AnimeSuki Forum - View Single Post - Need help for an attempt with a sports story...

judasmartel · 2013-01-28, 23:42

Okay, so I have written an outline building to the first game of the story, then a full dialogue version of the Training Montage before the game. Everything was fine until the part where the "trainer" teaches the heroes how to do defense (rebounding and shot-blocking). Somehow, the MC was able to learn how to post up her mark rather quickly, with guidance from the "trainer" of course.

I wanted to show the MC to be a natural, gifted with a body perfectly suited for the game and potential to become a great player if she works hard for it (kinda like Dennis Rodman, minus the crazy antics, or Dwight Howard, only with the potential), but is still a beginner in the game so she still needs to be trained in the basics.

But somehow, my last scene before the pick-up game came off as a Deus ex Machina or an Ass Pull.

Any suggestions?

2013-01-28, 23:42	Link #38
judasmartel Senior Member Author Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Cainta, Rizal, Philippines	Okay, so I have written an outline building to the first game of the story, then a full dialogue version of the Training Montage before the game. Everything was fine until the part where the "trainer" teaches the heroes how to do defense (rebounding and shot-blocking). Somehow, the MC was able to learn how to post up her mark rather quickly, with guidance from the "trainer" of course. I wanted to show the MC to be a natural, gifted with a body perfectly suited for the game and potential to become a great player if she works hard for it (kinda like Dennis Rodman, minus the crazy antics, or Dwight Howard, only with the potential), but is still a beginner in the game so she still needs to be trained in the basics. But somehow, my last scene before the pick-up game came off as a Deus ex Machina or an Ass Pull. Any suggestions?