Suddenly.
Suddenly, abruptly, I reflected.
Something I was failing to notice?
What is it that I was failing to notice?
I was failing to notice something so important that Hanekawa had to rush out of the PE storehouse -- what in the world could it be?
And why was Kissshot so upset -- why was she so furious for what was at most the nonsense of a 'portable food'?
She had so much self-control before.
Besides, I heard that before.
'Do not say any superfluous words'.
That line of Kissshot -- I think I heard somewhere the same words from the mouth of Kissshot even before:
--I do not know anything about stuff like negotiators--
--Do not say any superfluous words--
--Brat.
That's right.
Kissshot said that to Oshino -- what was the topic?
I remember it.
Before that, the words Oshino said--
--I’m interested in you, Heartunderblade--
--you are willing--
--to help Araragi-kun--
--turn back into a human--
".....!"
I.
Pushed down Kissshot, and ended up on top of her -- without thinking, by reflex I got up. Naturally, I extracted my fangs from her neck -- and then.
I looked at her facial expression.
I saw it.
Kissshot's cold eyes, while still cold became hollow, her pupils seemed even slightly muddled -- even so her lips curl.
"What is it -- servant"
Kissshot says.
"I have still -- half of my blood left"
"............"
"Now that I have so much blood drawn out of me I cannot move, but if thou do not hurry, soon I will revive, thou know?"
It is as she says.
Now she can't move, but she will soon revive, it is as she says.
However -- more importantly.
I had something I had to ask her.
Although the last question I wanted to ask her was what I should have already asked -- there was something I had to ask her.
That.
Might have been something I shouldn't ask though.
"H-Hey -- Kisshot"
"What is it?"
"In what way did you planned to turn me back into a human?"
Kissshot bluntly tutted at my question.
"Do thou care about such thing now?"
"I care. It's important"
"That portable food. She should have stayed silent"
Kissshot cursed Hanekawa.
And she shut her mouth.
And then the accursed Hanekawa -- with a slow pace, walked up to me and Kissshot. Although she put back on her school sweater and tied back her scarf, judging from the shaking of her breast which seemed to have the boingboing onomatopoeia drawn in the background, it seemed she didn't have time to put back on her bra.
Unconcerned, Hanekawa came closer.
And then spoke.
"Heartunderblade-san"
She said with a respectful tone of voice.
"Did you planned from the beginning to be killed by Araragi-kun?"
"............"
"In order to turn him back into a human"
I failed to notice it.
If this didn't happen -- for example, if I didn't witness the scene of Kissshot eating Guillotinecutter.
In which way was she actually planning to turn me back into a human -- beside the method Hanekawa researched, what kind of other method existed?
I didn't even think about that.
I completely -- failed to notice that.
And.
"Do not talk rubbish, portable food -- as if there was any ground for it"
"Then please tell me in which way you planned to turn Araragi-kun back into a human. I researched it, and as for methods to turn a vampire back into a human I found nothing else"
Nothing else.
Nothing else but to kill the master.
Nothing else but to break the master-servant relationship.
"Ha. It was a known fact -- it is just that in the first place I never wanted to turn this servant back into a human. I just lied to him to make him gather my limbs. I will tell all kind of lies in order to regain my complete form -- even the reason I turned this guy into a subordinate, to tell the truth, was simply due to my circumstances"
"That's not it. You made him gather the missing parts because if he killed you in an incomplete state he would not turn back into a human, isn't it? If you are not killed after you regain your complete form, it will mean nothing--"
That time.
Kissshot was in such high spirits not because she regained her complete form -- but because she satisfied the requirement to turn me back into a human -- then?
"Rubbish. Way off the mark"
"Then -- why did you come here?"
Hanekawa talks with Kissshot with extreme composure.
The predator and the prey.
Despite they are a superior existence and an inferior existence.
They speak normally.
"Araragi-kun had a reason to fight you, but you don't have it. You covered it up with reasons like a chance to show your full power or something like that -- but in fact you came here to get killed by Araragi-kun, right? Just for that, right? Making the conditions an even match -- you deliberately stirred up Araragi-kun"
"Ha-Hanekawa"
"Araragi-kun, be quiet"
Hanekawa strictly commands me.
And she continues.
"Of course, there wasn't any ground for this -- I just couldn't help but feel something was weird, but a while ago, because you did not kill me who interrupted the fight -- I understood. You"
Although she blew up Hanekawa's surroundings with vampire eye power.
Hanekawa herself was not harmed.
Even though Episode threw his cross mercilessly towards Hanekawa who similarly intruded in the battle -- Kissshot, who called Hanekawa my portable food, didn't attack her.
She just threatened her.
"You plan to die"
"......Thou should have stayed silent"
Kissshot.
Repeated the same words as before.
"After saying it what do thou plan to do? After saying it -- do thou think my servant will be able to kill me?"
"Eh?"
"As a master I understand well my servant -- he is a fool who saves a dying vampire. If he knew about what the brat called my 'will', would he be able to suck my blood?"
"W-Well -- but"
Hanekawa is at loss with words.
Kissshot coldly looked at her.
With hollow pupils -- she coldly looked at her.
"I thought that was the most difficult thing -- how can I make him kill me, that was what troubled me. Therefore I stayed silent on the method until the last moment. I was already thinking I had no choice but to play by ear...... however, although it was unexpected for me, thanks to Guillotinecutter the conditions were ready by chance. If he got so angry just because I ate one person, there was no need to bother worrying about it--"
I, she said.
Kissshot, with those eyes looked at me.
"--I could get killed by thee while being the villain, the bad guy. Thou did not need to know my intentions"
"Why"
I murmured.
I was dumbfounded -- well, but.
It was a fact that with that explanation everything matched.
"Why did you -- such thing"
"Servant"
Kisshot says.
"I was searching for a place to die"
"A place to die--"
The cause of death for vampires 90% of the time.
Suicide.
Boredom -- kills the vampire.
Quite the -- boredom.
"That was the reason I came to this country -- since the first subordinate died, I never came here again. It was not sightseeing--"
"B-But you"
I do not want to die.
She said -- while crying.
The heart stolen -- the limbs cut--
She barely escaped alive.
"I thought it was time to die. That was my plan"
However, Kissshot says.
"In the end, I became afraid to die"
"............"
"I became afraid to disappear after having lived 500 years. I feared, I feared to disappear, I did not know what to do. Thou happened to pass by there. I begged you to help me"
"I -- helped you"
The outrageous thing was that I thought nothing.
I thought nothing about the consequences or the future.
It's just that.
I didn't want to see -- her tear-stained face.
I couldn't stand to see it.
"For the first time in my life, I was helped by another person"
"............"
"Whether they were human or vampire, nobody has ever helped me. While I was sucking thy blood -- I asked myself what I was doing. Therefore -- even if I consumed your blood, I did not eat thee any more -- I made thee my subordinate. The second subordinate in a lifetime"
Because thou were not opening thine eyes, I thought thou were going berserk -- Kissshot says.
With constant supervision all the time.
She nursed me.
"However, somehow, thou opened thine eyes. Well, I thought that if thou wanted to be a vampire all would be fine -- but thou, as I thought, said thou wanted to turn back into a human. While thou were not conscious, I grimly thought it over. I decided it at that time"
Kissshot said, helpless, but with a powerful voice.
"I will die for thy sake"
"......For my sake"
"Thou will kill me, thou will turn back into a human, this time I will die. I felt I finally found the place to die -- the place to die I was searching from 400 years before"
"400 years before--"
That is -- the first subordinate.
Kissshot said.
About turning him back into a human.
--In those days it was impossible for me to turn him back into a human--
--This time, I intend to capitalize on that lesson.
"I could not die for his sake. I was unable to offer him my death. I could not turn him back into a human -- therefore"
"For my sake"
In order to turn me back into a human.
In order to help me.
She wanted to throw away her life.
"So do not be conceited, servant. It was originally my responsibility -- If I did not act so disgracefully such thing would not have happened, and if thou did not save me, that time I would have died"
"............!"
Eh?
That...... wait a moment.
What is this situation -- impossible.
At this point -- my mental side.
I can take care of the mental side--
Even though I said that a little while before!
"......What is it? Are thou crying?"
"Ah......"
Now that I notice -- my cheeks are wet.
Why?
Because even if that was the case -- it doesn't change what I have to do, right?
Even if she wants to die for my sake.
Didn't she eat a person?
"Thou are a crybaby -- my servant. How pathetic"
"T-That's not it. These aren't tears. This"
This, I say.
"This -- is blood"
"Ooh"
"Blood is flowing--"
How did it turn out like this.
Kissshot is a vampire.
She ate Guillotinecutter.
She has eaten 6000 people so far.
However.
"--Even your blood is flowing--!"
We are alive.
Therefore it's the same.
What I did.
What she is trying to do.
What she did.
What I am trying to do.
Aren't they perfectly the same--!?
"Really, thine intervention was unnecessary, portable food"
Kissshot said.
"And I had planned to be killed showing an opening at a suitable point -- but well, fine. Servant, after all thou have no alternative left but to kill me"
"T-That's"
The mental side.
My mental side.
"If thou do not kill me, from tomorrow on I will eat 1000 people per day. ......If I say this, thou have no choice but to kill me right? As a proof this is not a bluff, if I start by seizing that portable food, will thou make up your mind?"
"........."
"It is better to pluck thyself the life thou saved. This is -- responsibility, right?"
"Kissshot--"
"Thou are the second person to call me by that name. And thou will become the last"
I looked at Hanekawa for help.
Hanekawa -- was just biting her lower lip however, moreover she didn't say anything. It was as if to make known the desperation of this current situation.
Even Hanekawa does not know what to do.
Yeah.
It is as Kissshot said.
If things are like this, Hanekawa didn't need to rush out of the PE storehouse and disclose what Kissshot had in mind -- in the end, what I have to do doesn't change at all, in this way the situation only grew worse.
However.
If I didn't know it -- and I kept misunderstanding Kissshot -- without being able to feel regret or remorse.
As nothing but a buffoon, I would have turned back into a human.
Would you believe it?
In the end -- only my wish was fulfilled.
Nobody is happy.
I just push everything on Kissshot.
"Come on"
Kissshot laughs.
"Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on -- kill me, servant"
"--Damn!"
She was searching the place to die?
Suicide?
That's -- just an escape!
It is proof you are running away from your heart!
No matter how dignified you act, your real feelings -- were the ones I heard that day, under that streetlight!
No, no, no!
I do not want to die, I do not want to die, I do not want to die!
Help me, help me, help me!
Please.
I cannot die, I cannot die!
I don't want to vanish, I don't want to disappear!
Someone, someone, someone, someonee--!
I am sorry!
"Oshinoo!"
I.
I looked up at the sky -- and yelled that with all my strength.
With the vampire lung capacity, I shouted with all my might.
"Oshino Meme!"
And -- I call out that man's name.
The name of that man dressed with an aloha shirt, frivolous and flippant.
The name of that man who understood everything from the beginning but didn't say anything -- that brazenly held in his mouth only an unlit cigarette.
"After all you are watching from somewhere -- don't put on airs and come here quickly! You bastard, I've got work for you!"
Hanekawa was looking at me surprised.
Kissshot was looking at me surprised.
However without paying attention to their glance -- I keep yelling.
"Oshino! I know you are here -- with your neutral standpoint, there is no way that you aren't watching this place right now! I have understood all your words -- I don't seek an explanation anymore! So come here -- I have understood what I have done, I deeply understood even the fact that I am not a victim but an offender! So come here -- Oshino Meme!"
"--I can hear you even if you don't yell like that"
Always with a buoyant attitude -- Oshino was sitting above the roof of the PE storehouse.
He was sitting cross-legged -- resting his chin in his hands.
Looking really bothered.
How long -- or maybe he was there all of a sudden.
"Araragi-kun. It's a first for us to meet in this place"
"......Oshino"
"Hahhaa, you are really energetic -- did something good happen?"
"I've got work for you"
I repeated.
I stared at Oshino -- and I repeated it.
"Do something"
"That is?"
With a wry smile, Oshino jumped down from the roof of the PE storehouse -- he has a physique that doesn't make you think he has very good reflexes, however he landed neatly, without even bending his knees.
And then he cheerfully gets near us.
"You are vague"
"I will pay money"
"It's not a problem of money"
"Then what is the problem?"
"It's your own problem"
Don't be pushy.
Oshino says like he is refusing.
In fact, he actually refused.
"Yo, class rep-chan"
And then Oshino raised a hand at Hanekawa.
"Nice to meet you, I'd say"
"......Yes"
Hanekawa responded with a nod.
"Nice to meet you -- I am Hanekawa"
"I am glad that I stopped in this city just in case, even if the business with Heartunderblade ended. Because by doing so I was able to get to know you"
"......I always thought you certainly disliked me, though"
"No way. I never happen to dislike a girl. I warn you that if you hear something strange from Araragi-kun, that's a false rumor"
Impudently.
Oshino said a barefaced lie.
"In fact you are amazing -- although you had nothing to do with the Kaiis, you were affected so deeply, female high schooler are really so energetic, did something good happen?"
"It's not like I had nothing to do with it"
Hanekawa said with resolution.
"Araragi's problem is my problem"
"Whoa, that's friendship"
Oshino lets out a simmering laugh.
It was a profoundly irritating demeanor that made fun of other people.
"Or is it youth?"
"Brat"
Kissshot says to Oshino--
"Do not interfere. We have a pact"
"I don't recall having made any pact with you, Heartunderblade -- I just wanted everything to turn out for the best. It was just better for me if you chose to die in order to turn Araragi-kun back into a human. For me -- in other words for humans"
Oshino said.
That's right.
Surely that was true even for Guillotinecutter.
I thought it was strange that he meekly returned Kissshot's arms, however, if I remember correctly, Oshino said he told Guillotinecutter the gist of it -- he informed him that I wanted to turn back into a human, and that Kissshot accepted it.
Therefore he returned them.
Oshino by doing so obtained a compromise.
By doing so he persuaded him -- with that reason, Guillotinecutter gave in.
If that was the case, even if he returned the arms he wouldn't contradict his doctrine.
He should have been able to preserve his face as an archbishop.
And yet, because I had been deep in talk with Kissshot, I had gone to the convenience store, and I had been regretting to part with Kissshot -- I dragged it out, no matter how much time passed I wasn't trying to kill Kissshot.
Guillotinecutter thought he had been tricked by Oshino, and he entered the cram school ruin alone.
Not even the barrier can hide Kissshot with her complete form.
"So well, although things approximately went as I thought...... Class rep-chan really did something superfluous. It would have been better if Araragi-kun didn't know it"
"I"
Hanekawa says not flinching at all.
"I think you are mistaken"
"Oh, boy. What a breast. I commend you just for your breast"
"W-What?"
Hanekawa pins down her breast in hot haste.
Shake shake.
Oshino looks at Hanekawa,
"Ah, I got it wrong. What a nerve. I commend you just for your nerve, I wanted to say" {the second kanji of "nerve" is that of "breast"}
And laughs.
As if it is possible.
That was just sexual harassment.
"Anyway, an honor student speech is quite something, well then class rep-chan, what do you plan to do about this situation?"
"......That is something for Araragi-kun to decide"
So replied Hanekawa to Oshino's rebuttal.
"If nothing else, ending all without knowing anything would be too cruel"
"You heard her, Araragi-kun. I am given the stern treatment -- Class rep-chan's excessive kindness is a cruelty. She is really abnormal. How in the world has she so much faith in you?"
"............"
"Say, what are you going to do?"
Oshino faced toward me--
And as usual, he held in his mouth an unlit cigarette.
"I just wanted to see with my eyes the after festival -- you have come so far, you have come so close, just in case I'll try to listen. The work you got for me as a specialist. About the fee, oh yeah, it will take over the 5 million yen I condoned you"
Oshino said, with a broad grin.
"Then, your wish?"
"......I want you to teach me a way to make everyone happy"
I put into words.
The wish from the bottom of my heart.
"A way to end things without anyone being unhappy"
"As if it existed"
Are you stupid, Oshino shrugged his shoulders.
"There's a limit even to convenience. That's a theme written by grade schoolers in moral classes. It's not realistic"
"Oshino -- I"
"However"
He takes out from his mouth the cigarette and put it back into his pocket.
Oshino Meme looks at Hanekawa, at Kissshot and at me in turn -- and says.
"There would be a way to make everyone unhappy"
He swiftly explains it to us who are dumbfounded at his words.
"In other words, I'm talking about distributing on everybody the burden of unhappiness generated by this situation -- nobody will have his wish fulfilled, but if that's fine with you, the way exists"
"............"
Everyone will become unhappy -- everyone will be burdened with unhappiness.
Distributing.
Subdividing -- the burden.
This is certainly not something to push onto a single person.
"Concretely...... yeah. Araragi-kun, come very close to kill Heartunderblade. Almost strip her of her special characteristics and abilities as a vampire -- just make sure she doesn't die. Make Heartunderblade more moribund than before. So much that she won't even be the shadow of her former self, not even her name will remain. Make her an inferior existence, a human-like pseudo-vampire -- an entity that won't be able to eat humans no matter how hungry she is"
And then, continued Oshino.
"Araragi-kun, you won't be able to turn back into a human -- but you will be able to come very close to it. You will become a vampire-like pseudo-human. Some of the special characteristics and abilities of a vampire will remain -- it won't be possible to strictly call you a human, but you will be extremely far from a vampire and extremely close to a human, naturally you will be completely different from a half vampire, become this kind of halfway entity. It will suit you"
"I-It will suit me, you say"
"Naturally you too won't be able to eat a human no matter how hungry you got. However...... by settling things this way, setting Araragi-kun aside, Heartunderblade will starve to death without sufficient nourishment. You must continue to constantly give Heartunderblade your blood. The sole nutrient able to keep Heartunderblade alive, once degraded to that inferior existence, will be just your flesh and blood. You must devote the rest of your life to Heartunderblade, and Heartunderblade for all the rest of her life must stay close to you"
"Then--"
Hanekawa cut into.
"In other words, we, the humans--"
"Yes. Give up on exorcising a dangerous vampire. Give up on the complete elimination of the Kaii Killer, The iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, as well as her subordinate. If she loses that much power, guys like Dramaturgie and Episode won't even be able to find Heartunderblade out. That is to say, the risk remains. The danger that Heartunderblade and Araragi-kun might turn back into vampires and eat people will remain to an extent that cannot be disregarded--"
If I do that--
Everybody will become unhappy.
Nobody's wish will be fulfilled.
Kissshot won't die.
I won't turn back into a human.
Both vampires will survive.
"......Do not joke around, brat!"
Kissshot yelled below me.
She raises her voice.
I already sucked half her blood -- unable to move, the only thing she was able do was to yell in that manner.
"What on earth does a brat who did not live a tenth of what I did understand!? Do not say convenient things -- I do not want to survive in those conditions! There is a limit even to disgrace -- I do not want to live in shame! My place to die is here! At last I found it -- at last I can die! I -- will die for my servant's sake! Let me die for his sake! Kill me, kill me -- hurry up and kill me! I do not want to live!"
"That's why you will become unhappy. You wish will not be fulfilled. Although the one who decides will be Araragi-kun. Yes, it's as class rep-chan says"
"Servant!"
As if she thought Oshino wasn't worth the talk, Kissshot turned her eyes my way.
"As I said now -- do not be taken in by that brat's fast talk. I do not want to live"
"......And yet, I"
Without hesitation, I decided it.
It was definitively my responsibility.
I thought hard at the consequences -- and I said it.
"I want you to live"
"............"
I --
Caressed her hair softly.
Her golden hair.
Her soft and smooth hair.
That -- yes.
It was certainly a sign of obedience.
"I will not say it once -- I will bow my head like a servant any number of times. So don't try to have a cool death -- live an awkward life for me. Don't search a place to die, search a place to live"
Kissshot -- had a desperate facial expression.
However she can't move.
She can't even struggle.
She is in tears--
With tears similar to blood, she was just supplicating.
"I-I beg thee...... please, servant. Somehow...... somehow kill me. Kill me, somehow turn back into a human. Help me--"
"I'm sorry, Kissshot"
I call out her name.
The name that perhaps I will not call her by again.
"I will not help you"
Thus -- my Spring Break ended.
The Spring Break that was like hell.
And my last Spring Break as a high schooler -- with a tragic bad ending in which nobody became happy and there was no salvation, the curtain closed.