[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

If I am a misogynist, I wouldn't read yuri manga or still hang out with the opposite gender.

This is not a convincing argument. Some racists (termed "aversive racists") still associate and are friendly with the ethnicity that they are against, to the point that they don't even recognize that some of the things that they do are exceedingly racist. Such people would deny being racist and honestly believe it, because it never occurred to them.

Again, it isn't an accusation. You'd only written two posts, but what you wrote set off some alarms in my mind. Feedback.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Each an every person is made by the experiences he/she goes through.

This is true. Yet even without fully getting to know many of these people and the experiences that they've gone through in their lives, you are assuming that they are all shallow and overly sheltered. Whether Singapore is an overly sheltered place or not, and whether the education system and culture produces "generic girls," no two people have the same experiences. So to make these generalizations about Singapoean women is something that I find to be unfairly judgmental.

Originally Posted by K_Babyy

My parents think that he's gonna treat Kendal and I like he and his brother were treated and they've got it completely wrong.

I don't know what type of abuse your boyfriend went through, but you should be extremely careful with this. I've suffered unintentional abuse at the hands of my parents, who in turn suffered similar abuse from their parents, who in turn suffered abuses stemming from World War II (or so some psychological reports would claim - it's thought to be an established phenomenon among many of the survivors). Breaking the cycle is extremely difficult. It's very possible to do, but it seems to require a lot of self-introspection.

I would not wish abuse on anyone, whether a spouse or a child. Again without knowing anything about your boyfriend, I'm instinctively afraid for your daughter and for you. I'd ask that you remember that, as much as you love Casey, you need to protect your daughter and you need to protect yourself. You don't need to view Casey as a time bomb, but please don't think that he's incapable of repeating the abuses that were brought against him. I've spoken with my fiancee about the things I suffered and requested that if she ever noticed something similar coming out of me, to tell me immediately.

I don't know if you've spoken with Casey about his past, but you may want to try to establish a communication line like that. The abuses will generally never flow out of an abused person because they want to repeat their abuse - it's completely unintentional and undesirable. Without some external feedback it can be very difficult to recognize the actions that are being performed, though. You can help to make sure that he doesn't accidentally do something that will pain him later on.

As for your parents, they need to accept Casey and your daughter sooner or later. It's for the best for your daughter if Casey is an active part of her and your life. You know your parents better than I do, but I think you need to talk with them about it in a calm and rational manner. Don't curse at them or become overly defensive and emotional about Casey if they speak poorly about him. You want them to at least give him a chance, to get to know him. I'd think that the best way to do that would be to show that you're cool-headed and rational (as opposed to lovestruck and under his manipulation, which they may suspect). It isn't easy to do that - it requires a lot of diplomacy on your part. Yet ultimately it would be ideal for you, your daughter, your parents, and for Casey if everyone could accept one another, be supportive of each other, and get along.

I wish you the best.