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Test Drive
 Author
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Age: 33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo
What can I say? All the posts recently put me back in the mood!
Spoiler for 'Ready, Sette, Go!' Part 5:
In order to fully comprehend the events that followed, it was necessary to have a basic understanding of the hit Midchildan Arcade Shooter franchise, 'Blood Zombies'. I know that even with this knowledge, I still have difficulty comprehending exactly what occurred.
Created in Mid calendar year 52 by a small, privately owned company called 'Ecliptic Electronics', the original 'Blood Zombies' was a low-budget piece, to be generous. To be less generous, it was programmed by four men in a garage, it just happened to be four men who called themselves a 'company'. 'Blood Zombies' was created using technology equal to 'whatever they could find' and a budget of 'whatever they could scrounge'. As a result, the release was a shoddy product, vastly behind the times; 2-D graphics, non-learning AI, a story that was essentially nonexistent because no writer was hired. Despite this, 'Blood Zombies' quickly became a cult classic among serious gamers due to one thing it did have; brutal, unrelenting difficulty. All enemy characters moved quickly and randomly, and could only be destroyed by targeting a very specific and very small area that differed on each enemy sprite; ranging from the heads of the titular zombies to certain enemies with weak spots only a pixel or two in width. Further, the enemies tended to appear in large numbers, and did far more damage to the player than in other, similar games. Being merely proficient in 'Blood Zombies' was considered a badge of honor. Being skilled enough to beat the game was enough to make many gamers minor celebrities in their local arcades; free tokens or prizes, photos on the wall, and other such honors. Having at least one 'Blood Zombies' machine became not merely hoped for in all major arcades, but expected.
This unexpected success was sufficient to propel Ecliptic Electronics to status as a legitimate business, if a small one. Excellent sales of the more polished but equally difficult home console version pushed them further. And so, seeking to take advantage of this success, they began work on a sequel that would cement their position as a major entertainment company. 'Blood Zombies 2' was, in every way, superior to the original. The graphics were cutting edge, the story was surprisingly detailed for a work primarily revolving around a gameplay mechanic of shooting zombies until they ran out of blood, and the AI was now able to study the players as they progressed and conceive of plans to counter them.
And, of course, the famous difficulty was only enhanced by this, despite what Wendi seemed to believe. This will become important later in the report. I have here used what is called 'foreshadowing', or the use of current events to imply future ones.
At the time, of course, I knew none of this. I was merely satisfied that a combat simulator had finally been provided. It appeared to be geared toward long-range shooting combat, which was a specialty of mine (though I used thrown bladed projectiles rather than firearms, as the simulator provided), which I doubly approved of. The targets were somewhat abnormal, but I supposed it was largely irrelevant if this helped me get my long-range reflexes back.
I analyzed my weapon, considering the combat potential. According to the instructions ('Blood Zombies 2 Arcade Edition, Gameplay Instructions), the weapon could fire six consecutive shots before requiring a recharge, which was accomplished by pointing the weapon off-screen and pressing the firing trigger. This was not terribly realistic, but then this appeared to be a sort of civilian system for amateur marksmen. I supposed realism was secondary to improving basic skill and reflexes.
I lined up six shots, and felled six targets. The targets were rapidly moving and somewhat small, but my reflexes were honed in genuine combat. I was quite used to making precision attacks on fast-moving targets, and eliminated one target with each round. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill...
"Wow, you're good at this!" Wendi said. "How do you always get the... what do you mean he bit me?!"
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"Gah! Where did that spider thing come from? What the... zombie bees? Where the Hell did they get zombie bees?!"
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"Oh, come on there's no way you can be hitting... what the #$(*&, zombie pigs now?! Where the #$&^#%$ did those #*%&^#$* things come from?" Wendi screamed, loading a new token into her side of the simulator.
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"H-how do you keep track of all the little... GAAAAAH! #*#$&^#! Where did he come from? I just came back to life and I'm already dead again!" Wendi snapped, adding in another admission token.
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"Sette! Sette! Shoot this one he's got a chainsaw and... #$#*&$^*&^*&$^!$%!&$%&^!" Wendi said. I had never heard many of these words she was using before, and logged them for future analysis. She added another token.
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"You're cheating." Wendi said darkly. "This game is cheating. Everyone is cheating. Well, I won't let this game kill me, and I won't let my frickin' little sister out-score me, and I woSON OF A BITCH, WHAT THE #&$@ DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE ZOMBIE PIRANHAS IN THE PUDDLES? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ROOM FOR FISH IN THERE!" Wendi said.
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
"THAT'S IT. SCREW THIS GAME." Wendi snarled, laying one hand on the simulator console.
One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. One shot, one kill.
The machine began to glow. Wendi snapped her fingers.
And I learned, first-hand, exactly how and why Wendi had been temporarily banned from the establishment upon playing the original 'Blood Zombies'.
I wondered, vaguely, if the restaurant was called 'Pizza Explosion' because Wendi ate there often?
----------------------------------------------------
As we left the establishment, passing the arriving fire crews, my sisters and Ginga Nakajima appeared distraught. Wendi had been banned from 'Pizza Explosion' again, this time for the remainder of her natural life. Further, our meals had not yet arrived when Wendi detonated the arcade floor and prompted management to remove us from the premises. As a result, morale among the group was low in general.
"My scores were excellent. However, I do not believe that device's memory system survived, and therefore it will be impossible to compare to existing scores to determine my placement." I said, imparting positive information in an attempt to 'lighten' the mood.
"I... I think that was a lot of fun too." Wendi said. "Like... so much fun, we should just... keep going. Let's just keep having... lots of fun."
"We are going home." Cinque said. "We'll get something to eat there, where Sette can have a nice, calm meal in a family environment. And then we'll go back out again. Only this time, you'll be staying behind."
"Why?! I wanna go out toooooo!"
"Punishment. I thought that was obvious."
"B-but it was the game's fault! I didn't want to blow it up, I just..."
"Did the same damn thing you did last time? Got mad because you were losing and blew up the game?" Nove asked.
"N-no, I..."
"You do know that when I'm involved in incidents like this, my superiors hear about it, right? They'll find out I was at the scene." Ginga Nakajima said. "I take a day of leave to spend time with my new sister, and this happens. Poor Sette must be traumatized, and here comes a new black mark on my record..."
"It is all right. I am used to explosions in contained quarters." I said helpfully. "As to your other concerns, given my observations of your behavior thus far I have determined that you most likely have many black marks on your personnel records already. I doubt that another will seriously impede your career progression."
"... ... ... ..." Ginga Nakajima said. She must have been considering the wisdom of my words. Her performance was largely sub-par in most military matters, but she seemed to take instruction well. With time, effort, and leading by example, I could, perhaps, eventually mold her into a passable soldier. As the Nakajima family were not charging me any rent for my room and board, this would be an acceptable method of repaying them, I felt.
"... right. Sette, remind me that after we finish accustoming you to your surroundings, our second lesson for you should be 'tact'." Cinque said.
"Understood. New mission confirmed, to commence upon completion of current objectives." I said. I was quite pleased; as expected, Cinque had seen the value of my presence and continued to provide suitable objectives.
"... Yes. Well. That's... great. In any event... Wendi, all you had to do was behave, and you couldn't. So it's home with you."
"She cheated! Just like Dieci cheated last time!" Wendi whined.
"I didn't cheat! I'm just a good shot!" Dieci protested.
"All of my actions were within the parameters of the simulation. Further, I can state definitively that Dieci's marksmanship scores, as of last comparison, exceed my own by a combined average of 15.7%." I said. "Cinque, please confirm this analysis."
"Neither of them cheated. They're just better than you." Cinque said patiently.
"...Th-then that game cheated!" Wendi sniffled.
"It didn't cheat, you're just not any good at it!" Nove said.
"Your... your combat strategy does tend to favor large explosions rather than pinpoint accuracy." Dieci said.
"... I don't wanna go home." Wendi whimpered.
"Tough!" Ginga Nakajima said. I believe she had been looking forward to lunch.
"... ... Setteeeeeee! They're picking on meeeeeeeee!" Wendi said.
"Oh. I see." I said. I could think of nothing further to add.
"... ... ... ... you are no help at all, Sette."
This concerned me briefly, until I recalled that none of my current mission objectives required giving Wendi aid.
----------------------------------------------------
After depositing Wendi at the Nakajima Residence, my remaining sisters, Ginga Nakajima, and I commenced our second bout of reconnaissance.
"So, now that we've dropped the dead weight..." Nove began.
"Nove, be nice." Cinque said.
"Sorry. Now that we've gotten rid of the one person most likely to ruin any excursion..."
"... when did I become den mother to a flock of children?" Cinque asked. I saw no children, so I assumed this to be some sort of play on words and not a statement that Cinque had begun a new career without noticing.
"... what do you want to do next, Sette?"
"My current mission objectives are complete. Local sites of interest have been found and inspected." I said. "I am currently awaiting Cinque's approval to commence my second mission, tentatively titled 'tact'."
"... so in other words, you're open." Nove said.
"Yes, that is true."
"You had something mind, Nove?" Ginga Nakajima asked.
"Well... Sette wanted to train herself, right?" Nove asked. "I'm feeling antsy too, and I haven't dropped by today, so... why don't we work out some of her naturally aggressive tendencies in a socially acceptable situation? How about we enroll her in my Strike Arts class?"
Cinque frowned slightly. "I'd prefer to avoid anything martial, Nove."
"With all due respect, Cinque, perhaps Nove has a point." Dieci said. "Combat is... well, all Sette understands."
"I also understand cooking." I said. They seemed to have forgotten my new-found skill with pancakes.
"... yes. Well, in any event, my point is that, maybe... it might not be a bad idea to sort of ease her out of that. Wendi was just screwing around as a way of getting Sette to shoot zombies with her, but she did have a point: a way to channel Sette's natural drives into a civilian channel might not be a bad way to begin weaning her off her military mindset." Dieci said.
Cinque considered this for a moment, before smiling slightly. "That's... not a bad point. Cold turkey rarely does any good, after all. All right, Nove, the ball's in your court."
"Whoo-hoo!" Nove said, pumping her fist exuberantly. "Sette, you're going to have a blast, I promise!"
"I see no court, nor ball." I said. "So I believe Cinque was mistaken about the ball being in your court. I apologize."
"... yeah. Yeah, that's great." Nove said. She did not sound as enthusiastic.
Perhaps she had been looking forward to having a ball.
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So basically, you used this chapter as an excuse to throw in just about every zombified animal you could think of, didn't you? 
And once again, beneath all the humor I still manage to find something that is a little sad/depressing.  Wendi's screaming at the game had me in stiches, but it was rather sombered by the fact that Sette was so focused on her "One shot, one kill" mantra the whole time. It's like an ultimate contrast; you have the complete and utter hilarity that is Wendi cursing out zombie fish and zombie pigs, and then you have Sette who is being single-minded and rather lgoical about all of it. I don't know, I find something about that a little sad.
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