OK I'll keep this short since it's late and I'm rather tired. However I'll likely add to it in another post in the next day or so. Feel free to ask me about any line or two... just recall I won't be posting every detail of every line.
Volume 18 was in my local Barnes and Noble today... off first glance they really dumbed down the text vs the scans. That said I noticed a few lines that made more sense (Priscilla calls "the weak scent of that man" "the source" for example) yet many of the more clear explanations kinda felt dumbed down to me, worse some amazing wording was lost in some key scenes too. For example "N..NO... UMA-SAN... SHE'S... SHE'S... BEYOND SAVING..." went to "N-No... No, Don't. Uma... We're... We're too late..." I'm sorry, that's god awful writing.
Priscilla's first line to Beth IMHO made her sound a lot stronger than the scan here she calls them "miserable weaklings" vs "weak babies" in the scans.
Oh, and Jean is no longer a big wedge inside of Clare but a great big block.
It felt really weird seeing Helen ask what a block was
(vs asking what a wedge was in the scans)
The difference that I liked least was that Yuma's whole "I'm about to die thought process" was poorly worded. "It's good I led them this far away, but if I bite it here, it would still be a burden to Cynthia. I don't want to die quite this quickly. and I'd finally managed to pull off regenerating and synchronizing. I was hoping I'd finally be of some use to the rest of the gang. I wonder if Miria would have been proud of me... Helen and Deneve sure would have been surprised. Tabitha would have said the same thing as Miria. Clare... what would Clare think? Clare was always so distant... she probably wouldn't have said a word. but in her heart, she'd be the happiest one of all I think. I really wanted to see everyone just one more time."
First off the line " but if I bite it here, it would still be a burden to Cynthia." is pure fucking shit! I mean first off it makes it sound like if she lives she's a burden too
but the big failure of it is that it doesn't clarify if it means she didn't run far enough away and the hellcats could come back and eat her in her weakened state or if her death would cause her to blame herself for her Death as well as Veronica's and cause her to suffer quietly alone with that cross to bare rather than being able to be there for her after the fight and help her move on past Veronica emotionally.
My next problem was the very next line "I don't want to die quite this quickly." Um... Ok i get that you meant that you don't want to die just yet... but it makes it sound like you'd prefer a horribly gruesome death over an instant one. Which is ,uh, just freaky out of character and very disturbed.
I disliked "I wonder if Miria would have been proud of me..." since it makes it seem like Miria has low standards vs the scans like of "would have praised me" as in a good healthy compliment to make her feel good about herself and show her appreciation of her accomplishment but that would also help her take a next step forward to become even stronger.
My final problem was the line "Clare... what would Clare think?" Don't you mean "do" not "think"? After all as a character with a limited point of view your first natural thought would be how she'd reacts not the thought process behind it, that comes after.
Overall I felt this was mostly a very dumbed down version of the scans that occasionally got something right (which only made Daufs extra dumbing down he gets in any VIZ translation even worse". Plus they needlessly added lines here and there, my guess was it was to make it sound more like every day speak but I feel it failed on this front. I mean for example Dea's first stated personal opinion upon seeing the Destroyer was "Magnificent!" Yet here it's "Magnificent, isn't it?"... yeah, I get it... no one in real life says those awesome oneliner reactions but random rhetorical questions to people whom he views as idiots isn't something he'd do either... since he's not the type to want there opinions. So why the hell did they bother doing that? Just to needlessly confuse people? I didn't notice any errors, which is a good plus though, but lots of why the hell did they bother changing that? I mean lets face it the fans of Claymore aren't little kids whom need dumbing down... in fact most little kids wouldn't read Claymore since they want something far lighter and less dark so why write to that crowd rather than the true target market whom is older and more than smart enough to figure out the dialog of Claymore. Is it a desperate attempt to gain more young readers to the series for more sales? which makes no since due to the age rating on the back stating older teen+ or is it pure ignorance of whom your target market is in the states and English speaking world?