Thread: Dating
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Old 2012-10-03, 21:15   Link #10802
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 30
Originally Posted by Samari View Post
Right, but why would you want to go on a date in the first place?
To get a girlfriend, and all the benefits that goes along with that...
And why do you have to go on a date to get to know them initially? Can't you do that before you go on a date?
How exactly? Should I stalk her and observe her behaviour? We're talking about a hypothetical girl who I don't know beyond a bio she might have written up online. Not much to go on. If you want to get to know someone, you need to talk, preferably 1 on 1. A casual lunch date is the best way to do this.
You might as well do a blind date then. I'm not saying you have to have an entire bio written down about the person, but essentially having your feet wet before you slip into the pool is better to me than just doing a cannonball.
My point is that this might seem nice, but it's basically impossible. I don't know any (single young) women. My hobbies are 90% male. If I continue in Engineering (which is likely) my workplace will also be 90% male (and dating in your workplace is probably not a good idea anyway). I'd love to get to know a girl before I meet her 1 on 1, but with my current lifestyle that's just not possible. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this predicament, otherwise that lonely hearts section of the newspaper would be rather superfluous.

Anyway, with all the variations on online dating you at least always know that the girl in question is also looking for a relationship. None of this pussyfooting about only to find out she's already "taken". I'd also like to be dating someone before I fall in love with them. The opposite is just too unpleasant, falling in love without dating is simply unbearable.... Dating without falling love, by contrast, is merely inconvenient.

Also, I think a lot of people here have an overly romantic view of what a "date" is. I'm not talking about dinner, a movie and a bunch of roses (with perhaps some romance in the evening). I'm talking about something altogether more mundane, say meeting up at a cafe some afternoon over lunch just to get to know them better. If we like one another, then we can proceed to the Romantic stuff.

Our grandparents had a much healthier attitude to dating. They didn't see a first date as any kind of commitment. People these days seem to have a weird idea that a first date is a huge commitment, it isn't. It's just coffee.
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