Naruto and his gang are strolling through a forest. Naruto pretends he has to pee and walks away behind some bushes. There, he takes a syringe full of ramen soup and injects himself.
Naruto: Aaaah, yeah, that’s what I’m talking about baby, date-by-yo!
All of a sudden, a ninja appears in front of him.
Bob: Hello, I am Bob the evil ninja. I was sent by some filler villains to kill you. So, like the stealthy ninja I am, I appear in front of you and tell you what I plan to do.
Naruto: Heck, this makes no sense… You are a renegade ninja from the Mud village, aren’t you, date-by-yo?
Bod: Wow, how did found out my secret village?
Naruto: Well, it’s there on your head guard, duh! Secret village my butt! … Hey guys, give me some help with this one, date-by-yo!
Shikamaru: Nah, too much of a burden; will pass.
Choji: I am busy practicing my only feature. Eating endlessly.
Kiba: I still haven’t marked every bush as my territory.
Shino: I am still writing my sue speech for that Mushishi dude.
Hinata: Don’t worry Naruto; I will help you… By the way, I love you.
Naruto: What? Where the heck did that come from, date-by-yo?
Hinata: I love you so much that I stalk you since you were born. And I steal your unclean underwear and do nasty things with them.
Naruto: Eeek! In that case, DON’T help me. I am in love with Sakura, anyway. Can’t help but loving her for ignoring me and yelling at me and hitting me all the time, date-by-yo.
Sakura: Shut up you ramen junkie! I don’t love you already! I am in love with Sasuke for ignoring me all the time and making me feel like dirt.
In the meantime, in Orochimaru’s lair, Sasuke sneezes.
Sasuke: Achoo! Snif! Is someone thinking about me?
Suddenly, a snake crawls around his butt.
Sasuke: Wow, Orochimaru, easy on the yaoi training! I am emo enough; I don’t need a boost!
Kabuto: Oh great master, honor me with your snake! I want too!
Back in the forest…
Bob: Oh, don’t mind me; I’ll just stand here doing nothing until you guys finish talking nonsense. I am only here to kill you.
Naruto: Say, why do you want to kill me anyway, date-by-yo?
Bob: Oh, I had a very sad past, you see.
Naruto: You don’t say; everyone has a sad past in this series, date-by-yo.
Bob: Let me tell you all about it.
Naruto: Err, I don’t really care, date-by-yo.
Bob: It all began about 30 years ago…
Naruto: Oh crap, another flashback, date-by-yo!
Three episodes later…
Bob: …and then they killed my puppy!
Naruto: My God, even the puppy? No wander you are so evil, date-by-yo.
Bob: So you see, I must kill you and avenge all my beloved… and especially my puppy!
Naruto: Well, now that you told us your past in a forced monologue, I believe it is time for you to get your final character development, date-by-yo.
Bob: What is that?
Naruto: You know, becoming a stunt or dying, date-by-yo.
Gaara and Tenten are listening to them from the top of a tree.
Gaara: Crap, no wonder I have no purpose in this series anymore!
Tenten: At least, you once HAD a purpose.
Bob: And now I will kill you with a power you have no chance against it!
Naruto: Oh, come on, what kind of jutsu can be so powerful, date-by-yo?
Bob: Not jutsu. A machine gun!
Bob takes out a machinegun and throws an array of bullets towards Naruto, who is shot in less than half a second and drops to the ground.
Bob: Jeez, this was so easy. I wonder why the hell there are still ninjas using silly gestures when any nobody can simply use a freaking anachronistic gun and beat anyone he wants.
Naruto’s body goes poof. He appears behind a tree.
Naruto: Haha! You were tricked by my shadow clone. Ain’t I smart or what, date-by-yo?
Bob: Oh, please, don’t try convincing me there is actually battle strategy in this setting. We just make things appear and disappear out of nowhere and dub it tactics.
Naruto: Sakura, quick! Distract him so I can attack from the rear, date-by-yo.
Sakura: How?
Naruto: Just do the thing you are best at, date-by-yo.
Sakura: You mean… stand idle and try not to get in the way again?
Naruto: Damn, I forgot that. Just walk away and try not to trip on every rock you come across. How will I distract him now, date-by-yo?
Guy: Don’t worry lad. I will save you with my awesome looks!
Lee: Me too, by mimicking my teacher and losing any hint of originality.
They both assume weird Super Sentai poses, while wearing tight spandex.
Lee: Teacher, are we ever going to lose our virginity if we keep acting so lame?
Guy: Shut up and act like a Power Ranger.
Naruto: This is such a disturbing image, it confuses even me! I need something less sick, date-by-yo.
Tsunade: How about my chest?
Naruto: No! I am a shonen lead! It is also disturbing for a wuss like me, date-by-yo!
A huge smokescreen comes out of Shikamaru and covers the entire area.
Naruto: Nice jutsu Shikamaru! Now I can move, date-by-yo.
Shikamaru: What jutsu? I’m just smoking. It just doesn’t show clearly in the anime version.
Bob: Hey, it’s illegal to smoke in public areas!
Shikamaru: So is cloning yourself; I don’t see anyone complaining about that.
Naruto: Of course there isn’t. We are ninjas!
Bob: Wearing bright colored jumpsuits? Hm, this is very confusing.
Naruto: Ha, it worked! And now that I have an opening, it’s time to go Super Ninja-jin, date-by-yo!
Naruto enters a phone booth and comes out in sage mode. The story pauses, so we can have a long recap of what has happened in the previous episodes. Half an episode is wasted…
Naruto: And now I will defeat you, date-by-yo!
But no, the story freezes and we have a filler scene. Sasuke is cutting his wrists in some corner, while Sai is dressed as a cheer leader and gives his club more fanatic fangirls. Then, Sakura appears in front of him.
Sakura: Oh, Sasuke, I love you; take me!
Sasuke: No way “Suckura”!
Sakura: Sexy-no-jutsu!
Sakura turns into a naked boy.
Sakura: How about now?
Sasuke: Now that’s much better!
And the two of them have a very personal moment… But only in a way that has to do with the back part of the body. Sorry Sakura, you are technically still a virgin…
Back in the battle…
Naruto: As I said, now I will defeat you, date-by-yo!
Bob: Wait, first let me have a flashback of how my encounter with you changed me over the course of this filler arc.
Naruto: For the love of God, not another delay, date-by-yo!!!!
After three more episodes of flashbacks…
Naruto: That’s it! I’ve had it! Fifty episodes and not even one punch! Even Dragonball Z does a better job! Time to use Nine-tails and do some damage, date-by-yo!
Bob: You mean that terrible power that is killing you yet saves your butt all the time and makes you look cool?
Natuto: Yes, that power, date-by-yo.
One episode later, Bob lies wasted on the floor and Naruto is immediately healed by the very Nine-tails that is supposed to be killing him.
Naruto: Well, duh, was there any doubt I would lose? I am the freaking protagonist, date-by-yo!
Bob: Yes, now that you beat the poop out of me I see that you were right. I want to be your friend! I want to help you! I want to understand each other! I want world peace! I will resurrect anyone I killed and sing happy songs around the camp fire!
Naruto: Oh boy, there goes the last serious hint this series had, date-by-yo!
Bob: What do you mean? Am I supposed to believe that there are actually people who don’t like how conveniently happy everything turns out to be in this story all the time?
Naruto: Believe it!