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Old 2013-08-20, 09:51   Link #38431
Akiyoshi
The Flame Crussader
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Congratulation Iron!

It took long but the waot was worth, i see you took some liberties like making FORCE dissapear ( very welcomed xD) and apparently avoidong Nanoha's fateful accident when she was. ..twelve, i don't remember precisely but it was around that IIRC.

The only think i honestly disliked wad Hayates typical fanfiction portrayal of being, as mentioned, a demented pervert who downright molests people, but it's more of a personal thing as i'm concious it seems to be the most popular fan depic.tion of Hayate among the Fandom. It was a bit too disturbing and distracting.

Fortunately, her intervention in the story was limited and i loved the sense of Karma that seemed to punish her everytime she went too far, Nanoha was pretty funny, she was trying to pull off a Hayate routine but seems she's simply too nice of a person to actually carry on with that so her attempts tend to backfire hilariously xD.

About everything else i can't say more than i already said in past comments. I prise your amazing narrative skills, the level of detail and care you put on the characters (even Hayate, i dislike her portrayal but i can still feel the amount of tought and care invested in her dialogues), the fact you took almost everyone close to Signum into account (i just felt Shamal a bit missing but it was well played) ...i think what i loved the most was the humble way Signum and Yuuno's relationship was depicted at the end. As much as everyone liked to blow it out of proporrion it was just another relationship among billions. They had their own quirks but the world didn't changed because of that and life went on regardless of their feelings and desicions. ...however, their bond was special to them and it changed their own worlds
..and that is all that matters at the end.

Again, congratulations, it was a fun raid and i'll be present next time you focus on the wolks or another character of my interest (i'm currently intrigued about when someone would make a serious portrayal of the Huckebein family for example xD).
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May 29 2010-2019

...9 years ago, the day after never would be the same

~The ASFB~
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