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I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Grand Mother isn't being a complete bitch, nor that Ohana is being a spastic air head. Her treatment is rather harsh, but I personally wouldn't qualify it as abusive. And if anything, all you can really peg Ohana on is being a naive person whose found themselves in a totally new environment. And it's pretty clear the Grandmother has some feelings for her Grand daughter, and that Ohana is willing to not shirk off when she feels like she made someone else get in trouble for her own screw up.
If there was anyone I came away disliking it was Minko. I can understand a degree of irritation with Ohana's initial behavior and blunders , but her actions really ultimately felt more immature. You get the feeling she's under allot of pressure at the inn, and copes by letting it all out on someone she feels is lower on the pecking order than she is.
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