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texrvb · 2012-09-07, 07:20

@churchblue I think you are overthinking it. I do like the kind of character you put up, but I still think it needs revises. For example instead of a yacht bombing, why not a storm. It gives a better entry to the island. Also, you should have the father die on the island cause it would be meaningful. You also put more effort into his past childhood like he puts a "wall" around himself to protect his feelings and lies to his family so that he's not a burden to them (usually he only lies that he has friends so that he can duel burst linkers). He is not afraid of being alone, hence would explain why he was a level 8 very early. He is sad, but does want friends because of how they view him by class and, again, doesn't want himself to be emotionally hurt even though he is.

This should be the comparison:

His past self: Alone, put a "wall" around himself, doesn't being judged or emotionally hurt.

His present self: the "wall" fracture a little, doesn't care how people view him, tries to make an effort in be social.

Putting him with Fuuko is interest, but why does he fully trust her only? I do agree he isn't invincible (he trusts himself and keeps important info to himself), a very hard to read book. I do enjoy writing ideas and having them commented (I comment others). It's my first time, so don't take this comment as an insult.

2012-09-07, 07:20	Link #182
texrvb Banned Join Date: Sep 2012	@churchblue I think you are overthinking it. I do like the kind of character you put up, but I still think it needs revises. For example instead of a yacht bombing, why not a storm. It gives a better entry to the island. Also, you should have the father die on the island cause it would be meaningful. You also put more effort into his past childhood like he puts a "wall" around himself to protect his feelings and lies to his family so that he's not a burden to them (usually he only lies that he has friends so that he can duel burst linkers). He is not afraid of being alone, hence would explain why he was a level 8 very early. He is sad, but does want friends because of how they view him by class and, again, doesn't want himself to be emotionally hurt even though he is. This should be the comparison: His past self: Alone, put a "wall" around himself, doesn't being judged or emotionally hurt. His present self: the "wall" fracture a little, doesn't care how people view him, tries to make an effort in be social. Putting him with Fuuko is interest, but why does he fully trust her only? I do agree he isn't invincible (he trusts himself and keeps important info to himself), a very hard to read book. I do enjoy writing ideas and having them commented (I comment others). It's my first time, so don't take this comment as an insult. Last edited by texrvb; 2012-09-07 at 07:39.