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I've read through the first six chapters of your fanfic, Megu-Chan (aka Evil-Poptart) and let me give you my review so far:
I think that the fake-out you did in the first chapter was a very clever idea, as I said to myself, "This doesn't seem right..." However, after the first chapter I didn't find there to be very much of a shift in tone to make that first fake-out as poignant. Suiseiseki's anger towards Suigintou was well-done, and the scenes of her doting over Souseiseki and Hina Ichigo were heartfelt. I think you could have done a better job of writing for character (the characters tend to blend together in terms of personality, speech, and physical mannerisms.) I will keep reading, though.
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