duel, why is Zarakiya made the leader and not him? =3
If you read both their profiles, you realize Zarakiya is a more ideal choice. Juste as a forward and front charger, along with Atrum Veruka, are riskier choices for a commander as compared to support/defense/trap based Zarakiya. Also, their characters are vastly different: Zarakiya has a far cooler head.

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
[/B]To my understanding, this would follow a similar rule as Tracing (in your case, the Artifacts of the God), wouldn't it?
Each Aerternis House almost has a different kind of magic as compared to another, although most of them use the "runes". Generating weapons is like "Tracing", yes. That's simple enough, though for some advanced weapons, such as the "Artifacts of the Gods", Activating them required "runes". Generating them on the other hand...is something else altogether

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
If you don't mind me pointing out, your characters (two of the three) have a lot of special abilities that are mitigated very little for the huge benefits they gain. Well, they're antagonists, you've mentioned them earlier, but it remains difficult to see how the Aces are able to handle them.

For starters, Veneficus Terminus doesn't sound like a powerful limitation in any case, given that the Zarakiya's threshold is quite high. I believe you'll be exercising author limitation here.

For Inritus Presencia, from what I understand, it means that they're no longer immortal, so ... what's the consequence here other than they becoming human? Does that mean that the average Aerternis who doesn't practice actually do not die normally, and that if struck a lethal blow, they can be regenerate very rapidly? What I mean is, what's so crippling about this effect to Zarakiya's unnatural ability?
Zarakiya's special abilities are quite useless sometimes, actually. Only Ricardo's are any good.

The Terminus is practically useless for Zarakiya, true. However, I will not extend this to others...And as for the Aces, he's just somewhat under them in power output, and all he needs to do is stall for time and then kick their asses.

Not only do they lose their immortality, they actually actively degenerate, emphasis on "actively", which progressively cuts their lifespan down to flat nil. The average Aerternis can still be dealt a fatal blow and die, yes. But die if left alone? No. The less they use magic, the better, really, that's what I'm trying to say

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
You have a complex input for your spells, and one of them is Axiom, which isn't mentioned in extra details. So, for the Aerternis that practice magic, they basically have a Veneficus Terminus and Axiom that function as power supplies for their spells? How different are they that they are needed at different times and usage?
I think I'll cover this in the plot itself, because it's supposed to be (a secret!)

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Uhm, right, a lance that can "cut through anything". By virtue of description, I'm assuming it means the lance can cut anything including space, universe, time, and the like. Proficiency, like casting time and power, is pretty much subjective and author limited, so if he really needs to use it, then he will use it. Now, can you describe a way in which the lance can be effectively blocked?

... I dread to think what Cronus Flax can do ...
Ack-hem. It doesn't cut through anything, it is said to be able to. He can hardly even generate it anyway, so it's pointless for now

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Let's see, if someone critically damages his heart/weak point, will it just "gush" out in a pool of blood and then repair itself like nothing's ever happened?
Yes, actually. He's quite h4xxed for being someone's familiar (You could instead dread how powerful his master is)

Although if you cut him enough times, he'd probably run out of stamina, since it's his body's own natural reaction, and it DOES drain a lot of energy, so he'll avoid being hit too much. It's a bad idea when your body over-metabolizes in an attempt to save you, it could kill you actually.

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Mm, I wonder, can he use this secret artifact to basically void Arc-en-Ciel?

Also, if he can only use it once per day, how long is the duration that the jacket will remain as a void before it reverts to being a normal jacket? Sorry, by "once per day", it can either mean "activated once and effective till one day is over" or "activated once and effective only for one attack per day". I do hope it's the latter ...
I wonder who'd be dumb enough to have this magical heavy-duty vacuum cleaner on all day...so no, it activates once, and that's it, it's back to being a jacket again.

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Mm, silent killer, much? Hayate falls under the pheromone, backstab, end of story?
Won't happen. He'd be hacked to pieces before getting close enough, and we all know why, don't we all

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Now, I frown at this spell. It's too powerful. I notice that the cast time is two hours, but preparations beforehand effectively render the cast time obsolete (plus, it's plot point, anyway). Then, it seems like Ricardo has some godly amount of Axiom to spare for this spell to be maintained for two hours, and the summon limit is almost nonexistent. Personally, if I were Ricardo, I'd mass-spam Level 1-3 creatures and let them flood over the enemies. It's a futile battle on the enemy's side anyway, since there's no limit to the number that he can summon for those small level creatures. Plus, if he were to combine all the summons, he'd basically have an army huge enough to overwhelm the enemy's forces. Of course, that's assuming that those creatures do not drain his Axiom when summoned (something which you'd accidentally let out, perhaps). If they do drain his Axiom, he'd not have an infinite summon for Level 1-3.
Tier 6 and 7 weapons are special, like I said...and I'm not telling any time soon about them

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
For starters, this is quite epic even for a first chapter.

That mini-clip was mistaken for a chapter?
Oops. Maybe I should add the tag "Preview" to it...nahhh, I'm too lazy. Need my sleep

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
There's the sense of mystery over who Alemantas's true identity (and the one who spoke in her dream), and then the person who called her ... mother? Nice biking scene between Snake and Acous, though I'm still wondering who did Acous meet in the office (doesn't sound like Regius). A lot of codenames are being used, it seems. And the mastermind is already revealed .
Now I feel real glad about not having released her profile...lucky ol' me. Mastermind...nyahahahaha. You ain't seen nothin' yet, guys, you ain't seen nothin' yet from me

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Why, you saying you weren't in love with it until now? I'm hurt!
Oh, go die of a broken heart already, you softie old sod!

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Great, more epic stuff is always good.
Writing's a bitch, but she's a fun bitch...unlike school

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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post


The response is so strong ...

I didn't get the reference about Sora and Nike (though I know it's from Kingdom Hearts ), but I'm amazed that your favorite Templar is Trystahn of the four being detailed so far. He has the least amount of exposure at current time, but I guess he makes people feel for him (perhaps more so after this ... ). Thanks!
Hahaha. Sora and Nike are the two Takeuchi Brothers from Air Gear (by Ogure Ito, or Oh! Great). Sora uses wind, and Nike uses Earth, and so you get the idea

I like Trystahn. He's very much the gentleman, unlike my rather disrespectful, half-insubordinate snark of a main OC...

And don't blame me for my response! Blame yourself for making it so emotive!

nyaaaaahhh~

And now I can finally get some sleep.
XenahortCharybdis is offline