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Aw! Now I feel sad because I want to know what happens next! Must...be...patient! But I will say that I'm glad that you're still updating despite your busy schedule.
Anyways, I think you've really improved not just in your writing but in your storytelling as well. I also think you've gotten clearer in your descriptions of what's happening.
A tip on quotations is that anytime someone initiates a sentence, there's a capital letter after it.
I enjoy reading the descriptions of the clothes they wear. Some Lies of Locke Lamora influence there?
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