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Old 2008-02-12, 23:10   Link #47
Falkor
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Spoiler for specific details about episode 04:

Please don’t expect too much out of this; this is the plain depiction of my thoughts. **I'm aware i'm two episodes behind, but oh well...** >.<

Anything beyond this point is merely speculation from my part based on the fourth episode. The episode in question started with a conversation between Hiromi and Shin about her relationship with Jun (number 4). Disregarding whatever question Shin might have asked her about, Hiromi’s answer/explanation (from her point of view) is for the most part sincere, but if that’s the case, what is she trying to convey with those words? I get the impression she was trying to be ambiguous, leaving her feelings unsettled because whatever other answer she might have given to Shin, it would have affected him as result—either with false hope or rejection. However, she said something interesting at the end, “That’s impossible for me.” The literal meaning would be the hopelessness of bringing any possible relationship with Jun to a romantic fruition, but that might not be the only interpretation to her words. She might be already interested in someone else as her heart is the one dictating her actions, and thus, unable to pursue any other option without going against her very own feelings. This interpretation, while it stretches her words too far, allows the idea that love was never one of her choices—if Shin is supposed to be the chosen one… In any case, Hiromi intended to convey the latter two in her words—the fact she may harbor feelings for him and the fact she doesn’t have the alternative to love the person closest to her. Besides all these ambiguity and/or endless ways to understand it, there’s probably one conclusion that can be drawn from the situation—Hiromi was relieved, and happy to certain extent, of having this little conversation with him (just by looking at the contrast between the events in the first episodes and the events that occur in this one). This further strengthens my belief that she has finally realized how important is to hold the people closest to her as closer as possible even if that means spending her time talking about a third person.

Half-way through the episode, a very strange/awkward conversation popped up. It was a conversation between Shin and Hiromi about their relationship—if we forget that number 4 was mentioned multiple times. The scene started with Hiromi asking a very obvious thing, “Are you trying to avoid me?” For the moment I will not include Shin’s point of view on the matter and concentrate on this quote alone. Given the fact this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth (sort of), it is quite possible that being avoided by Shin is affecting her to some extent in order to bother asking such a question in the first place; of course, she doesn’t want that to happen either. This situation gives me solid evidence on how much Hiromi has come to understand that distancing herself from Shin was never a good choice, as opposed to the rejoicing/relieving feeling of talking with him at the beginning of the episode. The conversation continues and after the double apology, she says something along the lines of “It’s not that… I wanted to” as a direct response to Shin’s line, “I couldn’t come up with something like that.” There are many theories that can be brought up to interpret this situation but I will go with my belief that she never intended to give the impression of having a strong interest for someone she only knew by a mere number—although her conversation with Tomoyo led to a different conclusion. She wanted, however, to convey something else, and hesitated more than once as result—even when she was about to enter Shin’s room in a latter scene. But continuing with the conversation itself, it ended up in a really strange note with Hiromi in the verge of tears right after Shin says the line, “It’s not fair.” It’s the only line that can possibly hurt Hiromi the most if you notice that up to this point her life was no less than completely unfair. Her parents die, she is forced to live with Shin’s family, she is alone in there with nobody to trust/believe except perhaps for Shin. However, when this very person—the only one she can actually rely on inside of that house—tells her that it was unfair to depend on him, there’s something that doesn't make sense—when Shin hasn’t experienced the same struggles/sufferings Hiromi did. **After watching the sixth episode, there’s one more thing that it’s unfair to Hiromi, but I will discuss it in another post. **

The last scene of the episode was a heart-warming sketch in which Hiromi allows herself to laugh cheerfully without worries—truly enjoying the moment. Up to this point, this is probably the only scene in which Hiromi showed that she can laugh as well inside of that dreadful house. I want to continue something I started in my last post about what does it take to make Hiromi happy… episode 04 has given me strong grounds to believe that every moment/situation where she can be close to Shin is a moment of happiness and it pains her more than enough to be separated from him as we have seen in that awkward conversation (actually, her pain is more Shin-related than anything else after recent episodes, so I will discuss it later on, hopefully).
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