Quote:
Originally Posted by RWBladewing
Everyone with relationship issues can at least take solace in the fact that they aren't me - 2 months away from 28 and have never had a single person express even the tiniest hint of romantic interest. You know that one anime character archetype, the main character's comedy relief best friend who never gets any of the girls? That guy is me irl.  |
Drop that attitude, because it's going to hold you back. As
warita and others have mentioned, it's all about being confident. Everyone is attracted to confidence. It's not about believing that you're better than everyone else, but believing that you're worthwhile and no less than anyone else.
I'm not going to say that you're perfect as you are. Nobody is. You may have some personal work to do in order to make yourself more attractive or more fit for a relationship. All the same, as you are right now, you are someone valuable, you have something to contribute, and many girls would be lucky to occupy that intimate part of your life. If you need help with the personal work, feel free to reply back and we can all give you some tips and analysis. Ultimately it's up to you to do the work and make the changes that need to be made, but we're all rooting for you.
With that said, there are some practical things to consider. No matter how attractive you are, if you're holing yourself up in your room all day and night, you're not being seen. You don't need to go to bars or parties, but get yourself out there and attend social events where you can. (I generally hate social events, so if you're like me, you'll find this to be a bit of a challenge - but you're up to it.) A "cheat" to get around this aspect is to join a social dating site. Nobody will look down on you for choosing that avenue - one might even argue that it's the smarter way to go, these days.
Outward appearance is another consideration, not necessarily because it relates to attractiveness but because it relates to confidence. Is your hair messy? Fix it. Do you usually comb it down? Try combing it up for a more energetic look. Are you wearing worn out clothes that look tattered? Get something - anything - that looks better maintained. Do you have any skin conditions that are outwardly obvious? Go see a dermatologist and get it treated. This isn't about being superficial, it's about advertising. To put it into more standard guy terms, even the hottest car will look unappealing with signs of rust and chipped paint, right?
Another major consideration is how approachable you make yourself. Don't shy away from making eye contact with people, even if they're random strangers. Don't be afraid to smile at them, either (don't smile in a creepy manner or at inappropriate times/scenarios, of course, and recognize that even if you're good about it, some people will think it's creepy regardless). Making eye contact and smiling are generally inviting, and can result in an encounter occurring. Lastly, make sure that you're not walking around looking angry or depressed all the time; make sure that your neutral expression is really neutral, or even happy. Again, people will be drawn to that. Even if you don't get people randomly initiating conversations with you, they'll be more receptive to you if you try to initiate one with them. A lot of this advice applies to approaching both men and women, even for non-romantic interests, and a lot of it will occur naturally if you have high self-confidence and a good outlook on your life.
Lastly,
don't be afraid of rejection! This applies to initiating random conversations, too. Not everyone is going to be receptive to you. That's just personal chemistry, and you shouldn't take it personally.