Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh
It's not just his past. Killua knows that if it comes down to it, Gon will die for him. Impulsively, stupidly, but he will. Killua's worried that he can't do that for Gon. That, as his family taught him, he's too calculating for that kind of sacrifice. Or even for a great risk.
That's why he was about to fight Nobunaga. That question was so important to him, he neglected to actually look for a solution where they both escaped.
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Yes, there's that too, but like you said in the end he was willing to make up for that calculating nature of his (which is a result of psychological conditioning from Illumi and not his actual inherent nature) with a reckless sacrifice to save the friend whose friendship he feels he doesn't deserve, so if anything that just makes him more sympathetic. But yes, all of his feelings of inadequacy are quite understandable and stem from real issues, I'm not denying that.