[Beri270T3]

@KiraYamatoFan

Sorry it’s taken a while for you to get an opinion. A bit of tweaking should help your story along.

I won’t address your rating question first though.

Spoiler for Descent:

Is it necessary to recycle the game scene? Depending on your perspective you can just do a wash over it in a couple of sentences to a couple of paragraphs. Feels easier to read that way. Whereas if your focus were on one of those individuals it would be integral, and you would want to express their feelings with more than the dialogue.

I’m not sure how much a similar North American history would apply to Gallian historical studies. Granted Faldio appears to be an anthropologist and Gallia could have been a colonial power prior to the Kingdom’s downfall at the hands of the Empire. It’s also just my opinion, but “First Nations” seems out of place from the Europan perspective as it’s a relatively modern Canadian term, and could be used to describe themselves (Gallians, Darcsen, Valkyrur).

The act of scalping wasn’t universal amongst the tribes, though it was practiced prior to contact. I haven’t read much of the subject, but I’ve heard it was practiced in earlier Eurasian history and might be relevant to Faldio’s Europan studies. But in a more original element relevant to the world setting, is that it may have been used as a method of counting Darcsen killed in hunts and battle. This latter one may really strike the Imps as truly appalling when they find their dead.

When it comes to the rating, I’d say yes and no. Yes for intent. No for difference. People generally ignore the mutilating effects when it comes to firearms. I’ve read several where so-and-so gets shot in the leg, and is 110% in a few days. Where depending on their age, therapy, and possible infection it’s more like a couple months, and they’d still bear the furrow. When it comes to the effects of firearms, shrapnel, et cetera, the most realistic in the Valkyria Chronicles section are the ones by DC20. Pretty graphic. Scalping is pretty graphic too. Generally speaking I don’t think graphic content of that sort sets a fic apart from somebody else’s where so-and-so shot the Imp machine gunner, or when the Imperial cavalry man swung his blade it took off this squad member’s head.
Flip it and if Welkin executed Imp POWs with his sidearm I’d give it a mature, whereas I’d probably initially give a teen rating to one where a 10th century man-at-arms or a 19th century Imperial soldier collected scalps from dead Darcsen after an engagement. The difference being the intent.

@Snow

Spoiler for Isara and unknown sibling:

The first step would be explaining how she had an older brother that the Gunthers knew nothing about. Maybe he was thought to be dead. Perhaps he is a fairly older half brother (maybe older than Welkin), either unknown to his father or unknown to Belgen in either case of the boy sharing the paternal or maternal parent with Isara. There should be at least a dozen scenarios that you could choose from.

If Isara is wrought by inner conflict and is both the protagonist and antagonist, perhaps grabbing a few squad members to help guide her choice would be a good way to go. Based on what we know of the character bios there are people who she would frequently have contact, people who she might seek as mentors, and there might be some very unlikely individuals who help her out.

Of minor note is Welkin’s role as a junior officer. It’s something that would play a role in what occurs. He’s responsible for many lives and could be leery of the operation for their sake if he knows things they don’t. Also, depending of the regiment’s objectives he could be denied permission. Just a little brush stoke of how he says yes or no would be nice, although it doesn’t really matter.