At that time, everyone was shocked to see, waiting patiently near the just opened door, an adorable golden cow was there, waiting, with an envelope in it's mouth. "What the hell!" shouted Rudolf, as he cautiously tiptoed over and pulled the envelope from it's mushy maw. "It's from dad..." he says painfully, noting the eagle crest. At the table, they push him to open it, and find a letter from Beatrice acknowledging Battler, and the Head of the Ring as well. The cow blinked lazily and walked out of the dining hall, letting the door close behind it. The adults watched the door for a time, until a soft *click* of a lock turning dismissed the matter. They proceeded to discuss the letter.
Erika : SO, a mysterious golden cow delivers a golden letter from the golden witch! Nonsense, it's just some trick. What next, we'll find all the food on the island has been transmuted into inedible gold nuggets?
Lambda : Oh yeah?! It was just an idea I had, and it was so cute!
Erika : Well anyway, OBVIOUSLY I can doubt whether that was really a cow in the first place - it may have been any matter of fat bovine made to look like a cow.
Lambda : That's true, I don't think I wanna bother defining what a cow is for you.
Erika : In that case, the cow was just two people in a cow suit, used to covertly deliver the letter without revealing themselves.
Lambda : ... fine. 'Cow' refers to a living, large domesticated ungulate commonly raised for milk and meat by humans. And no cow disguise exists on this island.
Erika : The perpetrators burned the disguise as soon as they left the dining hall in it, so of course it wouldn't exist now. This doesn't violate Knox's 10th, right? After all, it was implied that this wasn't a normal cow since it had an unnatural golden coloring, right?
Lamda : Alright, the cow was not two people hiding in a suit.
Erika : So you can say that ... don't worry, I'm just getting started. The cow was an advanced automaton designed for delivering letters. It wouldn't be strange for Krauss, who is an idiot, to invest in a novel attraction like that for his planned Rokkenjijma resort. This is okay, right Dlanor? *giggle*
Knox: ... I SUPPOSE. Notable gear based automata have existed for over a century, and Krauss has not always been lacking in RESOURCES.
Lambda : Marvelous, but will that work for the door locking, though? No cow even touched that door!
Erika : Ha! Repeat it - no more than one moving body was in the hallway after the cow left the dining hall!
Lambda : Tch, I refuse. After all, there's already a cow out there, and I'm obliged to acknowledge the moving clock gears and hands, too. The dust falling from the rafters, the microbes rolling around the carpets!
Bern: Don't you think you're playing around too much? Let's simplify by limiting the definition of "moving bodies" to include only those things that are both visible to the naked human eye and wouldn't typically be defined as "decor" no matter how mechanical it was. There's nothing typical about a large robot cow, right? And despite their claims to the contrary, we'll include Shannon, Kanon and Genji as moving bodies in this definition, too.
Lambda : Ha, sure, sure. After Kratsuhi and Genji moved to the second floor, and until the end of the family conference, no more than one moving body inhabited the Hall at a time.. So that's the cow, but as I already said, it couldn't have locked the door behind itself, riiiiight?
Erika : Indeed, it's not the cow, but the lock that makes this some sort of 3rd rate fantasy.
Dlanor : *lookin g extremely dejected* ... ... ...
Erika : It doesn't matter, though! A cow has already been defined as a living demosticated ungulate, so the 'cow' currently under discussion, the automata, is perfectly able to touch the door and lock it!! At this point we should stop calling it a cow - it'll just be needlessly confusing. Cows are already off the table!
Lambda : Oh no, you caught meeeee. Well, let it be known the dining hall lock can only be locked with an opposable thunb.
Erika : The robot had one.
Lambda : Krauss would never be so foolish as to invest in a cow that had an opposable thumb, even a hidden one he wasn't meant to know about.
Erika : It could have been added later, after his initial inspection! Anyone could have done it! Maybe that's what Kinzo always worked on, locked in his study - going out of his way to undermine his incompetents son every effort!
Lambda : No person has ever existed on Rokkenjima capable of adding ... no, there's an easier way. Only a living being is capable of locking doors on Rokkenjima, excepting Kinzo's personal door
Dlanor : Thank GOODNESS. To follow that reasoning further would brush very uncomfortably against the 4th COMMANDMENT.
Erika : Well, that's hardly a problem. It's possible that after the robot left the outside hall, any other person walked down and locked the door.
Lambda : Pfft, girl please. Neither Natsuhi or Krauss or Genjo even touched that door after going upstairs!
Erika : Tch, are you suggesting the robot cow suddenly turned alive with magic, and sprouted a certainly grotesque human hand with opposable thumb and decided to use it to lock the door behind itself?! Huh?!
Dlanor : AHEM.
Erika : Just kidding, just kidding.
Lambda : Well, magic WAS involved, so ... MAYBE!
Erika : Requesting definition - does "that door" even refer to the whole thing? You might only mean the wood panelling, and exclude the locking mechanism, the hinges, or the decorative leaf that's only "on the door".
Lambda : Of course, I don't like word games, so-
Bern : *breaks down laughing*
Lambda : ... so, "that door" refers to everything you just mentioned - the panel, the hinges, lock, frame, and any decorative elements. The locking mechanism can only be operated with an opposable thumb. And allow me to add that the locking sound it makes is very distinctive and would not be mistaken.
Erika : Grrr... but wait, it was only said they heard "A lock" not "that specific lock", right?! The only people in the dining hall were relatives that didn't live on Rokkenjima, so they may have thought any locking noise was the appropriate one for that door, in their ignorance!
Lambda : I already said I dislike word games, right?! So for your i-
Bern : *is literally crying laughing*
Lambda : So for your impudence, I'll have to kick it up a notch, girlie. THERE IS DEFINITELY AN AUTOMATA COW ON THIS ROKKENJIMA, DON'T BE MISTAKEN.
Dlanor : Daaaaayumn.