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Old 2009-06-11, 01:18   Link #57
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
I find most forms of swearing to be deplorable. It shows a lack of vocabulary, for one. The trouble is, many people become so used to using a swear word instead of a proper noun or verb that when they try to kick the habit they have difficulty. Suddenly you need to think of an actual, varied word, instead of that one word you were using in every other sentence.

The more pressing reason for me is that it shows an insensitivity about the cursing person. I'm rather sensitive to the emotions of those around me (especially if I know a person well). Cursing, unless used comically (I'll get to that next), expresses a lot of anger. A person who curses over every little thing is, to me, someone who is not at peace. Each curse underlies a lot of negativity. I actively recognize that and dislike it; I wonder how many others are negatively impacted without really recognizing that their mental state was just littered on.

Cursing can be used to heighten a comical situation, but in my mind it is to words what slapstick is to comedy. That is, overexaggerated violence is funny, but actually going out and hurting someone is not. So it is with words.

I limit my curses to the times when I am very distressed or angered. They're quite rare, but when they're used there's no mistaking my condition. In my opinion, they should be reserved for those cases.

Rather than using curses, I've taken up other words and phrases to express minor frustration or venting. Terms like "garbage," "bother," "drat" (I'm not as colorful as Vexx in that regard) - they allow you to release some tension from within yourself, yet by virtue of being antiquated (or totally ridiculous) they'll often be found amusing to those around you. That's good - you've removed some of your own tension and in the process you've lightened the mood of the group. That's positive energy for you.

I'd ask that anyone who curses regularly please stop, or at least limit it to when you're in private. It's really unpleasant to the people around you, and the fact that so many people do it with abandon doesn't make it any better.

(And if you do it professionally, you're bound to suffer for it sooner or later. My lab is largely made up of Chinese from China, and they often speak Mandarin amongst each other. Eventually at one meeting, one of the lab directors blew up at one of the workers - unbeknownst to me and the other non-Chinese speaking member, that worker was constantly cursing in Chinese. The director - who speaks Chinese as well - tolerated it for a while, but apparently it was really grating on him. Needless to say, it was an awkward meeting, and the cursing member is no longer with us. So, to those of you who think that cursing in Japanese is cool, don't make it a habit, either - if you happen to work with a Japanese speaker, you'll be at risk.)
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